Struggling to date!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 01, 2012 7:22 PM GMT
    Anyone find the amount of men willing to date hugely under those wanting to hook up? All I wanna do is go for a few pints.. or a meal.. or the odd laserzone sesh, but this seems somewhat of a holy grail, and coming from a place that has a strong gay presence I find it kinda sad.. still this hopeless romantic will potter on.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 01, 2012 7:30 PM GMT
    I think there are a ton of guys who are looking for the same thing as you. Sadly, they're harder to find. Even worse, a lot of guys will claim that this is what they want, only to have it be revealed that they aren't actually capable of "just dating".

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 01, 2012 10:21 PM GMT
    CharlieDarwin88 saidAnyone find the amount of men willing to date hugely under those wanting to hook up? All I wanna do is go for a few pints.. or a meal.. or the odd laserzone sesh, but this seems somewhat of a holy grail, and coming from a place that has a strong gay presence I find it kinda sad.. still this hopeless romantic will potter on.


    I hear ya man. I'm not even necessarily looking to date at this point--just hang out as friends, and gradually see where it leads over time. Everyone seems to want to screw around right away. While that's cool for some people, it's not for me. I'd much prefer quality than quantity.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 01, 2012 10:40 PM GMT
    ^^ I looked at all 3 of your guys' profiles not one of you specified the kind of guy/relationship you are looking for.
    In the words of Aunt Semla, "If you want to catch the right mouse, you've got to have the right kind of cheese"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 01, 2012 10:45 PM GMT
    The funny thing is there is no shortage of guys complaining about the lack of a love life/dating life and yet somehow all of those guys seem to bypass each other... if you're online try a legit dating site and if you wanna meet someone the old fashioned way join a sports league or network through your friends and I'm sure you'll find someone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 01, 2012 10:46 PM GMT
    Alot of dudes want to make sure the sex is good before they invest the time into dating. If you are unwilling to hookup first, u lose alot of potential dates.

    We arent women here trying to protect the sacred garden. Y not put out? Just sit back, relax and enjoy. U have nothing to lose.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 01, 2012 10:48 PM GMT
    catfish5 saidAlot of dudes want to make sure the sex is good before they invest the time into dating. If you are unwilling to hookup first, u lose alot of potential dates.

    We arent women here trying to protect the sacred garden. Y not put out? Just sit back, relax and enjoy. U have nothing to lose.


    And if you can't muster that, just lie back and think of England.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 01, 2012 10:48 PM GMT
    So the only way to find a good date is to put out to anyone who wants it? icon_eek.gif

    ***stunned silence***
  • turtleneckjoc...

    Posts: 4685

    Jun 01, 2012 10:57 PM GMT
    I know where you are coming from. The pool of available single gay guys my age in Orlando is literally.......

    empty_swimming_pool.jpg


  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 01, 2012 10:58 PM GMT
    DudeInNOVA saidSo the only way to find a good date is to put out to anyone who wants it? icon_eek.gif

    ***stunned silence***


    Not acting like a prudish old maid terrified at seeing dick helps too
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 01, 2012 11:00 PM GMT
    catfish5 saidAlot of dudes want to make sure the sex is good before they invest the time into dating. If you are unwilling to hookup first, u lose alot of potential dates.

    We arent women here trying to protect the sacred garden. Y not put out? Just sit back, relax and enjoy. U have nothing to lose.



    Like taking one bite out of each chocolate in a box until you find the one you like?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 01, 2012 11:04 PM GMT
    Iceblink said
    catfish5 saidAlot of dudes want to make sure the sex is good before they invest the time into dating. If you are unwilling to hookup first, u lose alot of potential dates.

    We arent women here trying to protect the sacred garden. Y not put out? Just sit back, relax and enjoy. U have nothing to lose.



    Like taking one bite out of each chocolate in a box until you find the one you like?


    Yes. If u find the dark chocolate curls your toes, stick with that one.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 01, 2012 11:22 PM GMT
    catfish5 saidNot acting like a prudish old maid terrified at seeing dick helps too


    Because......anyone who wants more out of a relationship than just sex must be a prude? icon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 01, 2012 11:24 PM GMT
    DudeInNOVA said
    catfish5 saidNot acting like a prudish old maid terrified at seeing dick helps too


    Because......anyone who wants more out of a relationship than just sex must be a prude? icon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gif


    Because anyone who wants to make sure they are sexually compatible b4 dating isnt always just looking for sex.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 01, 2012 11:28 PM GMT
    catfish5 saidBecause anyone who wants to make sure they are sexually compatible b4 dating isnt always just looking for sex.


    What does that have to do with what the OP is looking for?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 01, 2012 11:34 PM GMT
    DudeInNOVA said
    catfish5 saidBecause anyone who wants to make sure they are sexually compatible b4 dating isnt always just looking for sex.


