More tales of socially inept internet interactions: Guys who want to go out with you, but want YOU to ask THEM out.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2012 9:25 PM GMT
    Have you ever interacted through email with a guy who obviously wants to go out with you, but who want YOU to ask THEM out, and they simply refuse to ask themselves? Jesus it is the stupidest, most moronic thing.

    Personal example (non RJ-related).

    Guy emailing me: "Wow man! *insert compliments here*"
    Me: Thanks! Likewise! Hope you're doing great.
    Guy: You too! I'm gonna be in San Diego next week ;)
    Me: Oh? What brings you here?"
    Guy: Work.
    Me: Well it's good timing, the weather's been amazing here the last few days, so hope you enjoy some time outside.
    Guy: Thanks.

    END OF CONVERSATION. WTF was that?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2012 9:27 PM GMT
    Did I miss something when I was in SD the other week?

    I'm sorry, M. I should have asked you to come join me at El Fuente.

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    Jun 01, 2012 9:30 PM GMT
    Ariodante saidHave you ever interacted through email with a guy who obviously wants to go out with you, but who want YOU to ask THEM out, and they simply refuse to ask themselves? Jesus it is the stupidest, most moronic thing.

    Personal example (non RJ-related).

    Guy emailing me: "Wow man! *insert compliments here*"
    Me: Thanks! Likewise! Hope you're doing great.
    Guy: You too! I'm gonna be in San Diego next week ;)
    Me: Oh? What brings you here?"
    Guy: Work.
    Me: Well it's good timing, the weather's been amazing here the last few days, so hope you enjoy some time outside.
    Guy: Thanks.

    END OF CONVERSATION. WTF was that?


    Maybe he was just going to ask you out but after the exchange of emails, lost interest?
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Jun 01, 2012 9:38 PM GMT
    Ariodante saidHave you ever interacted through email with a guy who obviously wants to go out with you, but who want YOU to ask THEM out, and they simply refuse to ask themselves? Jesus it is the stupidest, most moronic thing.

    Personal example (non RJ-related).

    Guy emailing me: "Wow man! *insert compliments here*"
    Me: Thanks! Likewise! Hope you're doing great.
    Guy: You too! I'm gonna be in San Diego next week ;)
    Me: Oh? What brings you here?"
    Guy: Work.
    Me: Well it's good timing, the weather's been amazing here the last few days, so hope you enjoy some time outside.
    Guy: Thanks.

    END OF CONVERSATION. WTF was that?


    Haha I've had a few of those. I just assume that these types of emails are geared towards sex more so than going on a date per se. They probably wan't you to respond with something like "so what are you into?" or "what are you looking for?" but they are too unsure of how you'd react if they were to lead with that question.
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    Jun 01, 2012 9:46 PM GMT
    GAMRican saidDid I miss something when I was in SD the other week?



    Oh you didn't miss anything A, my life has pretty much always been this consistent =D
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2012 10:43 PM GMT
    #HotGuyProblems

    icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2012 10:44 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidicon_sad.gif

    And now we know why. icon_smile.gif


    Hey I wasn't online in the past hour =o Yes I will go out with you =D
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    Jun 01, 2012 10:48 PM GMT
    Ariodante saidHave you ever interacted through email with a guy who obviously wants to go out with you, but who want YOU to ask THEM out, and they simply refuse to ask themselves? Jesus it is the stupidest, most moronic thing.

    Personal example (non RJ-related).

    Guy emailing me: "Wow man! *insert compliments here*"
    Me: Thanks! Likewise! Hope you're doing great.
    Guy: You too! I'm gonna be in San Diego next week ;)
    Me: Oh? What brings you here?"
    Guy: Work.
    Me: Well it's good timing, the weather's been amazing here the last few days, so hope you enjoy some time outside.
    Guy: Thanks.

    END OF CONVERSATION. WTF was that?


