Gay Obsession?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2012 2:49 PM GMT
    Ok, I am 19 and in currently on summer break after my sophomore year of college. I commute, I don't live away from home (which really sucks). I realized (or I guess accepted) that I was gay last August, so it'll be a year of really being gay in a few months.

    Anyways, i'm not out to family at all. Well, I told my sister I had sex with guys but i've never said I was gay. I'm in a fraternity and I came out to a lot of my brothers and things went well. Oddly enough they don't know many gay people so they really are insensitive sometimes but they are accepting for the most part.

    Ok now at the backstory is over, I feel like I am literally obsessed with being gay. I can't stop talking about it and I know it annoys people but it's all I think about. I can spend hours online looking up stuff or arguing about it with people, yet if I feel so strongly you'd think i'd come out to my parents at least.

    But seriously, I don't know to stop bringing it up in conversation and lamenting over the fact that i'm homosexual. I've had sex with a few guys, but it didn't really mean anything, so it can't be my desire for attention I don't think.

    Anyone else go through this?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2012 3:03 PM GMT
    JPtheBITCH said"I told my sister I had sex with guys but i've never said I was gay."

    Okay---here's the root of the problem. You think your sister bought that? You had sex with men, Straight boys don't do that.

    You "lamented" being gay? Everything you've said suggests that you're still buying into the idea that being gay has made you less than what you would have been if you were straight.

    I'm sorry, that's just nuts. Whatever skills you have, whatever inner qualities, whatever athletic or artistic or intellectual ability you have, that's all still there whether you like boys or girls for sexual relations.

    But wait, there's more! As a gay man, you get to see the world from different and interesting angles if you choose to. You are outside the hetero norms by definition, so you can choose how you want to live without consequence. Being gay didn't limit your choices, it broadened them. You can still do the 2,5 kids white picket fence thing if you want, or you can invent your life in some wholly different way.

    And if I hear you one more time talk about "lamenting" anything, or thinking you're less than your straight frat brahs, I'm personally going to find you and kick your ass around the block. See, we gay men go to the gym, so we end up a lot stronger than them,


    +1 Nicely put.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2012 4:54 PM GMT
    Grumpy Grampaw has spoken!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2012 6:26 PM GMT
    TheOmegaMan saidOk, I am 19 and in currently on summer break after my sophomore year of college. I commute, I don't live away from home (which really sucks). I realized (or I guess accepted) that I was gay last August, so it'll be a year of really being gay in a few months.

    Anyways, i'm not out to family at all. Well, I told my sister I had sex with guys but i've never said I was gay. I'm in a fraternity and I came out to a lot of my brothers and things went well. Oddly enough they don't know many gay people so they really are insensitive sometimes but they are accepting for the most part.

    Ok now at the backstory is over, I feel like I am literally obsessed with being gay. I can't stop talking about it and I know it annoys people but it's all I think about. I can spend hours online looking up stuff or arguing about it with people, yet if I feel so strongly you'd think i'd come out to my parents at least.

    But seriously, I don't know to stop bringing it up in conversation and lamenting over the fact that i'm homosexual. I've had sex with a few guys, but it didn't really mean anything, so it can't be my desire for attention I don't think.

    Anyone else go through this?




    I don't think you need to feel bad about being obsessed with being gay. You are just processing and sometimes it takes a while. When I came out I just had to keep reading more and more books, blogs, etc. A big part of it was that I was having to defend myself from my own very conservative background. That has passed somewhat, but lately I find myself putting my coming-out story in papers for school and what-not. Haha! At the very least its an easy pathos argument to insert into a paper, but once again I think I am just processing this, honestly, really big change in my life.

    Like others have said be careful about indulging that "lament" side. I myself am still getting over this stupid, "because I'm gay I am less of a man/person." its complete trash but something I have been only slowly, breaking down.
  • nyctouch

    Posts: 6

    Jun 03, 2012 7:15 PM GMT
    "Ok now at the backstory is over, I feel like I am literally obsessed with being gay. I can't stop talking about it and I know it annoys people but it's all I think about. I can spend hours online looking up stuff "

    Why feel different or guilty about this? Do you really think for a minute that it's any different than heteros bragging or bawling about their GF's? NOT!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2012 7:19 PM GMT
    omg this was so boring to read. icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2012 8:33 PM GMT
    for now its blue eyes and muscles yay!icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2012 8:36 PM GMT
    Straight men always think about being straight, getting pussy, etc. etc. etc.

    Gay men always think about being gay, getting dick, etc. etc. etc.

    Welcome to life. icon_biggrin.gif
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jun 03, 2012 8:39 PM GMT
    you're also a fake profile... so i guess that solves everything
  • FRE0

    Posts: 4863

    Jun 03, 2012 8:44 PM GMT
    TheOmegaMan saidOk, I am 19 and in currently on summer break after my sophomore year of college. I commute, I don't live away from home (which really sucks). I realized (or I guess accepted) that I was gay last August, so it'll be a year of really being gay in a few months.