    What does that have to do with what the OP is looking for?


    Hes looking for romance but cant find it. Sometimes u have to try things outside of your safety net to find it.

    Lots of dudes end up having LTRs after meeting on hookup sites. Not uncommon. Once the sexual tension is out of the way, its alot easier to get to know someone
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 01, 2012 11:36 PM GMT
    My solution for this; normalize your sexuality into your normal everyday/week routine. Have more time with gay friends, make more gay friends, and be whoever you are in a relaxed setting with a guy in public, minus the flirting and PDA; if it's a bother to you. I think the only way to bet around the problem of guys not wanting to date; is to get them all passed the point of fearing being in public together for any other reason. Together, we're stronger than any small group or individual alone can be; and better for OURSELVES as A WHOLE.
  • ac416

    Posts: 273

    Jun 01, 2012 11:36 PM GMT
    catfish5 saidAlot of dudes want to make sure the sex is good before they invest the time into dating. If you are unwilling to hookup first, u lose alot of potential dates.

    We arent women here trying to protect the sacred garden. Y not put out? Just sit back, relax and enjoy. U have nothing to lose.


    So true! Gotta know the chemistry works in the bedroom before i want to commit to them. And have dated guys and become bf's after an amazing first night so it works for me,
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 01, 2012 11:41 PM GMT
    catfish5 saidHes looking for romance but cant find it. Sometimes u have to try things outside of your safety net to find it.

    Lots of dudes end up having LTRs after meeting on hookup sites. Not uncommon. Once the sexual tension is out of the way, its alot easier to get to know someone


    So the OP, who is looking for a romantic relationship, should try hooking up on the off chance that he might find someone he likes? That might work for you, but he doesn't sound like the type of guy who would be into that. Sexual compatibility is only one of many aspects of forming a relationship. I, for one, have no problem getting to know someone without feeling sexual tension.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 01, 2012 11:45 PM GMT
    DudeInNOVA said
    catfish5 saidHes looking for romance but cant find it. Sometimes u have to try things outside of your safety net to find it.

    Lots of dudes end up having LTRs after meeting on hookup sites. Not uncommon. Once the sexual tension is out of the way, its alot easier to get to know someone


    So the OP, who is looking for a romantic relationship, should try hooking up on the off chance that he might find someone he likes? That might work for you, but he doesn't sound like the type of guy who would be into that. Sexual compatibility is only one of many aspects of forming a relationship. I, for one, have no problem getting to know someone without feeling sexual tension.
    Two different schools of thought. This is what polarizes guys in our community in some ways. There needs to be some common ground, at least for like minded Date minded guys, to meet each other.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 01, 2012 11:45 PM GMT
    DudeInNOVA said
    catfish5 saidHes looking for romance but cant find it. Sometimes u have to try things outside of your safety net to find it.

    Lots of dudes end up having LTRs after meeting on hookup sites. Not uncommon. Once the sexual tension is out of the way, its alot easier to get to know someone


    So the OP, who is looking for a romantic relationship, should try hooking up on the off chance that he might find someone he likes? That might work for you, but he doesn't sound like the type of guy who would be into that. Sexual compatibility is only one of many aspects of forming a relationship. I, for one, have no problem getting to know someone without feeling sexual tension.


    So let me ask, is his current way of finding dates working for him? Sometimes u have to stop kicking the dead horse.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 01, 2012 11:47 PM GMT
    I had a random hookup that turned into an 18 years and counting relationship. It can happen when you're totally not looking for it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 01, 2012 11:49 PM GMT
    JoyfullyRandom saidTwo different schools of thought. This is what polarizes guys in our community in some ways. There needs to be some common ground, at least for like minded Date minded guys, to meet each other.


    I have no problem with people looking for different things. What I find strange is that people who are more sex-oriented complain about how people criticize their lifestyle, and then when a relationship-oriented person comes along, they criticize them in the exact same way. People have different needs, and everyone should stop trying to make everyone else try to do what works for them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 01, 2012 11:51 PM GMT
    catfish5 saidSo let me ask, is his current way of finding dates working for him? Sometimes u have to stop kicking the dead horse.


    There's no guarantee that your way will work either. If anything, it's less likely to work because he'll probably end up being with people who are only looking for sex. People who are relationship-oriented usually don't get any satisfaction from casual sexual encounters. In fact, it may make them feel worse because it highlights how empty they feel without a satisfying emotional relationship. If that's not the type of guy you are, you may not understand that, and there's nothing wrong with that. But it's usually futile to try to make someone live a lifestyle that works for you, not them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 01, 2012 11:51 PM GMT
    I think they are all just lying sacks of shit. They all say no hookups, but won't go out on a date. How do they they you're supposed to get to know each other if you don't spend some time together?

    ...just saying