Eye contact and financial obscurity : glancing down and to the right during date and questionable financial props. Need experienced advice

  • FLASurfboy

    Posts: 101

    May 29, 2012 3:12 PM GMT
    I recently had a date with a guy from ****, and this one was a bit different in many respects. This guy is younger than me in age, but doesn't look it. I am older and look 10 yrs younger than him. He is slightly out of shape and I have a high metabolic rate staying lean. He was concerned about several strands of gray hair. He seemed to apologize several times for not being his full self when I knew it and I said "its OK". I am very shy usually and don't not keep eye contact well, but I DID and what I noticed was my date's eye were going down and slightly to the right most of the time, and coming back up to mine.

    We both agreed that a first meeting is not about making snap judgements based on being nervous and awkward that determines nothing. I was confident and assured, trying to brighten him up out of this lull mode, and this is NOT like me. I do like him and was showing my interest by holding the eye contact and he did with me, but majority of glances were down and slightly right. So what were my dates eyes telling me since for me I maintained better eye contact to observe the prevailing motions of his ?

    He is a very well to do guy supposedly, and brought laminate listings for close to a million dollar PH's to show me. He knows there is a financial issue for me and doesn't have an issue should we start a LTR together. I like the guy for himself and not the money, but I just don't have a clue what compelled him to bring listings that he will be closing on one soon. I have no clue if these cards were just some prop. The thing is this, I like him, but can't be wasting time with a "player" who is not real. In our emails he OFFERED and VOLUNTEERED : repeat I DID NOT ASK him to show me anything at all. It is DIFFERENT when one just volunteers that kind of info and ONLY I took him on his offer, and he did show me "print outs" of bank activity, but I don't know what is factual or fabricated. There are FAKES in this world, and I tend to give people the benefit of doubt than those who are JADED!

    Is it safe to say if he likes me and is real that he won't really object to logging on and showing me his bank statement online ? He did say in one email "that's not hard to bring pay-check stubs" but anyone with a brain knows false docs are easily done in this computer age and I just don't have any idea if this is just a ploy to get in my pants eventually. Again, I like the guy and I felt comfortable with him, but being real is important.

    We are to see a movie later in the week and I want to approach him, but often it's not what we say, but how we react that is fact of the matter. Give me ideas on reactions of a guy basically bullshitting me to avoid being caught when approached. What I don't want to do is turn him off if he's been genuine as he could feel its insulting to further question the validity of his finances and only after his money, which is not the case and I just want peace of mind to know I'm not wasting time I don't have. Sorry for this being so long. Thanks for any suggestions or advice in this matter
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    May 29, 2012 3:34 PM GMT
    This is the strangest thread I've ever read.

    You guys produced bank statements on your first meeting? This whole scenario is so bizarre...
  • FLASurfboy

    Posts: 101

    May 29, 2012 3:46 PM GMT
    I don't have anything to show lol! I have a financial security issue that is made up front and he volunteered to bring papers I never asked for. I just called him on it, but anyone's guess if the print out is real or falsified
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    May 29, 2012 3:46 PM GMT
    This sounds like it was more an interrogation than a date. You wonder if the date was a ploy to get into your pants, but from his perspective it could well have appeared a ploy to get into his wallet.

    I don't know anyone who would show his personal finances and bank account to a perfect stranger. If such a request were made of me, even as an indirect hint, I would consider the possibility that I was dealing with a con artist.

    Poor guy, he's probably desperate for dates, maybe a BF, and instead he gets grilled on his finances. No wonder he was looking down. If that's not the case then you certainly don't explain it here very well. icon_rolleyes.gif
  • FLASurfboy

    Posts: 101

    May 29, 2012 3:54 PM GMT
    Art Deco,

    I did NOT ask the man for his financials. He OFFERED to bring them with him and I took him up on the offer. There was no interrogation sir during our date, I only looked briefly in the car before being dropped off. You are way off base. I did NOT initially ask for anything and that was all on him to produce or not
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    May 29, 2012 3:56 PM GMT
    I wish I could find a millionaire who'd show me his bank statements on the first date. icon_lol.gif
  • FLASurfboy

