physical perfection, social pressures on....men?

  • ChilaxinJOCK0...

    Posts: 1513

    May 30, 2012 4:51 AM GMT
    I feel like in the last couple years Ive seen, heard about, dicussed, and experienced this new social pressure on males to be physically perfect! Pressures that women, sadly, have felt about their bodies for decades seem to now also be seriously cast onto men.

    I went to a college beach the other day and I legit felt like a fat WHALE, almost every guy out there looked like they were like 0% body fat and nothing but oiled up muscle!

    Ive also heard that over the years male anorexia/bulimia has suddenly become quite a problem with young men due to these pressures.

    Theres really no point to this post...I just find this annoying. I wanna be fit and look good and all that, but im not trying to obsess over every inch of my body. ANyone else notice this? Obviously as gay men, we are probably more concerned than str8 guys (we are trying to attract MEN, who are visual creatures)...but DANG

    http://teenhealth.about.com/od/bodyimage/a/malebodyimage.htm
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    May 30, 2012 4:55 AM GMT
    ChilaxinJOCK09 saidI feel like in the last couple years Ive seen, heard about, dicussed, and experienced this new social pressure on males to be physically perfect!
    You're absolutely right.

    Ask most any guy I've worked with in the past couple years (gay straight and bi) and they'll tell you they've been trying to out-do me physically. My getting in shape started a trend (because I didn't flaunt it - they actually saw the change). And I've seen that happening in other places with other [non RJ] friends who've spent the past few years taking care of themselves.
  • ChilaxinJOCK0...

    Posts: 1513

    May 30, 2012 5:00 AM GMT
    yuppppp, every guy wants to be the cover of men's health mag. I think every guy I know is either doing p90x or Insanity. Even the str8 guys who used to never give a shit
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    May 30, 2012 5:02 AM GMT
    I think you're perfect Chilaxin. I personally am not into overly perfect guys. Too much pressure, and most of the time they just aren't passionate. They think their bodies will compensate for a lack of a hot mind. It doesn't.

    A lot of guys just don't know hot they are.
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    May 30, 2012 5:03 AM GMT
    I've be feeling the same. I've always been a bit shy about my body but now it's turning into a self-esteem issue because even a straight guy told me that I look "dumpy" and the gays aren't much more forgiving. I'm not even overweight either, I'm about 5'11" and 160lbs.
    Feeling like I have to wear at least a tank top when swimming or doing any other summer activities is really getting to me.
    I know most guys on here would tell me to just get in shape, but the real problem is, as you say, the pressure to have the "perfect" body when not everyone can achieve that body type from exercise and eating healthy.
  • ChilaxinJOCK0...

    Posts: 1513

    May 30, 2012 5:07 AM GMT
    I agree with you guys. I was leaving work the other day, and a pretty cute younger coworker asked me if I had been to a beach bar that I saw him at a few weeks ago. And he told me he doesnt wanna go back to the bar until hes been in the weightroom for a few months bc of the way the guys in there look. I laughed when he said it, and then I realized...he was SERIOUS
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    May 30, 2012 5:08 AM GMT
    Chill-you're 6'2 brown blue eyed with great legs- Don't complain- We all love you just they way you are man/icon_cool.gif
  • ChilaxinJOCK0...

    Posts: 1513

    May 30, 2012 5:11 AM GMT
    MikemikeMike saidChill-you're 6'2 brown blue eyed with great legs- Don't complain- We all love you just they way you are man/icon_cool.gif


    ehh im a 6'1, im a big liar lol
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    May 30, 2012 5:19 AM GMT
    ChilaxinJOCK09 saidI feel like in the last couple years Ive seen, heard about, dicussed, and experienced this new social pressure on males to be physically perfect! Pressures that women, sadly, have felt about their bodies for decades seem to now also be seriously cast onto men.

    I went to a college beach the other day and I legit felt like a fat WHALE, almost every guy out there looked like they were like 0% body fat and nothing but oiled up muscle!

    Ive also heard that over the years male anorexia/bulimia has suddenly become quite a problem with young men due to these pressures.

    Theres really no point to this post...I just find this annoying. I wanna be fit and look good and all that, but im not trying to obsess over every inch of my body. ANyone else notice this? Obviously as gay men, we are probably more concerned than str8 guys (we are trying to attract MEN, who are visual creatures)...but DANG



    Welcome to my life. It's not a recent development. It's been a growing problem for at least the last 20 years.
  • ChilaxinJOCK0...

    Posts: 1513

    May 30, 2012 5:22 AM GMT
    dancerjackWelcome to my life. It's not a recent development. It's been a growing problem for at least the last 20 years.


    I just feel like even for str8 guys in the last decade or so, the pressure has really hit the gAS PEDAL
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    May 30, 2012 5:24 AM GMT
    I can honestly say I felt similar from 16-20 but once I was 26 I was confident and never wasted time on that insecure BS people, men and woman dwell on.
    6"1 Chill still wouldn't kick you outta bed!!
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    May 30, 2012 5:26 AM GMT
    ChilaxinJOCK09 said
    dancerjackWelcome to my life. It's not a recent development. It's been a growing problem for at least the last 20 years.