    He was obviously assuming that you would not be interested in meeting.. was intimidated enough to not just go the full length and ask you if you wanted "Coffee or a beer?" but not intimidated enough to initiate contact. For me i'd shrug and kind of think he was a wimp. He was residing in a half interested/ half not interested enough to take the leap area. Which will instantly annoy you as much as i'm sure it annoys him. But in his mind, if you do not hear from him again.. he'll make you out to be the "villain". He subconsciously set it up that way.
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1167

    Jun 01, 2012 10:50 PM GMT
    TheBizMan saidHaha I've had a few of those. I just assume that these types of emails are geared towards sex more so than going on a date per se. They probably wan't you to respond with something like "so what are you into?" or "what are you looking for?" but they are too unsure of how you'd react if they were to lead with that question.


    Hmm interesting, I never knew that. Sometimes I'm just looking for the sex too... damn I missed a lot of opportunities lol. I'll keep that in mind for next time
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2012 10:54 PM GMT
    Ariodante saidHave you ever interacted through email with a guy who obviously wants to go out with you, but who want YOU to ask THEM out, and they simply refuse to ask themselves? Jesus it is the stupidest, most moronic thing.

    Personal example (non RJ-related).

    Guy emailing me: "Wow man! *insert compliments here*"
    Me: Thanks! Likewise! Hope you're doing great.
    Guy: You too! I'm gonna be in San Diego next week ;)
    Me: Oh? What brings you here?"
    Guy: Work.
    Me: Well it's good timing, the weather's been amazing here the last few days, so hope you enjoy some time outside.
    Guy: Thanks.

    END OF CONVERSATION. WTF was that?


    Grrr. land it back in his lap to make HIM ask. Got any plans besides work while you're here? If you need a good tour guide and you're not cray cray I might know a good tour guide icon_smile.gif
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    Jun 01, 2012 10:58 PM GMT
    JackKash said
    Ariodante saidHave you ever interacted through email with a guy who obviously wants to go out with you, but who want YOU to ask THEM out, and they simply refuse to ask themselves? Jesus it is the stupidest, most moronic thing.

    Personal example (non RJ-related).

    Guy emailing me: "Wow man! *insert compliments here*"
    Me: Thanks! Likewise! Hope you're doing great.
    Guy: You too! I'm gonna be in San Diego next week ;)
    Me: Oh? What brings you here?"
    Guy: Work.
    Me: Well it's good timing, the weather's been amazing here the last few days, so hope you enjoy some time outside.
    Guy: Thanks.

    END OF CONVERSATION. WTF was that?


    He was obviously assuming that you would not be interested in meeting.. was intimidated enough to not just go the full length and ask you if you wanted "Coffee or a beer?" but not intimidated enough to initiate contact. For me i'd shrug and kind of think he was a wimp. He was residing in a half interested/ half not interested enough to take the leap area. Which will instantly annoy you as much as i'm sure it annoys him. But in his mind, if you do not hear from him again.. he'll make you out to be the "villain". He subconsciously set it up that way.


    icon_eek.gif huh? Or maybe he was a genuine guy who didn't know what to say and gave it a shot and is wishing he had asked if he'd like to exchange digits and talk a bit and take things from there. Maybe meet one evening for dinner? God you have him out to be psychotic LOL It's an interesting twist on things. You've decided to initiate the idea he's the "villain" before he makes someone else out to be the villian.
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    Jun 01, 2012 11:06 PM GMT
    creonxxx said
    JackKash said
    Ariodante saidHave you ever interacted through email with a guy who obviously wants to go out with you, but who want YOU to ask THEM out, and they simply refuse to ask themselves? Jesus it is the stupidest, most moronic thing.

    Personal example (non RJ-related).

    Guy emailing me: "Wow man! *insert compliments here*"
    Me: Thanks! Likewise! Hope you're doing great.
    Guy: You too! I'm gonna be in San Diego next week ;)
    Me: Oh? What brings you here?"
    Guy: Work.
    Me: Well it's good timing, the weather's been amazing here the last few days, so hope you enjoy some time outside.
    Guy: Thanks.