    Anyways, i'm not out to family at all. Well, I told my sister I had sex with guys but i've never said I was gay. I'm in a fraternity and I came out to a lot of my brothers and things went well. Oddly enough they don't know many gay people so they really are insensitive sometimes but they are accepting for the most part.

    Ok now at the backstory is over, I feel like I am literally obsessed with being gay. I can't stop talking about it and I know it annoys people but it's all I think about. I can spend hours online looking up stuff or arguing about it with people, yet if I feel so strongly you'd think i'd come out to my parents at least.

    But seriously, I don't know to stop bringing it up in conversation and lamenting over the fact that i'm homosexual. I've had sex with a few guys, but it didn't really mean anything, so it can't be my desire for attention I don't think.

    Anyone else go through this?


    You are going through a phase, the same phase that I and many other gay men went through. Try not to be obsessed with it or let it interfere with your studies. Your main concern should be your education and to prepare yourself for a rewarding and satisfying career.

    Romantic engagements at your stage could result in emotional turmoil which could make studying exceeding difficult; don't ask he how I know! And, decisions you make now could have an effect on the rest of your life.

    Coming out to parents before becoming financial independent on them can be an extremely serious mistake, depending on how they react. It can result in being cut off from financial support thereby making continuing one's education very hard. On the other hand, supportive and understanding parents can make things much easier to deal with.

    Understandably, you have a strong need to talk about being gay. Perhaps your school has a gay organization with which you could become involved.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2012 11:37 PM GMT
    Thanks everyone. I guess I am just processing it and all. Anyone know when this obsession will pass? I'm just wondering.

    And what makes a profile fake? lol i'm confused

    Is it the Kellan Lutz photo? I just think he's hot
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2012 11:54 PM GMT
    TheOmegaMan saidThanks everyone. I guess I am just processing it and all. Anyone know when this obsession will pass? I'm just wondering.

    And what makes a profile fake? lol i'm confused

    Is it the Kellan Lutz photo? I just think he's hot


    I went through that too. Still phasing out of it. I think it takes awhile, depending on how difficult it is for you to get used to being gay and out.

    It's been about four years for me and this past year I'm finally obsessing less on it. My two cents would be to learn about it, make friends like you, and try to get used to the changes. You'll get acclimated.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 04, 2012 12:04 AM GMT
    TheOmegaMan saidOk, I am 19 and in currently on summer break after my sophomore year of college. I commute, I don't live away from home (which really sucks). I realized (or I guess accepted) that I was gay last August, so it'll be a year of really being gay in a few months.

    Anyways, i'm not out to family at all. Well, I told my sister I had sex with guys but i've never said I was gay. I'm in a fraternity and I came out to a lot of my brothers and things went well. Oddly enough they don't know many gay people so they really are insensitive sometimes but they are accepting for the most part.

    Ok now at the backstory is over, I feel like I am literally obsessed with being gay. I can't stop talking about it and I know it annoys people but it's all I think about. I can spend hours online looking up stuff or arguing about it with people, yet if I feel so strongly you'd think i'd come out to my parents at least.

    But seriously, I don't know to stop bringing it up in conversation and lamenting over the fact that i'm homosexual. I've had sex with a few guys, but it didn't really mean anything, so it can't be my desire for attention I don't think.

    Anyone else go through this?


    Dude, I felt the same way. For me, I think it was a result of my not totally being comfortable with myself. The more people I came out to, the more normal it seemed and I didn't feel the need to bring it up as much, because people already knew and I could focus on other things. I think if you give it time and continue to come out to people as you feel more comfortable, your sexuality will just become a normal part of your life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 04, 2012 1:49 AM GMT
    When I first came out one of my friends said to me that I didn't just come out of the closet, I poured out of the closet.
  • araphael

    Posts: 1148

    Jun 04, 2012 3:47 AM GMT
    TheOmegaMan saidOk, I am 19 and in currently on summer break after my sophomore year of college. I commute, I don't live away from home (which really sucks). I realized (or I guess accepted) that I was gay last August, so it'll be a year of really being gay in a few months.

    Anyways, i'm not out to family at all. Well, I told my sister I had sex with guys but i've never said I was gay. I'm in a fraternity and I came out to a lot of my brothers and things went well. Oddly enough they don't know many gay people so they really are insensitive sometimes but they are accepting for the most part.

    Ok now at the backstory is over, I feel like I am literally obsessed with being gay. I can't stop talking about it and I know it annoys people but it's all I think about. I can spend hours online looking up stuff or arguing about it with people, yet if I feel so strongly you'd think i'd come out to my parents at least.

    But seriously, I don't know to stop bringing it up in conversation and lamenting over the fact that i'm homosexual. I've had sex with a few guys, but it didn't really mean anything, so it can't be my desire for attention I don't think.

    Anyone else go through this?


    Stop talking about it. It is who you are, not what you do. As Sigmund Freud would say, the more you talk about it the more people will think that you hate it. In your case that will mean that you hate being you. Or you just like attention for being "different," which I guarantee you that you are not. There are some other gay people in your family, or your family tree, that everyone else knows about but you don't.