Leaving New York. Never thought it would happen.

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    Jun 01, 2012 3:08 AM GMT
    I've been remiss about sharing my blog posts here. I thought I'd share the latest one, though. It contains big news.

    Leaving Home

    I have written before about some of the ways in which this journey has changed me. When I left New York, I expected to return a better man. What I didn’t expect was not to return. Yet now it has become clear that I won’t. I am moving to Texas.

    New York is expensive. Everybody knows that. Even New Yorkers know that. I expect to finish my trip to Los Angeles in July. After that, I’ll be trading “How’ston” for “Hew’ston.” This decision is not one I took lightly. New York is my home, and always will be. The past year has proven that my heart will always be there. I’m reminded of it everywhere I go, and I have come to be convinced that it is, indeed, America’s city. It captures the essence of our country, and for that, I love it. But it is not the right place for me to be at this point in life.

    For years, I have put up with high rents and small spaces because everything the city has to offer made it worth it. Now, I’m ready to start a family. The introspection that the hours of lonesome walking forced upon me has revealed that I want nothing more in this world than to be a father. That will be my next journey, and as a single gay man, I know the price to get there will be high. Literally. I will have to spend tens of thousands of dollars just to get a baby, whether I adopt or hire a surrogate. I repeat, I love New York, but I will never be able to save enough money there, and I don’t love it enough to give up this dream.

    My decision to leave New York, my home, is deliberate. My new choice of residence is as well. I love the countryside, and have come to appreciate the charm of living in a small town. But I’m a man made for the city. Tall buildings inspire me more than green mountains, and I find the sound of cars moving more soothing than that of flowing water.

    I considered several states. The fact that Texas is one of the few in the union that doesn’t charge an income tax was a big draw—again, saving money is my number one priority in the near future. I also fell in love with the culture and the food. Houston won out over other Texas cities because it has a strong economy with a healthy job market, cheap rents, opera, and Major League Baseball. Don’t think, incidentally, that I didn’t take into account the fact that the Astros are moving to the American League next year—which means the Yankees will visit, allowing me to continue to proclaim my New Yorkness, deep in the heart of Texas.

    I apologize to my readers for the personal nature of this post, but you have been a part of this journey, and I thought it right to share this news. I will miss New York, but I know I will visit often. And someday, I will move back—even if I have to wait until I’m a 70-year-old retiree. For now, Texas and my dreams are calling. So let the new adventure begin. Yeehaw!

    Texas-flag-e1338511879937.jpg
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    Jun 01, 2012 3:11 AM GMT
    Northern Virginia isn't good enough for you? icon_sad.gif

    Good luck with the new life! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jun 01, 2012 3:27 AM GMT
    DudeInNOVA saidNorthern Virginia isn't good enough for you? icon_sad.gif

    Good luck with the new life! icon_biggrin.gif

    I lived in Alexandria for a year, back in the day... The problem with Northern Virginia is that it's too close to DC. I lived there 5 years. That was enough. icon_smile.gif
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    Jun 01, 2012 3:31 AM GMT
    beautiful icon_biggrin.gif best of luck my friend!
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    Jun 01, 2012 3:36 AM GMT
    19c79 saidI have written before about some of the ways in which this journey has changed me. When I left New York, I expected to return a better man. What I didn’t expect was not to return. Yet now it has become clear that I won’t. I am moving to Texas.

    One's journey through life can be strange. I never thought I would leave northern New Jersey, just 25 miles west of NYC. My family had lived there for over 300 years, I always assumed I would continue the tradition.

    But then I joined the Army, and the choice was no longer mine. I lived in Texas, Georgia, Alabama, Arkansas, Washington State, North Dakota, etc. And each time I was reassigned I thought to myself: "I never dreamed I would one day live in San Antonio."

    Or Little Rock, or Seattle, or Berlin, Germany, or North Dakota, or any of those places I never could have imagined I'd one day live. But I did.

    After a while where I lived no longer really mattered. And I'll probably never return to New Jersey (who in their right mind would?), the last of my "line" to have lived there, ending a history going back to the 1600s.

    But yah know, what does that matter? Nothing, really.

    As for Texas, I lived there 4 years. Not a friendly place for gays, depending on where you are. Houston can be OK, Austin so-so. But overall the State's laws are very gay hostile.

    If you acquire a BF or partner, see a gay-friendly lawyer to draw-up legal documents to protect you & him. Otherwise you will run afoul of State laws that will bar you from his hospital bedside, or him yours, should either of you become hospitalized.

