Is anyone here 100% in the closet? Do you think you will EVER come out?

  • Thorbaugh

    Posts: 110

    Jun 10, 2012 5:37 PM GMT
    Are any guys here 100% - meaning NOT ONE PERSON in your life knows you're gay (website communities don't count).

    Would you ever come out or are you going to your deathbed with your secret?
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    Jun 10, 2012 6:23 PM GMT
    I had sex in a walk-in closet once. Does that count?
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    Jun 10, 2012 6:29 PM GMT
    Almost everyone who is now out of the closet was at one stage in the same situation you are.

    And I'm pretty sure the overwhelming majority of them are glad they finally caved in and told someone, I know I was.
  • Dominican_Gen...

    Posts: 379

    Jun 10, 2012 6:30 PM GMT
    The two posters up top make it sound like been in the closet is something to be proud of. Grow a pair!
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    Jun 10, 2012 7:25 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidI had sex in a walk-in closet once. Does that count?


    That's why your a homosexual, because your closet is your home.icon_lol.gif
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    Jun 10, 2012 8:57 PM GMT
    In Canada, I am 100% out and in India, I am 50% out.
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    Jun 10, 2012 9:06 PM GMT
    It's never something easy to do. I was just lucky I found the right person for me and realised that being with them was worth the drama it would cause in the long-term.

    But, I was lucky enough to be in a position where I knew it wouldn't result in something terrible. Good friends and family really are a blessing and it's moments like this where you see who really cares.

    Obviously things vary depending on peoples situation, but 'coming out' was one of the best things that ever happened to me.
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    Jun 10, 2012 9:09 PM GMT
    ATLKSU04 saidRight now, death bed! I might risk having a relationship with a guy if I found somebody I thought was worth it though. In public it would to have to always stay on friendly terms though!


    and what's the point of hiding it? How do you think it will affect your life if people find out that you're gay?
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    Jun 10, 2012 9:14 PM GMT
    I feel like what you do with your life should be your business. Why is it anyone's business who you like or what you like. Regardless of what others say there is a stereotype and you automatically get labeled. Your whole life changes too and your looked at differently. You don't owe anyone an explanation. Just like they put labels on different clothes or products it puts things in categories. Whether you wear diesel or wrangler they are still jeans. The same thing goes for people. We all have things that differentiate us from each other so why should we allow ourselves to be grouped. At the end of the day we are all human beings and that is all that matters.
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    Jun 10, 2012 9:16 PM GMT
    I'm not Out at work, but when I move to the next job, I plan to be. It's amazing the kind of things people say about gay people when they don't know who's really around.
  • tautomer

    Posts: 1010

    Jun 10, 2012 9:16 PM GMT
    Dominican_Gent saidThe two posters up top make it sound like been in the closet is something to be proud of. Grow a pair!


    Unless your livelyhood is at stake (i.e. you could lose your job, home, income, etc.) then I completely agree. At least be out to SOME people.
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    Jun 10, 2012 9:20 PM GMT
    Num1Passion saidI feel like what you do with your life should be your business. Why is it anyone's business who you like or what you like. Regardless of what others say there is a stereotype and you automatically get labeled. Your whole life changes too and your looked at differently. You don't owe anyone an explanation. Just like they put labels on different clothes or products it puts things in categories. Whether you wear diesel or wrangler they are still jeans. The same thing goes for people. We all have things that differentiate us from each other so why should we allow ourselves to be grouped. At the end of the day we are all human beings and that is all that matters.


    you're right it is your business. But why would you care if someone groups you into a "gay" category? You said so yourself - jeans are just jeans whether they're Diesel or Wrangler. Gay or straight you're still a human being. What anyone else says or thinks about you doesn't matter as long as you are happy and confident with who you are. Don't you think so?
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    Jun 10, 2012 9:53 PM GMT
    ricky1987 saidIn Canada, I am 100% out and in India, I am 50% out.


    I once had to move to a completely homophobic Caribbean island.. but like real gay-hating and stuff... and had to go completely in the closet again... THAT was excruciating... I had always been things like "partly out" and had been full on out for years by that time.... i was under so much anxiety there, just by having to cover everything up again... I finally collapsed out there and left after four months
  • FRE0

    Posts: 4865

    Jun 10, 2012 10:36 PM GMT
    I was outed to my parents when I was 20 then disowned. Fortunately things have changed since then and it is less common for parents to disown their gay kids.
  • silverfox

    Posts: 3178

    Jun 10, 2012 10:37 PM GMT
    What does 100% out mean?

    Am I running down the street screaming "Mary I am Gay! I am Gay!" 24/7 no.
    So I guess I am less than 100% out. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jun 10, 2012 10:55 PM GMT
    FRE0 saidI was outed to my parents when I was 20 then disowned. Fortunately things have changed since then and it is less common for parents to disown their gay kids.

    You can't imagine how profoundly upset I am to hear this. Sometimes I work with homeless GLBT youth, most often those who tragically have HIV.

