Issues fitting in or feeling "normal?"

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2012 2:55 PM GMT
    I'll say, i'm not a stereotypical gay guy but i'm not a stock guy either. I have no interest in sports (except for Soccer, but i'm America isn't so big) such as Football and Basketball. Most of my friends are straight and this is of huge importance to them and they will talk about it all the time.

    Also, i'm not saying that you required to like sports to be a normal guy but you have to admit that a vast majority of guys like sports.


    The whole not liking girls, not being into sports and everything kind of makes it hard to relate to my friends. I have other friends who aren't this way but I don't wanna ditch my old friends just because we're a lot different now.

    any tips?
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    Jun 04, 2012 3:07 PM GMT
    The fact that you refer to being straight as "normal" speaks volumes.

    Get that fucking thought out of your head before it kills you.
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    Jun 04, 2012 3:19 PM GMT
    ^+1
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    Jun 04, 2012 3:19 PM GMT
    TheOmegaMan saidI'll say, i'm not a stereotypical gay guy but i'm not a stock guy either. I have no interest in sports (except for Soccer, but i'm America isn't so big) such as Football and Basketball. Most of my friends are straight and this is of huge importance to them and they will talk about it all the time.


    If they talk about topics that you have little interest in all the time why are they your friends ?

    Sounds to me like you've outgrown them and you need to find people who are more on your wavelength.

    paulflexesThe fact that you refer to being straight as "normal" speaks volumes.

    Get that fucking thought out of your head before it kills you.


    x100
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    Jun 04, 2012 3:21 PM GMT
    If the day EVER comes that I "fit in" or "feel normal" I will hang myself.

    Period.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jun 04, 2012 3:22 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidThe fact that you refer to being straight as "normal" speaks volumes.

    Get that fucking thought out of your head before it kills you.


    I woiuld agree with Paul to the point you either need to change your choice of words... or really revamp how you approach the whole "friendship thing"

    What you seem to say is, "you want to fit in". I think most people want to fit in and be a part of the crowd to some degree. What you need to remember is that what makes you unique and a "stand out" from the crowd is what makes you different, not what blends you in. While friends do have a number of things in common, I doubt if all my diverse friends care about all my interests and vice versa. Friendship is caring, learning and appreciating someone else. The fact you might not like football, but are open to learning more about it while in the company of people you might envision as "friends" is helpful. Being close minded can alienate potential friends.

    Why ditch the old friends? You never said why....
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    Jun 04, 2012 3:22 PM GMT
    Cash saidIf the day EVER comes that I "fit in" or "feel normal" I will hang myself.

    Period.
    Back to your cage! icon_mad.gif
  • shutoman

    Posts: 505

    Jun 04, 2012 3:32 PM GMT
    TheOmegaManThe whole not liking girls, not being into sports and everything kind of makes it hard to relate to my friends. I have other friends who aren't this way but I don't wanna ditch my old friends just because we're a lot different now.


    You're young and coming out fairly late, I guess. I agree with many of the comments here about confusing straight and normal - but I would not take too much notice of the aggressive language.

    The question you ask is one which many gay men face. You will find that some of your current friends will stay in touch even if you don't share their interests and some won't and that there's little logic to it. So you can't predict who will stay in touch and who won't. Some of your closest friends now will not stay in touch: it can be tough but it is a fact of life. Try finding some friends who share your interests and see how it goes.
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    Jun 04, 2012 3:37 PM GMT
    The feeling of not fitting in or not being "normal" is often a form of self-aggrandizement. Whenever I find myself feeling that way I just tell myself "get over yo'self, bitch!"
  • Latenight30

    Posts: 1525

    Jun 04, 2012 3:41 PM GMT
    Blah!!!! boo hoo. Who wants to be normal? Be unique be different be true.
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    Jun 04, 2012 4:23 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidThe fact that you refer to being straight as "normal" speaks volumes.

    Get that fucking thought out of your head before it kills you.


    Not to mention his idea of being a "stereotypical" gay. Might I suggest you peruse the many profiles on this site to realize there is no "stereotypical" gay guy.
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    Jun 04, 2012 4:30 PM GMT
    Cash saidIf the day EVER comes that I "fit in" or "feel normal" I will hang myself.

    Period.



    Uhn uh. No. Get back to work on that private commission I gave you... icon_twisted.gif
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    Jun 04, 2012 5:48 PM GMT
    ECnAZ said
    paulflexes saidThe fact that you refer to being straight as "normal" speaks volumes.

    Get that fucking thought out of your head before it kills you.


    Not to mention his idea of being a "stereotypical" gay. Might I suggest you peruse the many profiles on this site to realize there is no "stereotypical" gay guy.


    There are stereotypical gay males. There are stereotypes for virtually all types of individuals. What I mean by this is that the people I meet never assume i'm gay.
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Jun 04, 2012 5:54 PM GMT
    Why would anyone ever want to be normal?
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    Jun 04, 2012 5:55 PM GMT
    DCEric saidWhy would anyone ever want to be normal?


    Good point.
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    Jun 04, 2012 5:57 PM GMT
    TheOmegaMan saidI'll say, i'm not a stereotypical gay guy but i'm not a stock guy either. I have no interest in sports (except for Soccer, but i'm America isn't so big) such as Football and Basketball. Most of my friends are straight and this is of huge importance to them and they will talk about it all the time.

    Also, i'm not saying that you required to like sports to be a normal guy but you have to admit that a vast majority of guys like sports.


    The whole not liking girls, not being into sports and everything kind of makes it hard to relate to my friends. I have other friends who aren't this way but I don't wanna ditch my old friends just because we're a lot different now.

    any tips?

    What are you interested in besides soccer? Find people whose interests are similar to yours.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Jun 04, 2012 6:01 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidThe fact that you refer to being straight as "normal" speaks volumes.

    Get that fucking thought out of your head before it kills you.
    great tip paul. there are tons of straight guys who do not like sports. if you do not have anything in common with them why do you hangout with them?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2012 10:21 PM GMT
    I hang out with them because they are my fraternity brothers.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2012 10:26 PM GMT
    TheOmegaMan said
    ECnAZ said
    paulflexes saidThe fact that you refer to being straight as "normal" speaks volumes.

    Get that fucking thought out of your head before it kills you.


    Not to mention his idea of being a "stereotypical" gay. Might I suggest you peruse the many profiles on this site to realize there is no "stereotypical" gay guy.


    There are stereotypical gay males. There are stereotypes for virtually all types of individuals. What I mean by this is that the people I meet never assume i'm gay.


    And what I'm saying is that there shouldn't be stereotypes of anyone. That leads to prejudices.

    In your case, you're trying to categorize yourself into one thing or another. Stop trying to do that. In one sense, you're conveying that you don't fit into the gay world. In another sense you're saying you don't fit into the straight world. What I'm saying is, just be.

    The truth is, and the thing to be proud of is that you're your own unique individual. And you have to be true to yourself, not true to what others want you to be. Find others who share your common interests and make new friends. I'm not saying to ditch your old ones, but broaden your horizons. If you and your current friends are "... a lot different now", then it's time to meet people who aren't different from you. And they don't know you're gay and you're trying to perpetuate this "normal" lifestyle, then you're living a lie.