    Posts: 101

    May 29, 2012 4:30 PM GMT
    Can someone just tell me what those eye motions meant ? Unlike what Mr Deco thought happened I asked the guy about himself, interests, fun things, previous relationship and me getting into my own career with help and direction, so topic of conversation wasn't about money at all, but he sure likes to shop and indicate that play hard is important to him and willing to share it
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    May 29, 2012 4:38 PM GMT
    Prepboy4Older saidCan someone just tell me what those eye motions meant ?
    He was bored.
  • Trepeat

    Posts: 546

    May 29, 2012 6:06 PM GMT
    Anyone who brings lamenated bank statements on the first date is a weirdo. If you're looking for a healthy relationship, find someone else.

    DEAL BREAKER
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    May 29, 2012 7:55 PM GMT
    Do you really want to deal with the issues this guy might have?
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    May 29, 2012 8:08 PM GMT
    He's shy and unsure of himself. He thought bank statements would impress you since he didn't think he could physically.
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    May 29, 2012 11:50 PM GMT
    Welcome to RealJock! Thanks for creating your profile today and jumping right into the Forums!

    If you're unsure of his true financial condition or question the devotion which he may have to you as your relationship develops, ask him to "put up" and buy you stuff like gold, loose investment grade diamonds, real estate (in your name and unencumbered by mortgage or lein, of course), and a small irrevocable trust to pay for the property taxes et. al. on the real estate.

    You'll know quickly just how committed he is before you "put out".

    Forego fancy new clothes, fancy restaurants and other things that are a waste of good liquid assets. Make sure you have your own safe deposit box. For any jewelry to be worn, get copies made and put the real stuff in the safe deposit box. Frequent, plentiful and increasing gifts of cash (dollars, loonies, euros) are always a sign of a growing and undying love. These should be encouraged.

    Remember, at age 35 you're not getting any younger. You're not a spring chicken now and none of us can count on Social Security being there when we're full on hags (as opposed to younger "haglettes"). So, lock in your relationship with the highest yield you can get and the love that you two enjoy can meaningful and profitable for both of you.

    Again, welcome to RealJock! I hope my response to your OP is golden.

    Aloha and Be Well!
    Alan

    P.S. The fine art of Miguel Camacho-Padilla is a steal right now while he's still alive. I suggest buying up his entire portfolio AND commissioning large works while you can. Fine art is ALWAYS a wise investment.
  • FLASurfboy

    Posts: 101

    May 29, 2012 11:53 PM GMT
    TheBizMan saidHe's shy and unsure of himself. He thought bank statements would impress you since he didn't think he could physically.


    Well Biz man, I think you are sensible. At first glance I noticed he was "pudgy" in the frame as he came in view to sit at the table and knew that I had the higher attraction. So no he's not some super attractive hottie and in-shape, but he's not ugly. Unlike most of the men, I don't care much about "figure" lol than I do about the person they are to be with and I was into this person regardless of the money. He made several apologies too. "sorry for not being himself" "sorry for being quiet" and I told him he was "fine" and trying to get him to relax. Told me has like 4 gray hairs and he colored his hair yesterday so I wouldn't see them on the next date and I said "where are they" .

    Yes there some insecurity issues, but ya know usually I am shy and not very assured and it felt weird for me to be relaxed, confident and assured. It's almost as if I am in control. I asked where he wanted to eat and he wanted me to pick it. In a text he asked me where I want to go on a trip. I'm sure when its time to pick out a movie, he's going to want me to do the choosing instead of him making the decision and go along with it. Trust me I think a number of guys would have walked the moment he did come into view and he did show a more slender picture than he appeared, but I am not most guys and wasn't going let it be a "deal breaker" though and see who the person is instead.


