I came out to my best friends and mother today...

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    Jun 08, 2012 4:47 AM GMT
    This was a day of new things for me. Only around three people know I'm gay so it took some guts to "come out" to my best friends and mother.

    First, my best friend and his fiance. They both were very shocked and sat a bit quiet at first. I explained I'm not defined by my sexuality and it simply is what it is. Society puts the gay, straight, and bi labels on people, when in reality love comes in many different ways. My personality won't change, I just liked men. My best friend said "You've been my best friend since 2nd grade, and you'll always be the same Josh to me. I'll love you like a brother no matter what." His fiance reacted just about the same way.

    Next, my mother. Things didn't go so well. I told her as we were driving back from her boyfriends house at around 11:30pm. I just blurted it out and she was shocked. She sat quiet in the car, didn't ask much questions, and was a bit confused. She kept blaming herself saying I was gay because she fucked up my life. I told her it's not a choice and I'm still going to be myself no matter what.

    She can't even fucking look at me. She's embarrassed of me.

    I won't let it get me down though. I'm going to do some midnight biking and working out. Nothing like some extra reps to save the night haha! I'm just a little bit upset so I wanted to share it with you guys. Sorry for the unoriginal post it's just refreshing to talk I guess.

    Much love,

    Josh
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    Jun 08, 2012 4:53 AM GMT
    That's brave of you if you live in a homophobic area. Congrats on coming out.

    Your mom will change just give it some time.
    And nothing to be embarrassed about....you should be embarrassed of her for not understanding a simple concept like homosexuality.
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    Jun 08, 2012 4:57 AM GMT
    Wow! Congratulations, Josh. Your mother will probably come around eventually. She's just in shock right now.
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    Jun 08, 2012 4:59 AM GMT
    Thank you guys. We can't live life in fear of ridicule or guilt. Life is too short for that. And I'll be damned if I pretend to be something I'm not.

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    Jun 08, 2012 9:41 AM GMT
    Yay! Way to go! Your mom will come around. Congratulations on becoming a free human being.
  • Karl

    Posts: 5787

    Jun 08, 2012 9:42 AM GMT
    Congrats Josh !
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    Jun 08, 2012 9:45 AM GMT
    Congrats! Big french hug!
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Jun 08, 2012 9:47 AM GMT
    You've got some real guts there man. Congrats and I wish you the best. I'm sure you're mother will come around if she truly loves you.
  • KADROOK

    Posts: 1

    Jun 08, 2012 9:50 AM GMT
    Well done. It takes courage and you are brave and don't need to live a life of hiding and fear anymore. Your mum will understand eventually and you need to tell her that you want to be happy in life whatever. Keep your head up and keep smiling. Wish you All the best in your life.
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    Jun 08, 2012 10:10 AM GMT
    Sorry to hear that things did not go as well as you may have hoped with your mom, Josh. Hang in there man, and give it some time.

    Great to hear things went well with your best friend.

    FWIW, I'm proud of you. Things won't change unless we take responsibility for changing them. Good luck to you.
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    Jun 08, 2012 10:18 AM GMT
    Brave move, smart move. But yeah, there can be some tough moments. You did the right thing telling your mom. It may take her a while to come around, but it will happen and you'll both be better off because of it.
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    Jun 08, 2012 10:28 AM GMT
    Congratulations!

    This is a big step for someone so young. I think it takes a lot of courage to do what you did in a state like Alabama. You should be very proud of yourself.

    Your mom needs time to process this. During this period, just continue being the loving son you've always been and eventually she'll accept that this is who you are.

    The best thing you can do to help her along is show her that you are leading a happy and healthy lifestyle.
  • RSportsguy

    Posts: 1925

    Jun 08, 2012 10:43 AM GMT
    Congratulations Josh! Your Mom is in the shock moment. I wish you the best!
  • Shark100

    Posts: 234

    Jun 08, 2012 11:57 AM GMT
    Mate, you must feel so relief, now that people you love know it, do not worry your mother loves you, its just that it is not easy sometimes to digest this kind of news lol. Give her sometimes and show her your love... Good on you.


    Cheers!!
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    Jun 08, 2012 12:14 PM GMT
    Good for you, Josh! I hope your mom comes around and good things come to you! It's a brave thing to do at your age.
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    Jun 08, 2012 12:20 PM GMT
    Wait, Josh is gay? OK, I am shunning him. I had no idea. Gross.
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    Jun 08, 2012 12:27 PM GMT
    Hopefully it wont take long before she comes around!
    kuddos on your bravery!
    it's great your friend took it well.
  • spacemagic

    Posts: 520

    Jun 08, 2012 12:31 PM GMT
    Ditto what these guys said and congrats on taking this big step forward in your life.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jun 08, 2012 12:32 PM GMT
    Well congrats for taking the initative, awesome! As far as your mother, give her some time, she was shocked. She may come around and be fine. Probably has to work through some of her own demons. Parents can take a little extra
    patience. Hopefully her love for you will win out!
    icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jun 08, 2012 12:55 PM GMT
    Congrats, I agree that your mum is probably just a bit taken aback. Talk it out, reassure her it's no ones 'fault' and that you are happy, hopefully she will be too.
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    Jun 08, 2012 1:10 PM GMT
    Go get em tiger! And just remember where, I said WHERE, mom was raised and where she lives. With education and time hopefully she will be able to see the truth instead of what shes' been indoctrinated with! Give her time, give her the education she needs!
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    Jun 08, 2012 1:50 PM GMT
    Congratulations! Living out wins hands down over living in the closet.

    Remember that *you've* known you're gay for a while, it's still brand new to your mom. You've had a lot more time to deal with it, and like most of us you probably struggled with it a bit at first. So give your mom some time, she needs to make a big adjustment to what she knows about you.

    I also think that a lot of times she'll be reassured when she sees you with a good partner. At that point, it becomes more about family than sex. Parents want children to be happy, and if they see you with someone who loves you and cares about you, it can become less important who has what plumbing.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19136

    Jun 08, 2012 1:59 PM GMT
    Hey Josh -- Congrats on this major step towards living your life who you are. Mom will come around, she's just processing the bomb you dropped on her. It may take some time, not because she loves you any less, but rather she's just feeling a range of emotions from confusion to guilt to even fear of things she may know little about. Give her time and space, but be sure to be there for her when she is ready to talk.
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    Jun 08, 2012 2:14 PM GMT
    Congrats Josh, you've accomplished a very difficult challenge. Your mom will recognize that you're not changing (unless you put on those pearls and heels while she's around) and begin the process of understanding who you are. She'll go through all the grieving stages of denial, anger, sorrow, etc blaming herself and finally accepting that it is who you are. She'll grow to understand your sexuality better and she'll most likely be another advocate now that she has the first hand knowledge that it's not what defines a person but instead is just a part of who you are. Way to go Idaho! icon_smile.gif
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Jun 08, 2012 2:23 PM GMT
    Josh....Let your mother live with this information for awhile .She needs time to sort things out.....In the mean while, be proud of yourself...You decided to live a life void of lies to the individuals that you love the most.Second ...Exercise is a great stress reliever...Some of my best rationale can be tied to thinking while lifting...I've talked to ya several times,during those talks I've always been struck by your realness...Stepping out on inner strength and personal will is "just you"....I'm proud and honored you know a person like you...Lastly...This RJ community is here for you...ya a lot of us make light of various subjects...bullshit...brag...but at our cores we're brothers...when times get tough.... we come to the rescue...Hit me up anytime you need a sounding board...Love ya man.........Steve