Okcupid messaging

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 08, 2012 8:26 PM GMT
    Has anyone used okcupid? Just curious what people's experiences have been and what I should realistically be expecting out of this site. I just signed up a little over two weeks ago and don't seem to be getting much traction (yea, no, I understand, I should probably give it some time). But I've gotten quite a few profile views (filled it out rather completely imo) and my conversion rate to messages is basically zero. Also sent out some 15-20 messages but have gotten zero responses.

    I live in a big city (nyc) so would have thought there would be a little more activity for a new profile, but perhaps not. Understand people are busy as well but if they visit my profile and I don't receive a reply by some 3-4 days later, I assume they aren't interested. Do people usually take awhile to reply? New to the dating game.

    I'm also on okcupid looking for friends...my messages are pretty short (maybe 5 sentences or so) but always customized/catered to something the person has written on their profile. Everyone I message mentions that they are interested in new friends as well (and I always first check the racial preference question)...so not sure why people wouldn't necessarily be friendly or want to open up a conversation. Any veterans have experiences to share? Appreciate the advice!
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    Jun 08, 2012 8:30 PM GMT
    Oh, I rode the OKcupid wild bronco for a while and I lived to tell some wild tales, let me tell you. You looking for junkies or meth heads? Or recovering junkies or meth heads? Religious freaks? Recovering religious freaks? I would get hundreds of messages day and night, people wanted everything, dates, FWB, FB, FBW, you name it, there was an F involved, I got a message.
    I dropped it, I could only take so much F.
    OKcupid is the best though.
    Stick with it. Nothing quite like it. What with the pictures, and the questions, and the emails.
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    Jun 08, 2012 8:52 PM GMT
    Interesting experience - seems like the guys in nyc are slightly saner icon_biggrin.gif but all the more disappointing when they don't respond. Wow, hundreds of messages. At this rate, for me to even surpass the 100 total messages threshold, i'll need to be on the site for at least two years given that i've gotten only one message since joining!
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1167

    Jun 08, 2012 8:56 PM GMT
    plentyoffish and okcupid are pretty much the only sites where at least some people are sane and not just looking to hook up. Everywhere else is just for hookup, and pay sites are for ugly desperate people with no social skills.

    Make your first message unique, but keep it to a couple lines max; otherwise you'll sound desperate
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    Aug 06, 2012 12:19 AM GMT
    Sane? There are still crazies on there.... take my most recent correspondence with an asshole!

    Him: Great profile, cute too and we have a high match rate icon_smile.gif

    Me: Hey what's up man? I think we've chatted a bit in the past. How is your summer going?

    Him: Summer is going well minus the horribly hot weather. When are we gonna meet up? What would be ideal?

    Me: Oh I don't mind the hot weather, and the mild winters can be nice haha. Meetup? What are you looking for?

    Him: I'm looking for a connection with a great guy.
    Him: What are you looking for? Sex?

    Me: oh no haha, not looking for hookups

    Him: why did you ask me what im looking for?

    Me: Because I didn't know if you were just looking for a hookup or something else.

    Him: I'm obviously not interested in a hookup, you dumb fuck!

    This is coming from a guy who has the word "sex" in his profile 10+ times and claims he "treats people with respect." Yeah right.

  • jackthejock

    Posts: 395

    Aug 07, 2012 1:10 AM GMT
    I met my boyfriend on OKCupid and we've been together 14 months.

    I think you have to just make it clear in your profile that you are looking for a boyfriend/partner/long term relationship. Don't put "hookup" or "sex" or "FWB" on there at all. Fill out your profile, answer lots of questions to get a good match (plus, it's kinda fun haha) and don't respond to messages from people who don't have a face pic, list looking for casual sex, or don't fill out their profiles.

    I messaged a few guys, one I really liked but he ended up not going to the school in my area and I never met him in person. The first guy I met with I had a coffee date and then a week later a lunch date, after which he told me he wasn't feeling chemistry and didn't hear from him again. The second guy I met is now my boyfriend though, we hit it off right away. We were 94% match, 90% friend match, 0% enemies.