Gay neighbors -- do you have to be social?

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  Jun 05, 2012 2:46 AM GMT

  I live in a VERY ungay neighborhood, so when I found out that a nearby house had a gay couple living in it, I invited them over for a drink. After all, I reasoned, we're the only three gays who live in this suburb. Well, I just endured the deadliest hour and a half of conversation ever. Now I've been invited to their place for drinks. I'm all for gay solidarity, but they're 30 years older than I am! Do I have to become their buddy?

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  Jun 05, 2012 2:57 AM GMT

  Our next door neighbor is a lesbian and we are very friendly and frequently chat with her and have her over for coffee. Even if she was straight we would do the same. It is good to have good relationships with your neighbors.

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  Jun 05, 2012 3:13 AM GMT

  You have to join them for sex.

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  Jun 05, 2012 3:15 AM GMT

  I'm confused. You asked them over for a drink and now when they return the favour by inviting you over for a drink you're not interested?

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  Jun 05, 2012 3:17 AM GMT

  swimguychicago saidI live in a VERY ungay neighborhood, so when I found out that a nearby house had a gay couple living in it, I invited them over for a drink. After all, I reasoned, we're the only three gays who live in this suburb. Well, I just endured the deadliest hour and a half of conversation ever. Now I've been invited to their place for drinks. I'm all for gay solidarity, but they're 30 years older than I am! Do I have to become their buddy?

  
  
  Nope.

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  Jun 05, 2012 3:45 AM GMT

  cold saidI'm confused. You asked them over for a drink and now when they return the favour by inviting you over for a drink you're not interested?

  
  
  I DIDN'T KNOW HOW DULL THEY'D BE!

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  Jun 05, 2012 4:27 AM GMT

  They are 90 years old?

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  Jun 05, 2012 4:29 AM GMT

  Gay people as dull?
  
  

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• BmwKid92
  
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  Jun 05, 2012 4:32 AM GMT

  paulflexes saidYou have to join them for sex.

  
  
  what he said

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  Jun 05, 2012 4:39 AM GMT

  I live in a low density suburb in a colder sac out in the burbs, of only 11 homes. The odds of ever having another gay or lesbian couple near us would be slim one would imagine. But then we also live in a very private neighborhood too, and neither of us are big with being overly close with neighbors, and why change that just because they may be gay, as we also have a lot in commion with straight people too.

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• mybud
  
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  Jun 05, 2012 4:42 AM GMT

  No....strong fences make good neighbors...

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• waccamatt
  
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  Jun 05, 2012 4:47 AM GMT

  Three out of the 6 houses closes to me are gay or lesbian occupied. The gay couple across the street are two of my closest friends, but I've only socialized with the lesbian couple a few times. Of course my neighborhood is probably 20 or 25% gay so it is a different situation than yours. Go and have a drink with them and say hello in passing in the future. It pays to be friendly with all of your neighbors.

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  Jun 05, 2012 5:20 AM GMT

  No, if they're thirty years older than you are, and if you think they're boring - you don't have to see much of them. It would be good to be friendly though, just keep it pleasant.
  
  An 80-something neighbor got friendly with the new couple next door to her. After a few years, the older lady got ill and the younger couple did nice things for her and were good neighbors to her. Guess what? When the older lady died, she left her luxury home to the next door neighbors - in gratitude for being nice to her. The younger couple put their newly acquired house up for sale. Asking price: $1,200,000.00
  
  So - be nice to those neighbors!

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  Jun 05, 2012 5:21 AM GMT

  I'd say you're at least obliged to pop in for that drink, but sexual orientation isn't sufficient grounds for enduring friendship. You might, though, give them a little more time to grow on you. They're neighbors, after all, and old farts sometimes give great advice and perspective

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  Jun 05, 2012 5:35 AM GMT

  novo saidI'd say you're at least obliged to pop in for that drink, but sexual orientation isn't sufficient grounds for enduring friendship. You might, though, give them a little more time to grow on you. They're neighbors, after all, and old farts sometimes give great advice and perspective

  
  
  YES we do.

