How does one know their ugly vs. being attractive?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 07, 2012 5:14 PM GMT
    NO ADDITIONAL REPLIES NECESSARY.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 07, 2012 6:02 PM GMT
    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There's no such thing as ugly or beautiful.

    Seems like you should get some help (perhaps professional) to work on your self-image and from what I can tell from your post a whole lot of other things. Don't seek any validation here (or anywhere else for that matter), because you aren't going to get it (except some douchebags who choose to ridicule you).
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    Jun 07, 2012 6:08 PM GMT
    Honestly, I'm not going to put a number on it and say if you are a 4, 6, or 8. Everyone's criteria is different.

    Are you drop-dead gorgeous, male model, photoshopped, head-turning, delicious slab o' man meat. NO.

    Do you have that Hollywood leading man, Denzel Washington look? NO.

    Are you a hedious troll that needs to wear a burlap sack over your head in public to keep respectable ladies from fainting and children from fleeing to the safety of their mother's skirts? NO.

    Are you ugly? NO.

    Are you simply unattractive? NO.

    Are you just as attractive as 98% of the world population? YES!


    Work on your mental health first and foremost. Become a friendly, kind, open, honest man of quality and you will attract the same as friends and lovers.

    Good luck to you.

    Now to read about that fetish of yours.

    Edit: Crew socks! That's your fetish?! That's what's going to keep you from finding someone to share you life with? I don't think so. I think there are way more people with this fetish than you know. So put on some crew socks and start networking, baby!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 07, 2012 6:14 PM GMT
    As you grow older you will learn to respect and love yourself. I agree with the other poster. You will get nothing but crap on this site. Also it is not the end of the world if you will live mostly alone your whole life. Many gay guys do. Go out and gain friends.
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    Jun 07, 2012 6:33 PM GMT
    Well....while beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I think the majority of our culture find certain features universally beautiful and others...not so much. So in a sense, there is a beauty-scale/standard, but only because we created it as such.

    But I think Undercoverman hit it spot on. The majority of the population is normal looking, not too beautiful, not too ugly, just right. The quantity of people who are breathtakingly beautiful and gut-wrenchingly ugly is very slim. I'm just glad I fall in the middle range. icon_lol.gif And you my friend, do too.
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    Jun 07, 2012 6:34 PM GMT
    If you look in the mirror and lose your hard-on, you're ugly.
  • Beeftastic

    Posts: 1747

    Jun 07, 2012 8:32 PM GMT
    Dude, you are not ugly, are are an attractive guy. You do have some serious self-esteem issues, and that is where you need to be doing the work. You should look into some kind of therapy.

    And really, if I met a guy that I was seriously into and the only thing I had to do to turn him on was put on some crew socks when we jumped in bed? That would be a no-brainer. It's not a big deal.

    Practically, if you want to up your attractiveness to your age group/type of guy (as seen in your hot list) then work on gaining 10 pounds or so. It's just the law of the jungle, muscles increase attractiveness. At least that is something practical and understandable that you can work towards.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 07, 2012 8:35 PM GMT
    oh dear.

    Frankly your issues are too big for this board to help you with. I actually mean that kindly. Black is as beautiful as white.

    Go find a living person who can help you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 08, 2012 12:55 AM GMT
    So, a lot of our guys have different tastes as many guys go for the mainstream look. It is incredibly natural to worry about your insecurities. However, you could easily have a lot more fun by throwing your desire to be considered attractive and want to be in a relationship to the wind. I personally have more fun when I do that.

    Just let what comes, come. You will do fiiiine.

    Side Notes:
    -Your fetish on your profile doesn't sound particularly weird. Simply a fetish.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 08, 2012 12:59 AM GMT
    I wouldn't worry about your looks, I feel like there is someone out their for everyone, unless you are a very picky person but then again they find people too I would assume. And as others have said beauty is in the eye of the beholder, everyone has flaws and insecurities but forget about those and pay attention to the features that you like about yourself icon_smile.gif
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    Jun 08, 2012 1:31 AM GMT
    Supra89 saidI know most dudes on here have no idea what being “hard on the eyes” feels like and for that you guys are blessed. But am I indeed the curdled milk of my kind? Be honest. If so, how do I proceed in life (if I choose to proceed at all)?