    It's interesting that our US society seldom punishes parents who abandon their underage children, because they are gay. Another social burden brought to us by Christian fundamentalists and Republicans.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19133

    Jun 10, 2012 11:03 PM GMT
    I think if you are 100% in the closet you wouldn't be on this site. As for the blame of parents disowning their kids being the fault of Christians and Republicans....I prefer that the blame be placed on "bad parenting", though our resident delusional "Light" Colonel would have us think differently.

    huge_roll_eyes.gif
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    Jun 10, 2012 11:15 PM GMT
    well, i'm from Egypt, most people here are homophobic + it's also considered as something illegal. so far other than my gay friends, everyone else thinks i'm str8, i hope i can keep it this way till i get my own place or leave the country icon_rolleyes.gif
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19133

    Jun 10, 2012 11:30 PM GMT
    southbeach1500 said

    And WHO has injected politics into this topic??? (Once again....)



    He can't help himself, SB...Just humor the poor soul. icon_wink.gif
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    Jun 10, 2012 11:39 PM GMT
    huhwhat saidI'm not Out at work, but when I move to the next job, I plan to be. It's amazing the kind of things people say about gay people when they don't know who's really around.


    I'm in the same position, and I couldn't agree with you more. In fact, I just left my job of 12 years, and one of the upsides is that I will be "out" in my next job. Not screaming out, mind you; but no longer feigning heterosexuality and being evasive about my personal life.

    It is funny to hear what people say when they think the entire crowd is straight. That's one of the reasons I chose not come out in my last job...a lot of folks would have been worried about all of the crap that they'd said in the past. Part of me wanted some of my co-workers to have that "oh shit" moment, but most of them were my friends and I didn't want to put them through that.
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    Jun 10, 2012 11:39 PM GMT
    Sparks saidIt's never something easy to do. I was just lucky I found the right person for me and realised that being with them was worth the drama it would cause in the long-term.

    But, I was lucky enough to be in a position where I knew it wouldn't result in something terrible. Good friends and family really are a blessing and it's moments like this where you see who really cares.

    Obviously things vary depending on peoples situation, but 'coming out' was one of the best things that ever happened to me.


    +1
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    Jun 10, 2012 11:43 PM GMT
    southbeach1500 said
    CuriousJockAZ saidI think if you are 100% in the closet you wouldn't be on this site. As for the blame of parents disowning their kids being the fault of Christians and Republicans....I prefer that the blame be placed on "bad parenting", though our resident delusional "Light" Colonel would have us think differently.



    And WHO has injected politics into this topic??? (Once again....)



    Yeah, Art, WTF?? I don't normally call you out on stuff like this, but this was a "perfectly normal" thread until you had to start banging your liberal drum over the evils of Republicans. This has nothing to fucking do with Republican vs. Democrat. Leave that shit for a political debate, please.
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    Jun 11, 2012 12:41 AM GMT
    mio1984 saidwell, i'm from Egypt, most people here are homophobic + it's also considered as something illegal. so far other than my gay friends, everyone else thinks i'm str8, i hope i can keep it this way till i get my own place or leave the country icon_rolleyes.gif


    That's a completely different story! You face death if you come out. Obviously, you shouldn't put yourself in danger.
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    Jun 11, 2012 4:56 AM GMT
    GreenHopper said
    ricky1987 saidIn Canada, I am 100% out and in India, I am 50% out.


    I once had to move to a completely homophobic Caribbean island.. but like real gay-hating and stuff... and had to go completely in the closet again... THAT was excruciating... I had always been things like "partly out" and had been full on out for years by that time.... i was under so much anxiety there, just by having to cover everything up again... I finally collapsed out there and left after four months


    In India it is not any good either. Homosexuality is just decriminalized in 2009 but that is just on paper. Gays are usually seen as mentally challenged sociopaths by an overwhelming majority of people. Though by the time I finished grade 12, I had way too much of it and blurted out to my family (which was a split second decision) and since then I have come out to a few of my closest friends. I do think it was a good decision even though it costed me a few frienships. Eventually, I realised I will be better off moving abroad even though I have a great economic security here. India is too dangerous for gay people in general.
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    Jun 11, 2012 7:58 AM GMT
    ATLKSU04 said
    k3l3k0 said
    ATLKSU04 saidRight now, death bed! I might risk having a relationship with a guy if I found somebody I thought was worth it though. In public it would to have to always stay on friendly terms though!


    and what's the point of hiding it? How do you think it will affect your life if people find out that you're gay?


    Being either straight or gay would probably make the decision to hide this part or not easier, but being Bi makes it harder i think. Although my reason for hiding it is my family. I'm close to my family, but because of their beliefs there is no question about being disowned or not. Being disowned would affect my life more than you could imagine! From my experience guys are something i lust for, but not people that i would usually have a relationship with. When i think of a serious relationships, marriage, etc, women always come to mind! I created this online profile out of the curiosity to know if guys could be more since I'm not willing to put myself out there in real life.


    If you have to question it, you're gay and you know it.

    Don't be a coward and wife up a girl when you know you'll always have thoughts about men.

    Come out of the closet, your family might surprise you.