    I just feel like even for str8 guys in the last decade or so, the pressure has really hit the gAS PEDAL



    yes... that's the influence of media. people sometimes are dismissive of it, but this acceleration began to be particularly pronounced with "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy." it already existed prior to that, but this show put a laser focus on metrosexuality. you can't unring the bell.
  • ChilaxinJOCK0...

    Posts: 1513

    May 30, 2012 5:40 AM GMT
    dancerjack, youre right about that. I sadly also think bullshit like Jersey Shore is influencing guys right now icon_cry.gif
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    May 30, 2012 5:44 AM GMT
    Yes, there is a growing pressure on men to look a certain way. (I don't think the OP has to worry about that.) At the same time, obesity is a growing problem in Western society. It seems like there are people who care too much about their physiques, and there are those who don't care enough.
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    May 30, 2012 5:46 AM GMT
    black/white seems to be a problem in this country when it comes to a variety of topics. american culture is full of extremes, especially right now. though the color choice is unfortunate, we really do need to strive for more of the grays (though i would suggest fuchsia)
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    May 30, 2012 5:48 AM GMT
    ChilaxinJOCK09 saiddancerjack, youre right about that. I sadly also think bullshit like Jersey Shore is influencing guys right now icon_cry.gif

    The guys from jersey shore look old for their respective ages- Don't tell me you would want to look like any of them. Most are NYers anyway.
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    May 30, 2012 5:50 AM GMT
    Fake it till you make it. I always feel like a latino beached whale, but I pretend I'm boss and shit because people like confidence so that's what I give them.
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    May 30, 2012 8:05 AM GMT
    Next stop: Men wearing makeup. I called it.
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    May 30, 2012 8:37 AM GMT
    Movies like Captain America really don't help this problem.
  • CarbGoggles

    Posts: 705

    May 30, 2012 10:13 AM GMT
    LOL I brought this up in another post and totally got booed for it. I def do not have the perfect body but I am happy with my body. It's fully functional, my health is great and I still get morning wood. That being said, I feel like I've sold out because my life revolves around being jacked and tan with a 32" waist (never gonna happen).

    The pressure I feel is really self-inflicted but the pressure is always there. It's so frustrating when the reality is some people don't have to put in nearly half the effort I do yet they get far better results... Genetics are a muthafugga. I don't want to live the rest of my life doing 3-4 hrs of cardio a week on top of lifting and dieting... It just doesn't seem like a normal life. I enjoy working out but it is consuming my life.

    I always wonder what the benefits of having a great body are and what is it worth to me. Having a great body does not equate to prosperity. I know guys with awesome bodies that are dumb as rocks and don't have shit to their name. I know guys who have awful bodies yet they have an engineering degree and are making way more bank than me.

    What's more puzzling is I know that even if I managed to get my dream body, what will it take to maintain it. I'm 32yo and I've been working to get that body since I was 17. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills LOL.
  • amoroushomme

    Posts: 71

    May 30, 2012 10:45 AM GMT
    hummm Yes I have noticed icon_neutral.gif


    and I think it's because of the medias... as you can see... most of the actors in the movies or shows have a nice body


    or they won't get shirtless icon_rolleyes.gif
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    May 30, 2012 11:05 AM GMT
    Lol even worst if you're gay.
  • Cole0505

    Posts: 70

    May 30, 2012 11:25 AM GMT
    I struggle with body image :S, I am skinny as it is and I don't eat enough not on purpose but because I'm afraid of eating to much and gaining weightt I make poor choices when it comes to what food I end upo eating.

    Not eating enough also makes it difficult for me to put on muscle because I barely reach enough for the daily recommended calories let alone any excess.

    I compete in Athletics, AFL and Dance and so have developed decent legs and Core muscles but my arms and shoulders need work, I feel like a friggin Pyramid and wish I had the chest and arms I envy on others. I gym a fair bit in this pursuit but am still struggling to overcome the eating habits I have developed and provide the energy and building blocks to achieve my goals.

    icon_neutral.gificon_neutral.gif
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    May 30, 2012 11:34 AM GMT
    I have mixed feelings about this topic. On the one hand, it can be mighty confrontational at the gym when a 20 something is absolutely smoking through a workout that I will never be able to do, and inhabiting a body that I'll never have (at 49, that there ship done sailed). The same is true at the beach and at athletic events I go to.

    I'm not the best, never was and never will be.

    But on the other hand, if I focus too much on that, I miss the guy in the wheelchair who is doing what he can ... or the stroke victim who is walking around the track clapping her hands in an effort to regain function ... or the 300 pound guy who is there making those first few steps.

    I can't control what the media does and I sure as hell can't control the force of time and gravity. What I can control is my focus and my attitude.

    I can only try to be the best me I can be, and do it for myself. And be grateful.

    And I say that not to lecture you, but remind myself.
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    May 30, 2012 11:40 AM GMT
    i think its resulted in a similar but opposite dynamic as anorexia / bulimia, but its more expressed as body dysmorphic disorder and specifically muscle dysmorphia in men, where they have the perception that they are too skinny.

    you see a lot of guys taking steroids now, not to enhance performance for any kind of sport, but just to look like a model/bodybuilder. we had a lot of problems with steroids in south africa, because they are unregulated.

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