Ever felt overwhelmed by someone you are dating?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 28, 2008 3:31 AM GMT
    So I'm sorta embarrassed about posting this question, but part of me feels desperate for the opinions of others. So hopefully someone can be my Dr. Frasier Crane to my question,


    The guy I'm seeing right now had been in 2 bad relationships, one when he was young and innocent with a guy who was 9+ years older and abused him emotionally. The second relationship he had with someone who didn't give a shit about him and abused him in other ways.

    Anyway here I come as the third, I am totally open, confident and eager to be intimate and share our lives with everyone around us.

    I am overwhelming him with my feelings, yet last week when I asked him to share his, he just stood at me glaring in the eyes across the table at starbucks. He doesn't know how to handle me and I feel that through me trying to help him, I'm pushing him away.

    Anyone can give me some advice how to handles this? I can't just not message him or text him.


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    Jul 28, 2008 3:39 AM GMT


    Hey oceanboy11,

    Visualize this.

    Two hands exerting pressure against each other. One hand draws back slightly and guess what happens? The other hand starts to gain ground. The first hand is then pushed back even further. Are we making sense so far?
    The answer is for hand two to stop, then retreat a bit, which will cause two things. The first hand will no longer feel pressure and the second is, the first hand may start exerting pressure again! If it does, you'll know there's something nice about it all, and if not, then stay back til the first hand DOES push or goes away. We both wish for things to work out well, but no one has a crystal ball, except maybe Sedative or Czar(who's no longer here, rats!)

    Hope that helps!

    -us
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    Jul 28, 2008 3:49 AM GMT
    Just step back and text him on non-emotional issues, like ask hiim out or whatever you did before the encounter.
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    Jul 28, 2008 3:59 AM GMT

    Hey Caslon!

    (sound of two hands clapping!)

    -Doug
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    Jul 28, 2008 4:01 AM GMT
    Thanks guys for the replies. I guess I came on too strong for quite awhile and he felt trapped maybe. Anyway it takes 2 to solve a problem and when one isn't interested, it won't work. We broke up! GRR....

    I think an ideal relationship is one where both people can find a solution together or at least try!!!

    icon_neutral.gif
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    Jul 28, 2008 4:07 AM GMT


    Yep, Big Love would never let what happened stand in its way.

    Hang in!

  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jul 28, 2008 10:59 AM GMT
    When he didn't say anything back to you in Starbuck's
    he just didn't know you were talking to him

    because he couldn't SEE you through all of his carry on emotional Baggage
    word of warning.... this is an omen of things to come
    not that you can't have a relationship with this man
    but you need to be aware that there is going to be some landmines along the way
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    Jul 28, 2008 2:25 PM GMT
    meninlove said

    Hey oceanboy11,

    Visualize this.

    Two hands exerting pressure against each other. One hand draws back slightly and guess what happens? The other hand starts to gain ground. The first hand is then pushed back even further. Are we making sense so far?
    The answer is for hand two to stop, then retreat a bit, which will cause two things. The first hand will no longer feel pressure and the second is, the first hand may start exerting pressure again! If it does, you'll know there's something nice about it all, and if not, then stay back til the first hand DOES push or goes away. We both wish for things to work out well, but no one has a crystal ball, except maybe Sedative or Czar(who's no longer here, rats!)

    Hope that helps!

    -us


    LOL, that was a great analogy! icon_biggrin.gif

    And who told you I got a crystal ball?! That's supposed to be top secret! icon_evil.gif
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    Jul 29, 2008 5:35 PM GMT
    thanks for everyone's input, at times I feel this forum has saved my ass in more ways than one! please RJ don't turn into a paysite!! LOL