    What I haven't said yet is we had a dinner date for 7:30 on Sun and I arrived on time, but he wasn't there. I text like 3 times and implied "hope I haven't been stood up" and then finally responds telling me he took a nap and just woke up with my texts buzzing and I told him I would wait and hold the table. To just get ready and come have our meeting as when we were supposed to meet the previous week he had some "sickness" and telling me he was taking Tylenol pm to stay asleep supposedly the entire week.icon_confused.gif


    Well I guess he knew it was now or never at that point. Yes I admit this is sorta weird, but I'm trying to figure out if his eye's were showing attraction since this is one of few times I maintained contact than being shy and withdrawn myself and was able to remember his predominant motions. If the articles on eye contact are correct then he showed emotional feeling and flirty contact. I just want to know "genuine" or "something to hide"
  • FLASurfboy

    Posts: 101

    May 30, 2012 12:16 AM GMT
    Trepeat saidAnyone who brings lamenated bank statements on the first date is a weirdo. If you're looking for a healthy relationship, find someone else.

    DEAL BREAKER


    LOL Can you read ? I didn't say laminated bank statements, I said laminated RE luxury listings and that was out of LEFT field to bring. He had told me was looking at PH's in DC by email, but I would have never expected him to bring those and show them to me on a first meet. This is either all genuine or this guy has a good game going on is some fake pretending. How the hell do I know he didn't look at those listings with no intention of buying and just giving me the appearance of doing so. Part of me is skeptical as I have been "burned"before and part of me wants to believe at face value giving benefit of the doubt without feeling cynical
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    May 30, 2012 12:27 AM GMT
    Prepboy4Older said
    Trepeat saidAnyone who brings lamenated bank statements on the first date is a weirdo. If you're looking for a healthy relationship, find someone else.

    DEAL BREAKER


    LOL Can you read ? I didn't say laminated bank statements, I said laminated RE luxury listings and that was out of LEFT field to bring. He had told me was looking at PH's in DC by email, but I would have never expected him to bring those and show them to me on a first meet. This is either all genuine or this guy has a good game going on is some fake pretending. How the hell do I know he didn't look at those listings with no intention of buying and just giving me the appearance of doing so. Part of me is skeptical as I have been "burned"before and part of me wants to believe at face value giving benefit of the doubt without feeling cynical


    When you're at the closing table and the deed is in your name "free and clear", then you will know that he's serious.

    The rich don't get rich by being suckers. The rich get rich by being smart and shrewd. So, be smart and shrewd as well. It's not being cynical. It's just being smart and shrewd.
  • FLASurfboy

    Posts: 101

    May 30, 2012 12:37 AM GMT
    When you're at the closing table and the deed is in your name "free and clear", then you will know that he's serious.

    The rich don't get rich by being suckers. The rich get rich by being smart and shrewd. So, be smart and shrewd as well. It's not being cynical. It's just being smart and shrewd.[/quote]


    Ah well, from what I understand he is closing on Thurs, but I am not going to be there. I guess I can always ask him to take me to the place and show me which one he chose after our movie. I guess if he has the keys that can't be faked very well

    Yeah, you could be right. He could be showing me an indirect shrewdness by never giving any indication he is quite attracted and playing "I'm not worthy of you" card
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    May 30, 2012 12:38 AM GMT
    funny_derp_pictures_640_14.jpg
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    May 30, 2012 12:51 AM GMT
    This whole thing is from bizarro world. The guy reminds me of (couldn't embed):

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=xrJIeI7JdPE

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=bFCbiDtkz9A

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2012 12:54 AM GMT
    I don't get it - so he asked if he could show you this stuff? And you said yes. And now you're wondering why he showed you? Why don't you just ask him none of us are gonna know his motives
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2012 1:10 AM GMT
    My comments in RED.

    Prepboy4Older saidWhen you're at the closing table and the deed is in your name "free and clear", then you will know that he's serious.

    The rich don't get rich by being suckers. The rich get rich by being smart and shrewd. So, be smart and shrewd as well. It's not being cynical. It's just being smart and shrewd.



    Ah well, from what I understand he is closing on Thurs, but I am not going to be there. I guess I can always ask him to take me to the place and show me which one he chose after our movie. I guess if he has the keys that can't be faked very well

    Assets in HIS name. Hmmmm. Also, any place can be "rented". I've seen quite a few shows in my life. Don't be fooled. Ownership is VERY different than tenancy.