    That nagging sensation may never go away. I used to be obese... no one noticed me. So now when people notice me, I don't really internalize it.

    The key is to fake it til you make it. Act attractive and that'll make you more attractive.

    But also remember that there's a way to project confidence without turning into an asshole. Be the man you want to be with, and that'll be the man other men want to be around.
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    Jun 08, 2012 1:34 AM GMT
    I know I have no right to say this as my profile is void of any pics - which I'll rectify some day when I decide to stop taking the pics at functions and I stop being such a prick when it comes to the crappy quality of a MacBook camera. But whatever...

    I'm not going to tell you that your attractive. As a personal thing, I cannot stand it when someone says that your so "handsome" or some other patronizing thing. People, can you not see that my nose is crooked? Can you not see that my jaw doesn't drop down enough? My eyes are too big and puppy like? My ears stick out like an ape? My hair is all wavy and won't comb the right way - and I'm restricted to basically a military cut?

    Yeah - we've all got those little voices in our heads. We've all got baggage. Only you can really get over it. I like to tell my friends whenever they start acting mopey: take your balls out of your purse and man up. Yes, even to my female friends. The reason for the "ugliness" is because you are perceiving yourself to be ugly. The negativity breeds - funny thing is that other people can sense it like dogs and thus you're all alone because nobody wants someone negative.

    I know - RJ is full of gorgeous men you just want to tackle, feel up, kiss, and beg the question: WHAT DID YOU DO TO LOOK LIKE YOU?! But it's something that needs to be gotten over. Those guys - they also have baggage. One guy probably has daddy issues, another's got a weird giant wart on a part that nobody sees. Anothers a druggy. Another is a lowlife who blows off his dates.

    I recommend seeing an actual therapist though and not really listen to me since I'm just repeating verbatim what she told me.
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    Jun 08, 2012 1:49 AM GMT
    Supra89 saidPersonally I hate myself, for several reasons, I believe I was born the wrong color, I have a fetish that will probably result in me being alone forever (see profile for that insanity) and my life in general is and has always been a fucking mess, I’m an orphan, I had a mental break down this past semester, I’m suicidal, lonely...the list goes on and on and on, so personality wise I know I'm probably what most would run the opposite direction from, I know we all have "baggage" but I have an entire luggage rack. But most people don’t know that when first meeting me. Please know this is in no way a pity party, its reality, but I do admit I am curious.

    So in terms of looks am I just as ugly as my mental state? Old people, married woman and anyone else that would never be a reasonable prospect constantly are like "your so handsome" "don't be down on yourself, your good looking" blah blah blah. I'd like to believe them, but reality seems to contradict these statements, I’m single (have always been), I’m a virgin (for both sides) and on other networks (that I won't name) when I unlock my pics for guys my age...the messaging seems to always cease afterwards

    Is the older crowd jus trying to be nice and am I truly just the burnt hot dog at the back of the grill that no one wants? or is their a bigger picture I'm missing? Please be honest, I really don’t want to be “that guy” who is 4 but acts like he’s a 10 (and behind his back everyone is calling him a 4). I know most dudes on here have no idea what being “hard on the eyes” feels like and for that you guys are blessed. But am I indeed the curdled milk of my kind? Be honest. If so, how do I proceed in life (if I choose to proceed at all)?


    As cliche as it sounds, beauty is in the eye of the beholder--and alcohol helps a lot too. My bigger question is why do you think you were born the wrong color? Your race is purely based on skin pigmentation, not anything else. Everything else is culture and preference. Be happy with who you are, and who gives a shit about what others think. You'll never get over your baggage until you take the time to work on yourself. I strongly recommend seeing a therapist. I'm not saying it to be mean, but because they can really help.
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    Jun 08, 2012 2:39 AM GMT
    Do you have someone you can talk to? I would say focus on the things you love about yourself. Don't think life is easy because it is not. The experience you gain from this will make you a better person, and I hope you can empathize more with others because of it. Without understanding pain a person will not be able to see how their actions can be harmful toward other.

