Overcoming shyness

  • Hotgymguy22

    Posts: 98

    Jun 07, 2012 2:24 PM GMT
    What is the best way to overcome shyness?

    I am normally a homebody and only hang out with a few friends because I am a very reserved person around people I don't know. I don't go to the club much, but when I do I feel out of place (that's why I don't go). I'm so shy I won't approach anyone and initiate conversation. I've been told several times I'm intimidating so I worked some on posture to appear more comfortable and approachable. I'm the nicest person you could probably meet, and if someone comes up to me I'm receptive; it's just that I am too friggin' shy to go up to guys myself, especially the ones I really want to chat to. One time I went to Oz in New Orleans and got hit on by three women, zero men... in a gay club! My grindr, however, had over 60 messages on it. I know that's partly because the nature of grindr, but how do I change my reserved nature and be able to approach guys? How do i become more approachable for guys to come to me? Thanks for the help!
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jun 07, 2012 4:06 PM GMT
    drink and take e
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    Jun 07, 2012 4:44 PM GMT
    I was painfully shy when I was a kid. That's gone now... there is standard advice like yes, you have to learn to be comfortable with your self before you can be comfortable with others, but I did get one piece of advice when I was 20 that has really been helpful: Ask questions. If people approach you and engage you in conversation, it goes no where unless you have questions for them, too.

    Very basic, but for a shy person, very important to hear. Good luck overcoming your shyness. And here:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEpAtTe-oJY

  • Hotgymguy22

    Posts: 98

    Jun 07, 2012 5:10 PM GMT
    Thanks Brix. I am trying to be less shy. The last time I did go to the club I had made up my mind to go up to a guy I thought was cute and offer to buy him a drink, but someone came up to me and offered to buy me a drink instead. By time I looked back up the guy I was interested in was gone.
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    Jun 07, 2012 5:25 PM GMT
    Accept failure and know that most of the time you will find people engage you in conversation.

    For instance there is this guy at the gym who I see often and always seem to work out by each other. Finally struck up some convo and now we talk daily at the gym and I think he might be gay the more I get to know him. So take the risk, usually it's worth it.


    It takes a lot of confidence, it was hard for me once to talk to people and you'll have to fight it every day that natural instint to be reclusive. I still get nervous but the rewards usually outweigh the risks.
  • Hotgymguy22

    Posts: 98

    Jun 07, 2012 5:40 PM GMT
    That's actually really good advice. Thanks!