Welcome. Please step into the REALJOCK confessional....

  • silverfox

    Posts: 3178

    Jul 28, 2008 9:30 PM GMT
    This is the thread where you can admit to something that you may be embarrassed about, or feel guilty about, or feel ashamed about. It can be trivial or frivolous. It can be heavy and important. It can be something you regret doing or something you regret not doing.

    Here are the rules.

    You read the confession of the last person who has posted. You should respond to this person positively.
    Try to offer comfort, compassion, and encouragement. Perhaps you can relate to his situation and offer insight. You should avoid making judgments.
    If you can't respond positively, don't post- wait for someone else.

    Then it is your turn to post your confession.

    You can get something off your chest...
    and help a fellow real jock.

    Here goes mine.....


    I have to admit that I am crazy about the new song by the Pussycat Dolls. When I hear "When I Grow Up" I can't help dancing like an idiot. The song keeps playing over and over in my head. I am a 48 year old man- I don't even think my 12 year old niece likes this song...it's too juvenile! I doubt that someone can be considered a "realjock" and also enjoy a song like this.
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    Jul 28, 2008 9:48 PM GMT
    LOL. Again that's gender stereotyping. Why should you be ashamed of something just because it's not 'manly' enough. icon_razz.gif Yeah you're still a jock.

    Okay, my turn.

    I don't feel guilty, nor ashamed. I'm effing mad.

    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/243337

    I hate it when people read NONEXISTENT things into my posts. icon_mad.gif

    I'm logging off until I can be calmer.
  • ShawnTX

    Posts: 2484

    Jul 28, 2008 10:38 PM GMT
    Bah...I think he's an idiot anyways. Here's $5 bucks...where's my happy ending?
    icon_razz.gif

    I have nothing to confess. I don't regret anything, I'm ashamed of nothing I've ever said or done. Seriously.
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    Jul 28, 2008 10:39 PM GMT
    it's good to express yourself, sedative, and you should keep doing so. that thread, like so many others, got too heated too fast. i hope you feel calmer soon, and i look forward to seeing you back in the war zone.

    my confession:

    i'm finding myself judging people on their looks too much lately. i've never been a body snob before. i don't know where this is coming from, and it makes me feel bad.
  • joggerva

    Posts: 731

    Jul 28, 2008 10:41 PM GMT
    my suggestion: Think back about all of the people that have positively impacted your life. Were they all model material? I doubt it.

    my confession: I just finished off a piece of leftover cheesecake. ugh icon_sad.gif
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    Jul 28, 2008 10:47 PM GMT
    silverfox1 saidThis is the thread where you can admit to something that you may be embarrassed about, or feel guilty about, or feel ashamed about. It can be trivial or frivolous. It can be heavy and important. It can be something you regret doing or something you regret not doing.

    Here are the rules.

    You read the confession of the last person who has posted. You should respond to this person positively.
    Try to offer comfort, compassion, and encouragement. Perhaps you can relate yo his situation and offer insight. You should avoid making judgments.
    If you can't respond positively, don't post- wait for someone else.

    Then it is your turn to post your confession.

    You can get something off your chest...
    and help a fellow real jock.

    Here goes mine.....


    I have to admit that I am crazy about the new song by the Pussycat Dolls. When I hear "When I Grow Up" I can't help dancing like an idiot. The song keeps playing over and over in my head. I am a 48 year old man- I don't even think my 12 year old niece likes this song...it's too juvenile! I doubt that someone can be considered a "realjock" and also enjoy a song like this.


    This--is your confession? icon_smile.gif
  • auryn

    Posts: 2061

    Jul 28, 2008 10:56 PM GMT
    joggerva saidmy suggestion: Think back about all of the people that have positively impacted your life. Were they all model material? I doubt it.

    my confession: I just finished off a piece of leftover cheesecake. ugh icon_sad.gif


    That would be bad only if your four housemates didn't help you with it while you all sat around the kitchen table in your silk pajamas.

