"Are you clean, neg, play safe?"

  • musclebeef30

    Posts: 8

    Jun 09, 2012 3:05 PM GMT
    So I've been asked this question when chatting with guys. But it got me thinking...

    If someone is going to play safe then what does it matter if the other guy is clean/neg?

    or

    Do some guys ask this question to enable them to decide if they can play bare?

    I also understand the "assume everyone is poz(HIV+) and play safe". If you are of that point of view then is there really a point in asking this question?

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  • musclebeef30

    Posts: 8

    Jun 11, 2012 9:30 PM GMT
    Really? No one asks or gets asked this question ??????
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    Jun 11, 2012 9:55 PM GMT
    musclebeef30 saidReally? No one asks or gets asked this question ??????
    All the time and its disgusting. Your first post says it all!

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    Jun 11, 2012 10:05 PM GMT
    A poz friend of mine claims that when a man asks that question, it's really an invitation to have unprotected sex. And he may be right about that.
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    Jun 11, 2012 11:46 PM GMT
    I definitely believe that there is an importance in asking this question, and listening for the response and how it is said.

    I never play bare, but I nearly always ask a guy his status before going back home to play. I use his response (hesitation on his side is also a response) in my final decision to go further. I've played (safe) with guys who told me without hesitation, or even before I asked them, that they're +. For me it's an additional confirmation of their honesty/decency, and that they respect me and my desire to be safe. It's an additional element in making for a more relaxed/fun encounter.

    I also always assume that everyone may be + and doesn't know it so I play safe regardless. A friend asked a guy this question and the initial response was "One should always assume someone is +." Had the guy responded immediately to his question, that he was + and then said that, my friend would have considered continuing with him. Instead it was an immediate turn off to my friend.