Can too much sex be a bad thing?

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    Jun 01, 2012 4:48 PM GMT
    A straight guy might be jealous at just how easy it is to get sex if you’re a gay man. Gay men are constantly offering their bodies to the hottest profile pic that logged in within the last 20 minutes (as long as they’re within about 2,000 feet). It seems a silly notion to question “Why this obsession with sex?”, but I intend to ask it anyways.

    So… Why this obsession?

    When I first came out, I was telling another gay man how I had never had sex. He asked me “How do you know that you’re gay, if you’ve never had sex?” I didn’t then, and I still don’t know why we give so much credit to sex. I’m not gay because I want to get off with another man, as opposed to a woman. My “gayness” came as a feeling, a longing, a desire to connect with another man; to share my life with him; to have him hold me; love me. Sure I have a physical attraction to men, and sure I have sexual desires… and combining that all has the potential to roll into something beautiful and intimate.

    But that kind of love, that kind of sex, that kind of intimacy is not what I see prevalent within the gay community. It turns into a game, a conquest, a need to quench a thirst that never seems to go away. Within time, the intimacy is lost. Love is replaced with lust. Compassion is replaced with your own carnal desires. Passion is replaced with aggression. Then we start to describe ourselves and others as a “bottom”, a “top”, “8.5 inches uncut” instead of as someone who is “caring”, “adventurous”, or “honest.”

    What’s the harm?

    Sex isn’t the problem… sex is awesome! However, I think that we can abuse it. When sex becomes more about “me” then it is about “them” or “us”, I think we’ve gone to far. When sex becomes the end goal instead of an expression of the way we feel it means that sex has replaced intimacy, rather than enhancing it. Then we forget the virtues, characteristics, and qualities we once sought for ourselves and others, and instead debase ourselves and others into a set of stats.

    What do you think?
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    Jun 01, 2012 4:57 PM GMT
    I think too many words can be a bad thing.
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    Jun 01, 2012 5:22 PM GMT
    smartmoney saidI think too many words can be a bad thing.



    I too forgot what the point was....
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    Jun 01, 2012 7:07 PM GMT
    jbinchlt said
    smartmoney saidI think too many words can be a bad thing.



    I too forgot what the point was....

    hahaha so true
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    Jun 01, 2012 10:09 PM GMT
    heyimdan saidblah


    Nice read! I basically agree with the things you pointed out. But when it gets down to it, I just really don't give a shit about other people. They can do what they want and I will stick with what suits me best.

    I could do without the stereotype though. Leaves a bad taste. But I can deal with it.
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    Jun 04, 2012 7:04 PM GMT
    You can never have too much sex.
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    Jun 04, 2012 7:41 PM GMT
    DOMINUS saidYou can never have too much sex.

    Not with you, you can't. And you're right in my age bracket! icon_biggrin.gif