Would you date someone who's family didn't accept them for being gay?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 03, 2012 10:35 PM GMT
    Some people avoid others with emotional baggage but its sort of inherent in a lot of gay men's when they're abandoned at this time.
  • Ridiculance

    Posts: 40

    Jun 03, 2012 11:38 PM GMT
    My boyfriend's mom doesn't accept him... can't wait until she finds out about his brother too icon_eek.gificon_rolleyes.gif
    Ideally I think we all want parents who will accept our relationship and love our man as much as we do. But life unfortunately isn't like that for many. Some people's stories about coming out to their parents are quite traumatic..
    We all bring different baggage. We work thru it. You like your boyfriend, not his parents anyway. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jun 03, 2012 11:52 PM GMT
    I sure hope so. My family would never accept me, that's why I gotta look for some love somewhere else icon_smile.gif
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    Jun 03, 2012 11:52 PM GMT
    Yes, I'm not dating their family.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jun 03, 2012 11:53 PM GMT
    Been there done that......had it's ups and downs.....but in the end...worth it. icon_wink.gif
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    Jun 03, 2012 11:58 PM GMT
    I would as long as they seemed to be able to accept themselves. Otherwise, I'd probably just be friends with them. It's just hard for me to find someone attractive if they're not even comfortable with themselves.
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    Jun 04, 2012 12:01 AM GMT
    It's only a problem if the person you're dating continues to chase said family's love/affection/acceptance - if the family members are completely inflexible that scenario will only end badly.

    Otherwise, it shouldn't be a big deal. There are plenty of LGBTQ people who aren't close to their families for reasons that have nothing to do with sexuality.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Jun 04, 2012 12:05 AM GMT
    it wouldn't be an issue for me
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    Jun 04, 2012 12:05 AM GMT
    I am dating him. Not his family. too often people have blurred lines about that when there simply doesn't have to be.
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    Jun 04, 2012 12:27 AM GMT
    I could still date him - however - you do have to consider what effect his family will have on him and therefore you and therefore the relationship - at the end of the day they are still his family - I guess it depends on the dynamics of his connection with his family... (devil's advocate here) im a big believer that when u date someone you also date their family....that's just me
  • UVaRob9

    Posts: 282

    Jun 04, 2012 12:27 AM GMT
    Considering that at least half of my family is in that position and the guy I'm dating is well aware of the situation, I think it's kinda shitty to consider discounting someone based on a decision that wasn't their own.
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    Jun 04, 2012 12:45 AM GMT
    Are you able to share time in public or only sneak around in the bedroom?

    Its a challenge to avoid feeling like a victim of the latter situation.
  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    Jun 04, 2012 12:54 AM GMT
    When I'm looking at dating someone I look at how WE interact. Masculine or feminine, close relationship with families, etc. don't matter that much. I care about meeting someone with a mutual emotional, intellectual and physical attraction who treats me well. The other things will take care of themselves.
  • Karl

    Posts: 5787

    Jun 04, 2012 12:58 AM GMT
    I think I would because I love and want to live with him , not his family.
    But...I sure hope that we could get through it because I dont want to be another version of the sad clip "It could happen to you"...
    This will be a big issue to me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2012 1:05 AM GMT
    My family had some trouble with my coming out in the past and they are fine now. Sure I would date him in a hearbeat if I feel like he has *The One* potential. Having a supportive family is nice but some gay men don't have this *priviledge of having non-homophobic parents/family. It could take some times for them to come around. As long as I like him a lot, I will try to make it work and be supportive of him. icon_biggrin.gif
  • vintovka

    Posts: 588

    Jun 04, 2012 2:07 AM GMT
    It's all about boundaries--if he can set them with his family, then their opinion shouldn't matter a bit.
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    Jun 04, 2012 2:11 AM GMT
    Jay1922 saidYes, I'm not dating their family.

    LOL
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2012 2:16 AM GMT
    Got rejected once after the first date because of this reason.

    I am close to my family and I know for a FACT that my parents have pretty homophobic responses....
  • araphael

    Posts: 1148

    Jun 04, 2012 3:40 AM GMT
    Of course I would date the dude if his family didn't accept him being gay. Their ignorant behavior proves all the more the courage this dude must have and how much he really cared about me that he would open his personal hell up to me and invite me in to such a hostile reality that shaped him in part. But that doesn't mean that I would have to accept or like the hellish family he grew up in, it would just mean that I like and love him.
  • nomadfornow

    Posts: 1069

    Jun 04, 2012 3:45 AM GMT
    Would I? Yes. As long as the guy accepts HIMSELF as being gay, then we're good.
  • Karl

    Posts: 5787

    Jun 04, 2012 3:48 AM GMT
    apolo_delfos said
    I really hope every single country in the world can have gay marriage and can adopt kids like in here. It certainly is a huge step for having a "complete life".
    I wanted to thank you for that video, though it made me really sad, you did make me remember how lucky I actually am that everything turned ok.

    yw , I almost cried when watching that video for the first time on FB.
    Quote : "I really hope every single country in the world can have gay marriage and can adopt kids like in here" ... this is my biggest wish in life and you're so lucky when you were born this the country in which they accept gay marriage.

    I come from a small Asian country but people doesnt hate gay...but it doesnt mean they accept it. So hard to have a "complete life".

    I know that my parent will never accept me for being gay but I still believe and keep hoping.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2012 3:57 AM GMT
    I want to be with my boyfriend not precisely with his family. So def yes, it's not his fault if they don't accept him.
  • ivanuri97

    Posts: 87

    Jun 04, 2012 4:11 AM GMT
    My boyfriend has a mother who doesn't accept it but I'm not going anywhere. We aren't going to be friends, and that's all ok. I do wish she could know that her gay son's boyfriend (she knows me by name only and as a friend) really cares for her son a lot though and it's not a gross thing! icon_biggrin.gif
  • mikeylikes

    Posts: 53

    Jun 04, 2012 4:50 AM GMT
    so if you like a guy and he likes you and you have chemistry, the fact that his family hates him is a good reason for you to shit on him too?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2012 5:09 AM GMT
    nomadfornow saidAs long as the guy accepts HIMSELF as being gay, then we're good.


    ^^ This.