IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU!!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2012 3:11 AM GMT
    I just heard from a friend about this video...a gay couple who unfortunately did not have it their way at the end! It is so sad sad, upsetting but at the same time inspiring. Maybe some of you already watched it but if you have not....GO TO YOUTUBE and type...."IT COULD APPEN TO YOU" ....made me want to be more involved! I am just shocked at the kind of hatred and ignorance that we still face in this day and age! icon_sad.gif

    What do you guys think?

    Here is the link too:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pR9gyloyOjM

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2012 3:39 AM GMT
    veneblue saidI just heard from a friend about this video...a gay couple who unfortunately did not have it their way at the end! It is so sad sad, upsetting but at the same time inspiring. Maybe some of you already watched it but if you have not....GO TO YOUTUBE and type...."IT COULD APPEN TO YOU" ....made me want to be more involved! I am just shocked at the kind of hatred and ignorance that we still face in this day and age! icon_sad.gif

    What do you guys think?

    Here is the link too:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pR9gyloyOjM

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pR9gyloyOjM

    Outstanding! 2.5 million views in less than three weeks!

    Geezer (freedomisntfree).. I hold YOU personally accountable.icon_wink.gif
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    Jun 01, 2012 4:41 AM GMT
    WOW! I'm crying. I think all of us must be. My own story:

    My late partner Tom told me this story. I only have his word for it.

    His own late partner cheated, and contracted HIV. In turn he infected my Tom, who had no idea his partner was poz.

    When AIDS developed my Tom took care of his partner, who had no medical insurance. Tom went bankrupt with the costs. And the last year was very bad, his partner going into dimentia and becoming very difficult. His family never came by, didn't provide any assistance or money in any way. Only Tom was there to care for him 24/7.

    When the partner died his family stepped in and claimed the body, made the funeral arrangements. They barred Tom from the funeral. They even blamed my future partner for having infected their relative, though the opposite was true.

    A few weeks after the funeral Tom came home from work and found a moving van in front of his house. The mother was there, with a court order, authorizing her to take the contents of the house, which she claimed were her late son's. The house was stripped of everything, regardless of who had bought what, and even some of Tom's clothes were seized. He was left with what would fit in a suitcase.

    Years later Tom himself suddenly fell into dementia, literally overnight, when he & I had become partners. We hadn't drawn any legal documents, talking about it but always procrastinating.

    I took him to the ER, and just blustered my way to stay with him. But after 3 days in the hospital the doctors told me they had to have some legal standing from me to continue to be there. The horror of being barred from my partner's bedside confronted me.

    Luckily my best friend was the President of our State's Equality chapter. He put me in touch with a gay-friendly lawyer in the largest law firm in the State. She got me an emergency court order in 3 days, that would ordinarily take 3 months.

    Now I was my partner's legal Guardian. I was able to stay by his side for the next 5 weeks, and make all decisions for him. The doctors actually had to request my permission to take him off life support, when all hope for him was gone. That was more than tough, if you've never gone through that. He died in my arms, at 1:30 in the morning. I pray none of you ever have to face that.

    So OK, 3 years later I move in with my current partner. And the first thing I insist we do is draw up legal documents for us that will work in a Red State (Florida). And I don't mess around, I get a gay attorney who's the Deputy Mayor of Fort Lauderdale. I figure he's gonna draft bullet-proof documents for us.

    And they have been. My partner & I have since been through all kinds of medical emergencies: heart attacks, stroke, cancer, major surgery. etc. And no one has ever denied either of us access to the other, nor the ability to make decisions when one of us was incapacitated.

    I strongly recommend you consider drawing such documents for yourselves. Even if you are legally married in one State, DOMA says other States don't have to honor it. So draw these documents.

    We have separate legal portfolios, that we carry in our luggage when we travel. Mine authorizes him, and his authorizes me. If some mishap occurs away from home these legal documents are at hand.

    I will never face the horror of being barred from my partner in a hospital again.
  • Karl

    Posts: 5787

    Jun 01, 2012 4:47 AM GMT
    ya I just watched this last month and I was crying.
    How could people can act like that.
    Let their son live with a gay guy in happiness/Lose him forever. What did they choose ?
    Indeed icon_sad.gif It could happen to me.
    Thanks for sharing this.
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    Jun 01, 2012 4:57 AM GMT
    Gotta get some tissues now :""(
  • Karl

    Posts: 5787

    Jun 01, 2012 4:58 AM GMT
    Lash saidGotta get some tissues now :""(

    facial-tissues-13.jpg
  • dfrourke

    Posts: 1062

    Jun 01, 2012 5:58 AM GMT
    I have to admit, I saw this a few weeks ago...just happened to run across it before going to work...I had to come in late...I was a wreck for about 30 minutes...really tragic story...and all too common...

