SkinnyBitch saidThat's a pretty comprehensive test, to include ill parents.
It seems like you're confusing your maximum potential with what you could realistically accomplish. Life isn't an "in ideal circumstances" scenario, so why expect so much of yourself? If your best friend was in your position, would you think "he really should be doing more with his life", or would you be kinder to him than you are being to yourself? hmmmm?
Kindness = a benevolent response that is mild in nature. Often reserved for people we know the further away we move from ourselves. Synonymous with "compassion", "niceness", etc. You meet a guy who is struggling with drug addiction; your default response is kindness.
Love = a benevolent response that is passionate in nature. It flares in anger; it rages at people demanding more of them than they are doing for themselves. Read Dylan Thomas "Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Night". If the dying man had been Dylan's family friend, he would have shown kindness, telling him to go in peace. But the dying man was Dylan's father - so Dylan basically barked that he should "rage, rage against the dying of the light". If you discover that your closest relative has a drug addiction, you won't be "nice" - you will drag that person's ass to rehab; you will chain them up in the basement, if that's what it takes to clean them up and save their life. But you wouldn't do that for a stranger... it's too much effort, it's interfering, etc.
Love, therefore, is a response we reserve for people closer to ourselves, mostly, especially ourselves.
Our impatience with our own progress indicates the absence of kindness towards ourselves, but it does also indicates the presence of love. We want what's best for ourselves. That's why we can feel compassion for a friend who's struggling with life, but only have impatience with ourselves when we struggle under similar circumstances. I'm not saying that this is an appropriate stance to take towards ourselves; I'm merely explaining where we're coming from... and you know what? Maybe we should be impatient with ourselves. Maybe, sometimes, we ought to be harsh towards ourselves. If no one ever got harsh with himself, there would be no eye-candy on this site. Think about it.
So when you feel like you're not living up to your full potential, under any circumstance, you can feel pity for yourself.. or you can rage, rage, against the dying of your light.