    I left my workout clothes at home, so I didn't go to the gym this morning. I was in a funk due to an unnecessary arguement started by someone else yesterday.
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    Jul 28, 2008 10:56 PM GMT
    To the guy above me. I admire your self worth to carry no shame. I wish I could acquire that same approach over one certain thing in my past.

    I'm going to put this down and consider it my final punishment. I've tried every way I know how to fix this situation but I still feel shame over it. Accountability is good. So here goes.

    I once met a man by the name of Roger. He's a great guy. Hard working and would do just about anything for anyone. I instinctively knew Roger was attracted to me. Privately I found the guy dry and boring and wasn't at all attracted to him. I kept the friendship going for only one reason. Financial gain. I needed information from him that I could benefit from so I strung him along. At one point ( and this is where it gets real low ) I even allowed him to blow me knowing it would keep him around.

    Well, the second I got all the information I needed off of him I brushed him off. I could tell he was destroyed. He even wrote me a letter confessing he had fallen in love with me. I felt like dirt. I made a vow I'd never do anything like that again to another person. I tried telling a few friends but they brushed it off and said people use other people all the time. That was of no help.

    I'd never done something like that and could feel his emotional pain. When I received my financial reward I felt so guilty I took half the earnings, got it in 100's and put it in an envelope. I Put a small note saying thanks for the advice and kept it at that. I Had a trusting friend deliver it to Roger. I never have heard back and I wouldn't know what to say because in doing that I'm sure he knows exactly what my motive was all along. I just want to say publicly, I'm sorry Roger.

    Edit: my response was to ShawnTX. I guess I didn't get this posted fast enough.
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    Jul 28, 2008 11:00 PM GMT
    Wow, jsttennis. That's pretty big of you to own up to. My respect for you just leapt even more.

    I'm finally at a place where I'm grounded enough to say that I never loved any of the guys I dated. By the end of the first month or two, I was always emotionally checked out. I loved that they loved me, and I guess I found security in knowing I'd always be the one to do the leaving and the hurting. I'm enough of a control freak I always needed that fundamental imbalance.

    But here's my real confession. For the first time, it would actually bother me if I lost this one. I don't have that edge to the relationship this time. I like the guy, and I see - and actually really want - a future with him. And that's a little scary, too.
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    Jul 28, 2008 11:08 PM GMT
    Yikes, ZD, that took some guts.

    I don't actually think I've been in love with anyone, and the thought dismays me. I've had two relationships and I can't recall ever feeling that thing that people describe as being "in" love.

    This embarrasses me terribly.
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    Jul 28, 2008 11:13 PM GMT
    In the same boat as both of you; jprichva and zdrew! Thanks for sharing, the BEST thing I can say is that you both have seem to overcome it, CONGRATS!!

    I know I have loved them, however I can be honest and say I have not been IN love with any of them, and beginning to believe that it's just going to be me, myself and I, forever!
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    Jul 28, 2008 11:17 PM GMT
    Some might say that all you need is to love yourself. That fulfillment could arguably trump loving some one else. Furthermore, remember its never too late to find "the one."


    My confession.

    I'm ashamed that I can't think of any covert embarrassments or atrocities to divulge. My line of work (counseling at a drug rehab clinic) demands that I remain true to myself and others. I've distilled most of my secrets in an open setting. All that remains here is that I'm dissembling my inner-most thoughts because they're displayed elsewhere.
  • kinetic

    Posts: 1125

    Jul 28, 2008 11:27 PM GMT
    I wouldn't be too ashamed. Your line of work helps people get on their feet and I can definitely appreciate that.. I'm also not sure that your inner most thoughts are something you want to put in a public forum. i know I'd be too scared..