    - David icon_neutral.gif
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    Jun 01, 2012 7:02 AM GMT
    Feels very familiar. My late friend was estranged from his homophobic family. The ashes went to them, and they were meant to be spread over his mother's grave but I'll never know if they were. Might have gone straight into the trash. They too acted like they'd keep in touch, but it was a fleeting moment of compassion that existed only in the shock of hearing the news.

    It's ridiculous how strict the laws are after someone dies. Parents have all the rights, and no other important details are considered.

    To anyone with a rocky relationship with their parents, or anyone in a serious relationship... MAKE A WILL. SET A DUE DATE. Call your bank up and ask what options they have for transferring your bank account to someone when you die. Notarize your wishes. Even if your family and partner and friends get along, you will be saving them guilty feelings about talking about your money and belongings when it's taboo.

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    Jun 01, 2012 8:27 AM GMT
    I don't want to sound like an advertisement or anything like that - but this is why it is so important for everyone to have a will and possibly a medical directive in place in the event something unexpected like this happens.

    If you don't want to see an attorney - you can self-write what's called a "holographic" will. I would at least have it notarized and witnessed - because those are harder to prove than an actual legal will prepared by an attorney. I know that's the last thing a young couple wants to think about, but it's going to start to become more and more important as this battle over marriage and family gets more heated.

    Sorry to derail the thread, but that is my soap box.

    This story is so tragic. icon_cry.gif
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Jun 01, 2012 9:42 AM GMT
    I agree with ConQuest.

    Protect yourselves and your loved ones. If you share a business, a mortgage and a life - then get a will. You can download one from the internet.

    I think you are also allowed to say how you'd like to be buried/cremated/sent off also.

    This is especially important if your family don't approve of your lifestyle. Because, as this sad story says, they will act like complete c*nts.

    It's horrible how cruel supposedly 'Christian' people behave. I don't believe in God or Christ, but from my knowledge of the Bible and New Testament, I'm sure Jesus would be horrified how his followers now behave.

    Loz
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    Jun 01, 2012 11:43 AM GMT
    Death is not an issue for me, and I think I would like to do it alone anyhow; I think thats why I have been very clear in my will that there is to be no funeral of any kind for me. But then I also deal with death all the time in my job too, and I well know life goes on. It also allows one to put more focus on my life while I am living and not dying and dead.

    While one was to writing this, I was also funny enough watching Seven Ponds.
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    Jun 01, 2012 11:54 AM GMT
    karl3s said
    Lash saidGotta get some tissues now :""(

    facial-tissues-13.jpg
    That was heart wrenching to watch. That poor guy must feel so all alone. icon_cry.gificon_cry.gificon_cry.gif
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    Jun 01, 2012 2:39 PM GMT
    I cried too, but most of all I was just so upset at how some people can disregard somebody's feelings and treat others they way Shane was treated. Ignorance and intolerance are definitely a huge factor amongst us still. Sucks!!

    Hopefully Karma does exist and Tom's family will learn their lesson for their horrible actions!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 02, 2012 2:37 AM GMT
    MAN that's bad publicity for the in-laws. 2.5 million people now hate them. He should have posted their address so people can flood them with angry letters!
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    Jun 03, 2012 4:14 AM GMT
    Bump.

    Just to make sure all who see this understand that http://www.realjock.com/freedomisntfree Voted FOR the law that allowed this to happen.. and is proud of that voteicon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 03, 2012 5:06 AM GMT
    Heartbreaking icon_cry.gif

    EqualLoveEqualRights
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    Jun 11, 2012 3:20 AM GMT
    I sobbed each of the four times I watched it. icon_cry.gif
    I sent it to each of my family members with a thank you for being the accepting people they are.
    I must say that the music helped open the tear flood gates.icon_cry.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 11, 2012 3:39 AM GMT
    Thanks for the link! It really give people a personal reflection about the controversial issues today.

    It was really hard for me to watch it. Just like how he feels powerless, I felt powerless not being able to help. icon_cry.gif