highforthis saidwell my hope is that on one of these occasions, i'll end up inseparable from some guy and he'll follow me everywhere i go
If a guy had so little going on in his life that he could follow me on every whim I'd be dating a loser.
Haha, ok, assuming that I'm smart enough not to be dating one of those, but rather a fellow expat who, like me, isn't deeply rooted anywhere, who is the complete package as far as looks, talent, personality and compatibility goes...
...should i spend the next couple months wooing him so that we can make an effort to line up our plans? (bigggg compromises from both sides obviously) How fast can a relationship get to a point that justifies making those sacrifices?
Let me stop you right here and set myself up as a cautionary tale. When I moved back from Texas to California, I had been dating someone for about seven months. I am a total lesbian at heart and we agreed that he would move to California with me. That did not work out very well at all.
You do not know the person your prospective partner will become in a new locale, how it will impact him to be away from friends and family, what dependency issues might arise due to him being uprooted, how it will change his personality for you to be the focus of decision making, and do not know all of the myriad ways the normal stress of a major move will pick away at your nascent relationship.
As you can tell from the reaction that most of the other guys had, this is a big no-no. I understand the difficulties that work can present to having a relationship - I really do. But at some point you have to become anchored enough in one spot to begin forming one, and if you can't right now that's just the way it is. Trying to take someone in tow is foolish, and I am a perfect example of that.
Have you ever seen the movie "Up In The Air"? Here's a great quote about that tension between relationships and demanding types of work that I find illuminating:
"Make no mistake your relationships are the heaviest components in your life. All those negotiations and arguments and secrets, the compromises. The slower we move the faster we die. Make no mistake, moving is living. Some animals were meant to carry each other to live symbiotically over a lifetime. Star crossed lovers, monogamous swans. We are not swans. We are sharks."
You have chosen to perform a certain function. Sometimes that is incompatible with certain types of happiness. You get to choose what you really want.