More than one okcupid date at a time?

  • whytehot

    Posts: 1167

    Jun 10, 2012 12:10 AM GMT
    This guy and I have been texting for a couple days after chatting on okcupid, and when I asked him if he free for coffee sometime, he was pretty upfront (props to him), saying that he just went on a date yesterday, doesn't know if the other guy likes him, but feels bad meeting more than one person at a time.

    I've been having recurring coffee/movie/drink dates with 2 other guys from okcupid for a few weeks now, so I was surprised that some people expect to be exclusive even for that phase. Is there an unwritten rule I'm not aware of?
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    Jun 10, 2012 12:14 AM GMT
    That place is full of uggos and prudes.
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    Jun 10, 2012 12:15 AM GMT
    No, there's no rule. It's a matter of what you feel comfortable doing. Just be open and honest with the people you are meeting. Let them know if/when you are exclusive with someone.
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1167

    Jun 10, 2012 12:41 AM GMT
    I guess for me, assuming that I only meet the same guy once a week (due to both our schedules) the first month or so doesn't really count as "dating", but more "friends". How does one get to know a stranger well enough for something as light as a kiss even after a month?

    dontknowwhy saidThat place is full of uggos and prudes.


    Not everyone is looking for a hookup. For NYC, based on my criteria, there are over 20 guys who are goodlooking and fit my type, at least 6 of them are somewhat interested in me since we're chatting, and i'm seeing 2 of them. Where would you suggest that is better lol
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    Jun 10, 2012 12:42 AM GMT
    whytehot saidI guess for me, assuming that I only meet the same guy once a week (due to both our schedules) the first month or so doesn't really count as "dating", but more "friends". How does one get to know a stranger well enough for something as light as a kiss even after a month?


    Everyone defines it differently. If you like taking things more slowly, then that's fine. Just make sure to talking to the guy(s) you're seeing so that they understand what works for you.

    Some people have great chemistry together and connect very quickly. Other people take longer to open up and get to know each other. There are no set rules. It would be a lot easier if there were.
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    Jun 10, 2012 12:49 AM GMT
    whytehot said
    dontknowwhy saidThat place is full of uggos and prudes.


    Not everyone is looking for a hookup. For NYC, based on my criteria, there are over 20 guys who are goodlooking and fit my type, at least 6 of them are somewhat interested in me since we're chatting, and i'm seeing 2 of them. Where would you suggest that is better lol


    HAHA they wish that I would hook up with them
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1167

    Jun 10, 2012 12:52 AM GMT
    I mean, the guys i'm seeing are still checking their okcupid accounts daily, and presumably messaging/replying other guys, so it seems strange that in-person chatting need to be exclusive for some guys.
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    Jun 10, 2012 12:53 AM GMT
    whytehot saidI mean, the guys i'm seeing are still checking their okcupid accounts daily, and presumably messaging/replying other guys, so it seems strange that in-person chatting need to be exclusive for some guys.


    Like I said, they are prudes who are probably too ugly to have fun.
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    Jun 10, 2012 12:58 AM GMT
    whytehot saidI mean, the guys i'm seeing are still checking their okcupid accounts daily, and presumably messaging/replying other guys, so it seems strange that in-person chatting need to be exclusive for some guys.


    Chatting online isn't the same as meeting someone in person. You don't really know what their situation is or what they are doing online.
  • Just_Tim

    Posts: 1723

    Jun 10, 2012 1:25 AM GMT
    Never heard of OKCupid... Maybe that's the problem... Depending on what I was looking for I probably wouldn't personally set up multiple meetings...
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    Jun 10, 2012 1:34 AM GMT
    Oh for goodness sake, dating is a numbers game.
    Since when does meeting some guy for coffee constitute a date anyway? That's a meeting!

    icon_rolleyes.gif@Americaicon_rolleyes.gif
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1167

    Jun 10, 2012 2:31 AM GMT
    Exactly! At this stage, i'm just betting on a few horses, so to speak. I'm actually really jealous and conservative once i get into a real relationship.
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    Jun 10, 2012 3:15 AM GMT
    northoz saidicon_rolleyes.gif@Americaicon_rolleyes.gif