    END OF CONVERSATION. WTF was that?


    He was obviously assuming that you would not be interested in meeting.. was intimidated enough to not just go the full length and ask you if you wanted "Coffee or a beer?" but not intimidated enough to initiate contact. For me i'd shrug and kind of think he was a wimp. He was residing in a half interested/ half not interested enough to take the leap area. Which will instantly annoy you as much as i'm sure it annoys him. But in his mind, if you do not hear from him again.. he'll make you out to be the "villain". He subconsciously set it up that way.


    icon_eek.gif huh? Or maybe he was a genuine guy who didn't know what to say and gave it a shot and is wishing he had asked if he'd like to exchange digits and talk a bit and take things from there. Maybe meet one evening for dinner? God you have him out to be psychotic LOL It's an interesting twist on things. You've decided to initiate the idea he's the "villain" before he makes someone else out to be the villian.


    What i mean by villain is IF Ariodante doesn't ask him to meet, then in long run in his mind he'll think Ariodante doesn't want to see him. It's an easy defense mechanism.. and the guy isn't psychotic.. i think everyone has had a moment in which theyjust didn't know what to say, or wanted someone to ask them out as opposed to doing it themselves... but the way i perceive it, personally, the only logical outcome of that exchange would be to get someone to ask you out and most likely consequence is that if not asked out, the person seeking to be asked out will be relieved of any error. He didn't get technically turned down. And didn't get asked. So therefore he risked nothing. Thats what i mean. Thats the way my mind works.

    That behavior is called self-handicapping.
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    Jun 01, 2012 11:15 PM GMT
    JackKash said
    creonxxx said
    JackKash said
    Ariodante saidHave you ever interacted through email with a guy who obviously wants to go out with you, but who want YOU to ask THEM out, and they simply refuse to ask themselves? Jesus it is the stupidest, most moronic thing.

    Personal example (non RJ-related).

    Guy emailing me: "Wow man! *insert compliments here*"
    Me: Thanks! Likewise! Hope you're doing great.
    Guy: You too! I'm gonna be in San Diego next week ;)
    Me: Oh? What brings you here?"
    Guy: Work.
    Me: Well it's good timing, the weather's been amazing here the last few days, so hope you enjoy some time outside.
    Guy: Thanks.

    END OF CONVERSATION. WTF was that?


    He was obviously assuming that you would not be interested in meeting.. was intimidated enough to not just go the full length and ask you if you wanted "Coffee or a beer?" but not intimidated enough to initiate contact. For me i'd shrug and kind of think he was a wimp. He was residing in a half interested/ half not interested enough to take the leap area. Which will instantly annoy you as much as i'm sure it annoys him. But in his mind, if you do not hear from him again.. he'll make you out to be the "villain". He subconsciously set it up that way.


    icon_eek.gif huh? Or maybe he was a genuine guy who didn't know what to say and gave it a shot and is wishing he had asked if he'd like to exchange digits and talk a bit and take things from there. Maybe meet one evening for dinner? God you have him out to be psychotic LOL It's an interesting twist on things. You've decided to initiate the idea he's the "villain" before he makes someone else out to be the villian.


    What i mean by villain is IF Ariodante doesn't ask him to meet, then in long run in his mind he'll think Ariodante doesn't want to see him. It's an easy defense mechanism.. and the guy isn't psychotic.. i think everyone has had a moment in which theyjust didn't know what to say, or wanted someone to ask them out as opposed to doing it themselves... but the way i perceive it, personally, the only logical outcome of that exchange would be to get someone to ask you out and most likely consequence is that if not asked out, the person seeking to be asked out will be relieved of any error. He didn't get technically turned down. And didn't get asked. So therefore he risked nothing. Thats what i mean. Thats the way my mind works.

    That behavior is called self-handicapping.