    And you can be evicted from a rental property for being gay, and fired from your job. You won't be able to sue, it's all legal under Texas law.

    So be aware of what you're getting into.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Jun 01, 2012 3:44 AM GMT
    Dude, im actualy sitting in a Houston hotel as I type this and as I read your post. . .


    my first time to this city. I'm here for work, but only for a few days.

    Good choice man! I like it so far, tho its fucking hot as balls, but whatever. That's what air conditioning is for.


    Anyway, Good luck in Houston. I like the stately nature of some of the houses here. Tho, you'll forever be a yankee to most Texans.

    god bless texas...or god bless tay-x-us
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    Jun 01, 2012 4:45 AM GMT
    Good for you! I'm actually from Houston, and if my mother has her way, I will be visiting sometime soon (that bitch).

    Houston is a great town. But it's not the place I would choose for a 20 something gay guy trying to live a 24 hour lifestyle. Despite the Texas stereotypes, Houston is a pretty liberal place. I mean, we elected an openly lesbian mayor a few years ago. Few cities our size can claim that.

    I tell people all the time it is more like a place to raise a family. I graduated high school in the suburbs of Houston, Cypress-Fairbanks area. I know it is still along ways off, but the Cy-Fair area has some of the best schools in the country. The Woodlands area wouldn't also be a bad place to raise a family. It is a little out of the way, but that whole neighborhood is beautiful.

    Wherever life takes you, good luck!!!!
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jun 01, 2012 6:06 AM GMT
    relocate to austin
  • metta

    Posts: 39079

    Jun 01, 2012 6:18 AM GMT
    Good luck with your move...I hope that it offers you everything that you wanted.

    Make sure to pick an area to live that has the best school district, preferably near an excellent college/university (liberal arts even better). They are usually better educated areas which statistically tends to be more supportive of the glbt community.
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    Jun 01, 2012 6:45 AM GMT
    Good luck on your move.

    Expect some culture shock and growing pains adjusting to Texas once the novelty wears off.

    People may be friendly to your face but talk bad about you behind your back. Yankees refer to this as backstabbing. Southerners consider it being polite.

    And if you ever encounter a situation that you find strange, never say "Are you kidding me here? This would never happen in New York." A true Texan will say, "then why dont u go back?"

    Welcome to Texas!
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    Jun 01, 2012 9:05 AM GMT
    Good luck to you man! I'm visiting Houston now and while it is a warm and nice city, I'd be concerned about raising a child here because of its relatively conservative nature.

    I'm inclined to think that kids with two dads or moms will be more comfortable and less stigmatized in cities like NY or LA where people are more open-minded. A single gay dad may be an even tougher sell. Have you thought about how you'll handle the discomforting social moments that you and your future kids are sure to encounter?
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    Jun 01, 2012 9:43 AM GMT
    Texas? I never pictured you being a masochist, but to each his own.
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    Jun 01, 2012 10:38 AM GMT
    You're on an amazing adventure! Too bad for New York, but here's hoping you have a wonderful life in Texas.
  • ja89

    Posts: 789

    Jun 01, 2012 10:53 AM GMT
    calibro saidrelocate to austin


    I co-sign with this idea...I'm personally not a fan of Houston (maybe because I wasn't able to see the richer side until i was a senior in hs). There are definitely 2 different worlds out there, if you ever need to escape the conservatives start driving towards Humble and you will see the different side.

    For me Austin is my home. That city has almost everything for me to do what you're wanting to do. I'm not quite ready for that just yet so I'm still bouncing around the world until I am.

    I hope you find Houston to be a gem, if not explore Austin it's less than a 2 hour drive away so you can still go to the baseball games and such (a little more artsy and 'green' than houston).
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    Jun 01, 2012 11:09 AM GMT
    Why do the Lesbian mayors get all the hot guys?

    As always you are truly inspirational and I can't wait to here about your move; plenty of us pulling for you.
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    Jun 01, 2012 11:48 AM GMT
    Good luck with your new endeavor, and I hope this only enriches your life. Hope you Love and Happiness there.
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    Jun 01, 2012 2:49 PM GMT
    Thanks, guys. It was not an easy decision, but what I want from life has become abundantly clear, and at this point it's a matter of keeping my priorities straight in order to make it happen.

    jmusmc85 saidHouston is a great town. But it's not the place I would choose for a 20 something gay guy trying to live a 24 hour lifestyle.