    Here's my confession:
    I recently stopped talking to my ex-boyfriend who is going through a difficult transition.
    He just left Boston and moved back to San Diego and it pains me too much to talk to him. I know that he is crazy about me and wanted me to move out there and get back together with him, but I'm far too scared because our break-up this past January is what led me to move to Houston...
    I'm scared shitless of being hurt by him again and I'm not sure I will ever be able to trust him, so as much as it kills me I don't think I can talk to him anymore...
  • styrgan

    Posts: 2017

    Jul 28, 2008 11:32 PM GMT
    DenverClimber3 said

    I'm ashamed that I can't think of any covert embarrassments or atrocities to divulge. My line of work (counseling at a drug rehab clinic) demands that I remain true to myself and others.


    it's okay. we need more semi-perfect walking around who are willing to devote some or all of their time to making other people's lives better.


    i'm in a relationship right now where i've been really selfish and have basically applied a double standard because i know i can get away with it. i'm embarrassed to be acting so blatantly my age.
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    Jul 28, 2008 11:44 PM GMT
    kinetic said
    Here's my confession:
    I recently stopped talking to my ex-boyfriend who is going through a difficult transition.
    He just left Boston and moved back to San Diego and it pains me too much to talk to him. I know that he is crazy about me and wanted me to move out there and get back together with him, but I'm far too scared because our break-up this past January is what led me to move to Houston...
    I'm scared shitless of being hurt by him again and I'm not sure I will ever be able to trust him, so as much as it kills me I don't think I can talk to him anymore...


    Kinetic: thanks for sharing that. it's ok that you feel that you can't trust him anymore. if you had to move to Houston for that, that says something. it is unfortunate that you can't talk to him anymore, however, ultimately, you need to take care of you. and if that means putting distance between you and someone who hurt you, then by all means, go for it. you're a good kid.

    My confession: i'm deathly scared of being a failure. it's easy and annoying to say that my upbringing had something to do with it, unfortunately it's true, i never had much encouragement as a kid. and i'm still trying to fight with myself and tell myself that i'm a brilliant person with massive potential. it embarrasses me to say that i can't seem to shake off this childhood fear.
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    Jul 28, 2008 11:46 PM GMT
    kryptonic said
    kinetic said

    My confession: i'm deathly scared of being a failure. it's easy and annoying to say that my upbringing had something to do with it, unfortunately it's true, i never had much encouragement as a kid. and i'm still trying to fight with myself and tell myself that i'm a brilliant person with massive potential. it embarrasses me to say that i can't seem to shake off this childhood fear.


    You're not alone.

    That is both my comfort and my confession.
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    Jul 28, 2008 11:49 PM GMT
    kryptonic said
    kinetic said
    Here's my confession:
    I recently stopped talking to my ex-boyfriend who is going through a difficult transition.
    He just left Boston and moved back to San Diego and it pains me too much to talk to him. I know that he is crazy about me and wanted me to move out there and get back together with him, but I'm far too scared because our break-up this past January is what led me to move to Houston...
    I'm scared shitless of being hurt by him again and I'm not sure I will ever be able to trust him, so as much as it kills me I don't think I can talk to him anymore...


    Kinetic: thanks for sharing that. it's ok that you feel that you can't trust him anymore. if you had to move to Houston for that, that says something. it is unfortunate that you can't talk to him anymore, however, ultimately, you need to take care of you. and if that means putting distance between you and someone who hurt you, then by all means, go for it. you're a good kid.

    My confession: i'm deathly scared of being a failure. it's easy and annoying to say that my upbringing had something to do with it, unfortunately it's true, i never had much encouragement as a kid. and i'm still trying to fight with myself and tell myself that i'm a brilliant person with massive potential. it embarrasses me to say that i can't seem to shake off this childhood fear.


    Great post, I really find that I have this issue as well. I like to make visual reminders. I have a goals and Projects board for both home and work, and everything is written on those note cards that are one color front and another on the back. When i complete a task I flip it over and write the outcome. That way when I'm having a bad day, I can relive all my successes for the moment, but not dwell on my failures.


    My Confession:

    I am so over people judging me by what I look like or how much I weight. No matter what, when a guy looks at my stats on any website... this or another I either get the oh... i've gotta run or dead silence. I understand that I am not stick thin... but I am not a blubbering slop either.

    For craps sake I workout 4 times a week solo, 2 more with a trainer, and eat brocolli and chicken like we are gonna run out of them soon.