    All I can say is try to hang in there and find new passions in your life. You can not control or change what you are but you can change what you will become. It is hard to make changes but focus on one small goal a day and work your way up. I don't know how old you are but it takes time for acceptance, it is not a one day thing. Tell yourself what you like in life and be realistic with your expectation. Also this is online once again, take things lightly. I can not say much because our belief in life are different, but I can say that it begins with respecting yourself. Create and transform yourself into the person you want to be work hard, show respect to others, and most of all yourself. And what is wrong with being virgin? it is something positive, it's not hard to lose virginity. Some people think first time should be with the one that worths it. It is tricky but focus on what you want, not the "stereotypical gay concepts" of living.

    best of luck to you,
  • O5vx

    Posts: 3154

    Jun 08, 2012 2:52 AM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidHonestly, I'm not going to put a number on it and say if you are a 4, 6, or 8. Everyone's criteria is different.

    Are you drop-dead gorgeous, male model, photoshopped, head-turning, delicious slab o' man meat. NO.

    Do you have that Hollywood leading man, Denzel Washington look? NO.

    Are you a hedious troll that needs to wear a burlap sack over your head in public to keep respectable ladies from fainting and children from fleeing to the safety of their mother's skirts? NO.

    Are you ugly? NO.

    Are you simply unattractive? NO.

    Are you just as attractive as 98% of the world population? YES!


    Work on your mental health first and foremost. Become a friendly, kind, open, honest man of quality and you will attract the same as friends and lovers.

    Good luck to you.

    Now to read about that fetish of yours.



    This
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1166

    Jun 08, 2012 5:08 AM GMT
    Confidence is hot. I know ugly guys who get with super hot chicks. The gay world is a bit more shallow, but the same principle applies.

    Stop worrying about your looks and other aspects of your life and personality will improve, thus making you more attractive overall
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 08, 2012 5:12 AM GMT
    [quote][cite]whytehot said[/cite]Confidence is hot. I know ugly guys who get with super hot chicks.

    Don't compare gay men to women.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 08, 2012 5:20 AM GMT
    looks arent everything. but if you hate yourself you should see a therapist. and if you still think youre ugly after, then start lifting. muscles make almost everyone hotter.
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1166

    Jun 08, 2012 8:06 PM GMT
    smallerstud saidlooks arent everything. but if you hate yourself you should see a therapist. and if you still think youre ugly after, then start lifting. muscles make almost everyone hotter.


    No kidding. Especially on RJ... so many ugly men here are lusted after solely for their muscles.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jun 08, 2012 8:07 PM GMT
    hot people can distinguish homophones?
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    Jun 08, 2012 8:09 PM GMT
    Ask the black dude OP from the "pasty white" thread....icon_twisted.gif
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    Jun 08, 2012 8:13 PM GMT
    Just ask me, I'll tell you. It's shocking how often people actually come up to me and ask me if I think they are handsome or ugly. I always tell the truth, actually if someone is really very handsome, I always tell them they are very ugly because I figure their entire life they have been told how handsome they are and they need some ego deflation.
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    Jun 08, 2012 8:14 PM GMT
    Supra89 said am I truly just the burnt hot dog at the back of the grill that no one wants? .... But am I indeed the curdled milk of my kind?


    Perhaps, but what is abundantly clear is that you are of the "It was a dark and stormy night" literary persuasion.......icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 08, 2012 8:23 PM GMT
    How about not giving a shit whether people think your attractive or not. I stopped caring a long time ago. My aim in life is not to model or win a beauty pagent so what does being attractive to the mainstream matter?
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    Jun 08, 2012 8:26 PM GMT
    whateveryo saidHow about not giving a shit whether people think your attractive or not. I stopped caring a long time ago. My aim in life is not to model or win a beauty patent so what does being attractive to the mainstream matter?


    Statistically, more attractive people make more money. But if making lots of money isn't your goal in life, then I supposed you have a point icon_biggrin.gif