    That's why I think it's a good place for me now. icon_biggrin.gif Thanks for the tips about schools. That's still a good six or seven years off, but I'll keep it in mind, because the day will definitely come. Let me know when you visit!

    Import saidTho, you'll forever be a yankee to most Texans.

    I know I will, and my wearing my Yankees hat and Mariano Rivera jersey won't help one bit. icon_lol.gif

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    Jun 01, 2012 2:58 PM GMT
    JPtheBITCH saidThe only thing I will say is that there is a lot of the country that isn't Texas but also isn't New York or LA.

    Just sayin'.


    lol, QFT.

    But to each their own, I dont think being gay needs to dictate where you live, and truth be told the less educated parts of the country can use good gay men as role models of who they hurt.

    Thats just my 2 cents though.
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    Jun 01, 2012 3:01 PM GMT
    I lived in NYC for 12 years. Once of the attractions of LA was the lower cost of living. I have often thought about moving to Texas. But given what I do for a living, finding a job would be difficult. I do plan on retiring there.
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    Jun 01, 2012 4:24 PM GMT
    southbeach1500 said
    Art_Deco said

    As for Texas, I lived there 4 years. Not a friendly place for gays, depending on where you are. Houston can be OK, Austin so-so. But overall the State's laws are very gay hostile.


    Please disregard the usual paranoia from the "Lieutenant Colonel" - and congratulations on your move to Texas!


    I think everyone knows by now that Art Deco is ape-shit crazy. We really dont need you following him around to tell us so.
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    Jun 01, 2012 4:36 PM GMT
    southbeach1500 said
    Art_Deco said

    As for Texas, I lived there 4 years. Not a friendly place for gays, depending on where you are. Houston can be OK, Austin so-so. But overall the State's laws are very gay hostile.


    Please disregard the usual paranoia from the "Lieutenant Colonel" - and congratulations on your move to Texas!


    Don't be an asshat. I am from Texas and he is absolutely correct, the laws of the state are batshit crazy anti-gay and the social climate - outside of the big cities - can be stultifying. You can find a good life there but the warning should be heeded.

    EDIT: PS, good luck and happy trails to the OP!!!
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    Jun 01, 2012 4:47 PM GMT
    interesting that - i've just started exploring moving out of NYC as well. I have viewed several properties in VA specifically Arlington and Alexandria. Just say a 3 level brand new townhouse 2200 Sqft for $514K in Alexandria that I am contemplating.

    the week before that i saw a studio in manhattan for $514K and 400sqft. icon_twisted.gif
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    Jun 01, 2012 4:48 PM GMT
    showme said
    southbeach1500 said
    Art_Deco said

    As for Texas, I lived there 4 years. Not a friendly place for gays, depending on where you are. Houston can be OK, Austin so-so. But overall the State's laws are very gay hostile.


    Please disregard the usual paranoia from the "Lieutenant Colonel" - and congratulations on your move to Texas!


    Don't be an asshat. I am from Texas and he is absolutely correct, the laws of the state are batshit crazy anti-gay and the social climate - outside of the big cities - can be stultifying. You can find a good life there but the warning should be heeded.

    EDIT: PS, good luck and happy trails to the OP!!!


    +1. SB often talks about things he has no clue about.

    @SB- what part of Texas do you live?
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    Jun 01, 2012 4:51 PM GMT
    catfish5 said
    showme said
    southbeach1500 said
    Art_Deco said

    As for Texas, I lived there 4 years. Not a friendly place for gays, depending on where you are. Houston can be OK, Austin so-so. But overall the State's laws are very gay hostile.


    Please disregard the usual paranoia from the "Lieutenant Colonel" - and congratulations on your move to Texas!



    EDIT: PS, good luck and happy trails to the OP!!!


    +1. SB often talks about things he has no clue about.

    @SB- what part of Texas do you live?


    i thought he only did this on the tax code
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    Jun 01, 2012 4:52 PM GMT
    Blackguy4you saidinteresting that - i've just started exploring moving out of NYC as well. I have viewed several properties in VA specifically Arlington and Alexandria. Just say a 3 level brand new townhouse 2200 Sqft for $514K in Alexandria that I am contemplating.

    the week before that i saw a studio in manhattan for $514K and 400sqft. icon_twisted.gif


    Half a mil is still an insane amount of money to pay for 2200sqft, but I guess it's all relative.