    Thats some intense thinking.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2012 11:22 PM GMT
    The impression I got was him going all "hey I'm showing interest in you! Now it's up to you to seal the deal if you want me ;)". It felt non-commital and like a game. If you're going to approach me all you need to say is "hi, wanna go out?". Some balls and a bit if confidence go a long way.
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    Jun 01, 2012 11:26 PM GMT
    Way to take away his bragging rights. Now how is he going to brag to his friends? He cant say "this guy asked me out, jealous?" now he has to say, "OMG I sorta asked this guy out but I dont know if hes going to stand me up or something because I am insecure icon_sad.gif"

    Bravo Ario, bravo
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2012 11:37 PM GMT
    The thing that pissed me off was when I asked him what brought him to the city, he couldn't be bothered to answer more than the single word "work." Really dude? You contact me, out of your own free will send me an email that you're travelling to my city in two days, and when I show interest to give you an in to do what you should have asked in your first email you can't half ass anything better than a one word reply?
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    Jun 01, 2012 11:43 PM GMT
    Was he at least laid back and chill?
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    Jun 01, 2012 11:50 PM GMT
    Claystation saidWas he at least laid back and chill?

    Totally masc, straight actin' broseph. It could have been epic.
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    Jun 01, 2012 11:58 PM GMT
    Ariodante said
    Totally masc, straight actin' broseph. It could have been epic.


    Well he obviously wasn't down to earth with that kind of exchange he had with you. Better luck next time icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 02, 2012 12:05 AM GMT
    This is why I flirt, get rejected, and get over it; then make joke of my desires to date afterwards. I'm used to rejection. Being so perfect it makes guys want to puke, or stay clear of your cause of preconceived notions is great! Saves me from getting hurt more often than I'd be able to bear.
    Yes, I'm seriously do what I do to the level I do cause I know it keeps guys away from me. I know what you like...
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    Jun 02, 2012 12:13 AM GMT
    It's impossible to know for sure what he was thinking, but that does seem to be one possibility. Oh well, not your fault. He could've asked.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 02, 2012 12:16 AM GMT
    Ask you out? Seems more like he wants 2 fux...
    People are wangs.
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    Jun 02, 2012 12:22 AM GMT
    I know the scenario.

    I met a guy a couple of times at the beginning of the year, for a drink/bite to eat, but, it never really led anywhere, which is fine.

    He is a lovely guy, but is as timid as he is persistent in his hints to meet up again; he regularly texts/messages me about how bored he is, or how it's Friday, or how the sun is out, or something along those lines, which never actually asks me out/to meet him, but is clearly a social prompt for me to ask him.

    I stopped replying after a while as I refuse to play into that pseudo-manipulative game, no matter how well-intentioned.

    He recently sent me a text saying 'i'm so boring!', which I silently agreed with (but I probably would have met with him if he asked as I still enjoy his company over a drink or two, but not so bothered that I would ask him all that often), but felt obliged to say he was just being silly, which was also true.

    Once again, it is a text which is meant for me take the lead and to act in a way that would take all (minor) social risk of slight embarrassment from himself, as opposed to him asking me a direct and clear question, to which I would have given a honest, direct and clear reply (tactfully if needs be).

    We shouldn't blame others if we aren't man enough to grow our own proverbial balls and ask ' are you interested in having (a) X me? do you want to hang out at Y sometime'?.
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    Jun 02, 2012 1:17 AM GMT
    _SAGE_ saidhe regularly texts/messages me about how bored he is, or how it's Friday, or how the sun is out, or something along those lines, which never actually asks me out/to meet him, but is clearly a social prompt for me to ask him.


    If I had a nickel for every time I've been in that situation....I would have several nickels.
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    Jun 02, 2012 1:28 AM GMT
    Ariodante said
    _SAGE_ saidhe regularly texts/messages me about how bored he is, or how it's Friday, or how the sun is out, or something along those lines, which never actually asks me out/to meet him, but is clearly a social prompt for me to ask him.

    If I had a nickel for every time I've been in that situation....I would have several nickels.

    I like that sunshine is an event for you Brits.