    Because all 300+ million of us think the same way? icon_wink.gif
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    Jun 10, 2012 3:17 AM GMT
    DudeInNOVA said
    northoz saidicon_rolleyes.gif@Americaicon_rolleyes.gif


    Because all 300+ million of us think the same way? icon_wink.gif


    yes; yes you do icon_lol.gif
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    Jun 10, 2012 3:20 AM GMT
    northoz saidyes; yes you do icon_lol.gif


    Fine! You've convinced me! I'm moving to Australia! When your government asks who gave such a crazy person the idea to move there, I'm going to blame it all on you! icon_mad.gif
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    Jun 10, 2012 4:18 AM GMT
    So goes in real life; so goes for a dating website... no?
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1167

    Jun 10, 2012 5:49 AM GMT
    Forgot to mention I texted him back "haha same for me last night, except i lost interest in him. keep in touch!"

    now i regret it and feel like an idiot
  • Bakerboy

    Posts: 70

    Jun 10, 2012 6:55 AM GMT
    Double-booking is fine, but it's not something you talk about. If your guy is admitting it, he's a tool or extremely naive.

    Just my two cents.
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    Jun 10, 2012 6:57 AM GMT
    DudeInNOVA said
    northoz saidyes; yes you do icon_lol.gif


    Fine! You've convinced me! I'm moving to Australia! When your government asks who gave such a crazy person the idea to move there, I'm going to blame it all on you! icon_mad.gif

    no worries mateicon_cool.gif
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    Jun 10, 2012 7:02 AM GMT
    Not that I have ever been in a position where I'm basically swimming in dates.
    But, I probably wouldn't date two people at once even in the very early stages.
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    Jun 10, 2012 7:03 AM GMT
    whytehot saidThis guy and I have been texting for a couple days after chatting on okcupid, and when I asked him if he free for coffee sometime, he was pretty upfront (props to him), saying that he just went on a date yesterday, doesn't know if the other guy likes him, but feels bad meeting more than one person at a time.

    I've been having recurring coffee/movie/drink dates with 2 other guys from okcupid for a few weeks now, so I was surprised that some people expect to be exclusive even for that phase. Is there an unwritten rule I'm not aware of?



    You're right. He's wrong. Only an idiot tries to be exclusive during the dating process! That's why it's called "dating". You only go exclusive once you're absolutely sure this is the guy for you and you have zero desire to date anyone else. Stick to your guns. You're being smart....he is not.
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    Jun 10, 2012 7:04 AM GMT
    northoz saidno worries mateicon_cool.gif


    Phew! I thought we were going to have an international incident for a moment there! icon_wink.gif
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    Jun 10, 2012 7:05 AM GMT
    Scruffypup saidYou're right. He's wrong. Only an idiot tries to be exclusive during the dating process! That's why it's called "dating". You only go exclusive once you're absolutely sure this is the guy for you and you have zero desire to date anyone else. Stick to your guns. You're being smart....he is not.

    How is this guy an idiot? Because he doesn't follow your dating philosophy?
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    Jun 10, 2012 7:10 AM GMT
    cold said
    Scruffypup saidYou're right. He's wrong. Only an idiot tries to be exclusive during the dating process! That's why it's called "dating". You only go exclusive once you're absolutely sure this is the guy for you and you have zero desire to date anyone else. Stick to your guns. You're being smart....he is not.

    How is this guy an idiot? Because he doesn't follow your dating philosophy?



    No. It's just common sense. What kind of moron goes exclusive after a few text messages? icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jun 10, 2012 7:13 AM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    cold said
    Scruffypup saidYou're right. He's wrong. Only an idiot tries to be exclusive during the dating process! That's why it's called "dating". You only go exclusive once you're absolutely sure this is the guy for you and you have zero desire to date anyone else. Stick to your guns. You're being smart....he is not.

    How is this guy an idiot? Because he doesn't follow your dating philosophy?

    No. It's just common sense. What kind of moron goes exclusive after a few text messages? icon_rolleyes.gif

    They went on a date. I like how you still didn't answer how that makes him an idiot. You, instead, just called him a moron.