    Yeah, you could be right. He could be showing me an indirect shrewdness by never giving any indication he is quite attracted and playing "I'm not worthy of you" card

    That's it! Now you're thinking. Continue to allow him to play that card. In fact, subtly reinforce this notion so that he believes this and maintains a subservient devotion to you. Make him believe that he can never get better.
    [/quote]

    Once he closes on his PH, get a set of keys to his place and subtly suggest that to make the environment "even" for both of you that he purchase another property "free and clear" and in your name. You can even allow him to have a set of keys to your place (as locks can always be changed). "Put out" just enough to give him a glimpse of paradise, but don't you go turning over "tenancy" until the deed is recorded IN YOUR NAME. Once this has happened, then screw him into the sheets silly like he's never experienced before. Make it good. Make it real good, nasty, and unforgettable.

    Then, withhold.

    Begin build up towards the next major asset purchase IN YOUR NAME. Tease him with the smell of your jock in his face. Whisper in his ear the wicked little phrases from the last deep breeding you gave him...all the way to the purchase.

    Repeat the process.

    Also, get a regular "stipend" early for living expenses so that you can focus full time on going to the gym getting even hotter (since you are in better shape), and making home. Assure him that you are doing this for the both of you, and so that you will be strong and able to take care of him.

    But don't be lazy. Put some of that time to work growing your other assets on the side. Make sure you keep those assets discretely parked in offshore trusts ("just in case"). Just know that you will still have to pay U.S. taxes on those gains. Even Switzerland's bankers will tell all to the IRS.

    With a cultivated, measured and metered dispensing of what he itches, craves and lusts for most, you can find yourself sitting quite pretty, well off, and secure for when you are old.

    At some point, you will want to visit a competent and trusted probate attorney to arrange for your name as prime beneficiary and executor of his last will and testament, and with power of attorney over healthcare decisions "to truly prove his undying love for you and trust in you".
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    May 30, 2012 1:21 AM GMT
    You've been reading way too many spy novels. In an interview, Groria Stynam was asked what she learned from being a writer. "Not believing everything I read" was her answer. I'm a writer. Don't believe what you read in books. What you read on the internet is complete bullshit.
  • metta

    Posts: 39133

    May 30, 2012 1:23 AM GMT
    ughh......

    I wish you both well, but the financial statement thing would be a total turn off to me. I guess it could be a low self esteem...but ughhhh.....it kind of reminds me of those Realtors on Million Dollar Listing (Bravo). All this talk about money feels slimy /repulsive to me. And that game playing that GAMRican is suggesting is making it worse.
  • FLASurfboy

    Posts: 101

    May 30, 2012 1:25 AM GMT
    k3l3k0 saidI don't get it - so he asked if he could show you this stuff? And you said yes. And now you're wondering why he showed you? Why don't you just ask him none of us are gonna know his motives


    No, not ask. He willfully volunteered the condos, his 2 cars. It's like this I DID NOT ASK for him to prove anything to me. He decided to write this information on his OWN ACCORD and after revealing a bi-weekly pay check of 17k, I was like this is starting to sound way too good to be real and could be a game player trying to play up to what kind of guy I am looking for who is "financially secure" and I get tons of younger guys in their early 30's on Match telling me they are "millionaires" and whatnot. This one guy got past my entire screening process that most typical 30-40yr olds bail on, chastise and stereotype me over. I was looking for OLDER in my profile but this guy is like a "black swan" in terms of economic lingo that has defied a typical pattern of reaction from most icon_neutral.gif
  • FLASurfboy

    Posts: 101

    May 30, 2012 1:34 AM GMT
    barriehomeboy saidYou've been reading way too many spy novels. In an interview, Groria Stynam was asked what she learned from being a writer. "Not believing everything I read" was her answer. I'm a writer. Don't believe what you read in books. What you read on the internet is complete bullshit.


    I DON'T! This is why I made the post since I was able to make a rare but objectionable observation and remembered his eye movements when spoken to
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    May 30, 2012 1:43 AM GMT
    The un-thinkable has happened.

    A thread has been created that actually makes Art_Deco's post sound like the most intelligent, well-thought out one on here.

    The fact that he has a Mu-Mu hiked up over his waist and a funnel in his mouth to swallow the frozen Mai-Tai's is almost irrelevant.

    stupidest post ever.

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