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  Jun 05, 2012 5:50 AM GMT

  Let out your most objectionable opinions and they won't want you back.

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  Jun 05, 2012 5:51 AM GMT

  SkinnyBitch saidLet out your most objectionable opinions and they won't want you back.

  
  
  tell them you're a republican ...... always works for me!

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• metta
  
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  Jun 05, 2012 5:57 AM GMT

  I wouldn't care how old they were. When I first moved to my neighborhood, we had many gay neighbors. Over time, many of them have moved away/left due to break ups, loss of income due to the economy, and within my own household, a death. There are still a few but it was pretty amazing how many there were when I first moved here.
  
  If anyone is looking for a single family home in the NE part of LA County, we could use more. ;)
  
  

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• metta
  
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  Jun 05, 2012 6:00 AM GMT

  Jockbod48 saidNo, if they're thirty years older than you are, and if you think they're boring - you don't have to see much of them. It would be good to be friendly though, just keep it pleasant.
  
  An 80-something neighbor got friendly with the new couple next door to her. After a few years, the older lady got ill and the younger couple did nice things for her and were good neighbors to her. Guess what? When the older lady died, she left her luxury home to the next door neighbors - in gratitude for being nice to her. The younger couple put their newly acquired house up for sale. Asking price: $1,200,000.00
  
  So - be nice to those neighbors!

  
  
  That is not a reason to be nice. There is nothing wrong with just being a good neighbor and trying to be a good person.

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  Jun 05, 2012 6:02 AM GMT

  metta8 said

  Jockbod48 saidNo, if they're thirty years older than you are, and if you think they're boring - you don't have to see much of them. It would be good to be friendly though, just keep it pleasant.
  
  An 80-something neighbor got friendly with the new couple next door to her. After a few years, the older lady got ill and the younger couple did nice things for her and were good neighbors to her. Guess what? When the older lady died, she left her luxury home to the next door neighbors - in gratitude for being nice to her. The younger couple put their newly acquired house up for sale. Asking price: $1,200,000.00
  
  So - be nice to those neighbors!

  
  
  That is not a reason to be nice. There is nothing wrong with just being a good neighbor and trying to be a good person.

  
  
  
  ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
  
  Do what you know is right, truly right.

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• Webster666
  
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  Jun 05, 2012 6:38 AM GMT

  Here's how it is.
  
  You invited them over to your place. Very nice of you.
  They accepted.
  
  It didn't go well, for ANY OF YOU.
  
  They were under no obligation, what so ever, to then invite you to their place.
  But, they did. Very nice of them.
  
  However, you are under no obligation, what so ever, to accept their invitation.
  
  Do everyone involved a favor, and decline their invitation.
  
  
  
  

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  Jun 05, 2012 7:55 AM GMT

  SkinnyBitch saidLet out your most objectionable opinions and they won't want you back.

  
  I prefer to impersonate my favourite characters from Star Wars.
  

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• josephmovie
  
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  Jun 05, 2012 8:08 AM GMT

  You don't have to be best buds, but you do have to be polite. Remember who instigated this.
  
  Just go and have a drink with them. I mean, they may be dull but sometimes it's not all about you, and good neighbours who will keep an eye on you and your home are hard to find.

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  Jun 05, 2012 8:14 AM GMT

  So the only reason you invited them over was because they are gay? Am I hearing this right? Pffft. Ok. In any case, you opened the door on this and they politely stepped through and now they are extending kindness your way. Sure, you can decline but how would it look on your end. You don't have to be their best friend or anything like that but you can be a good neighbor.
  
  Can't you just invite people over simply because you feel like you'd have a good time without wondering or worrying what their sexual preference is?

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• Tiller66
  
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  Jun 05, 2012 9:13 AM GMT

  Just go over and have a drink if you want to make sure you'er drinking something you like BYOB and share.If anything will make it obvious you guys should or should'nt hang out alot it will be what you chose to drink.But unless you plan to move soon it's always good to be polite to neighbors.

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