    Being 6'5" and large framed means I will NEVER EVER weigh less than 200 lbs... EVER and the guys that judge based on their own personal height weight ratio need to get on with their bad selfs.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Jul 29, 2008 12:25 AM GMT
    epedx said
    My Confession:

    I am so over people judging me by what I look like or how much I weight. No matter what, when a guy looks at my stats on any website... this or another I either get the oh... i've gotta run or dead silence. I understand that I am not stick thin... but I am not a blubbering slop either.

    For craps sake I workout 4 times a week solo, 2 more with a trainer, and eat brocolli and chicken like we are gonna run out of them soon.

    Being 6'5" and large framed means I will NEVER EVER weigh less than 200 lbs... EVER and the guys that judge based on their own personal height weight ratio need to get on with their bad selfs.


    You're a big guy - tall I mean. Why should an arbitrary number define you? I'd love to be 6'5" and my current weight.

    My advice? Drop the stats from your profile. You look good, you're healthy so who cares how much you weigh?
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    Jul 29, 2008 12:34 AM GMT
    zdrew saidWow, jsttennis. That's pretty big of you to own up to. My respect for you just leapt even more.

    I'm finally at a place where I'm grounded enough to say that I never loved any of the guys I dated. By the end of the first month or two, I was always emotionally checked out. I loved that they loved me, and I guess I found security in knowing I'd always be the one to do the leaving and the hurting. I'm enough of a control freak I always needed that fundamental imbalance.

    But here's my real confession. For the first time, it would actually bother me if I lost this one. I don't have that edge to the relationship this time. I like the guy, and I see - and actually really want - a future with him. And that's a little scary, too.


    Thanks man. I struggle with that confession of mine all the time. Some would probably say I've punished myself enough by carrying that private guilt but I never want to look back on my life and think I intentionally hurt someone. It has kept me on my toes so that I would never do the same thing again.

    BTW I know all your fears when it comes to love. I have rebuked it enough times and wonder if I haven't pushed the right guy away just to protect my own vulnerability. I think thats the key. Allowing yourself ( and applying it to myself as well ) to be vulnerable.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Jul 29, 2008 12:43 AM GMT
    I forgot to confess. I'm scared to lose weight. I was a chubby baby, a 'husky' kid and a fat teen. I had a time where I was unhealthy to lose weight, put it piled back on quick. My identity has always been the funny fat guy, and I think I use that comfort to keep me from losing weight and getting in shape. Part of me wants it, but the other part sabotages it. I know I can never been exactly what I want, and I need to accept what I could become.
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    Jul 29, 2008 12:58 AM GMT
    Timberoo saidI forgot to confess. I'm scared to lose weight. I was a chubby baby, a 'husky' kid and a fat teen. I had a time where I was unhealthy to lose weight, put it piled back on quick. My identity has always been the funny fat guy, and I think I use that comfort to keep me from losing weight and getting in shape. Part of me wants it, but the other part sabotages it. I know I can never been exactly what I want, and I need to accept what I could become.

    Some use their weight as armour. But we are not our bodies so if you decide to lose some of that protection, you'll still be the funny guy with the same heart and soul and ability to identify yourself in your own way. Either way, you're beautiful.

    I struggled with identity as well when I went back to an ex-boyf only because he made me feel like i was the sexiest and most beautiful guy in the world at a time when I wasn't feeling so. I didn't have feelings for him and I know I used him to give me that which I couldn't give myself. I was still crushed when he ended it. what goes around.....

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    Jul 29, 2008 1:01 AM GMT
    ItalatinTwo weeks ago an ex who I hadn'd met in a couple of years called to go out for lunch. We both like each other a lot, but since I broke up with him about 5 yrs ago, it seems he never got really over it. But heck, it was just lunch on a working day, so I went for it. He talked of him (including his last relationship) and confessed to be feeling kind of lonely. While I didn't express more than friendship, when he said he'd like to go out some time, i said yes. So last week we went out to a bar and had a few beers. He then started to show unhappiness and as we left the bar he started crying saying he was feeling lonely... then he said he still loved me, huged me and cried on my shoulder... we sat down I comforted him. He said he knew I might not keep him, but that he still would spend the night with me if i would take him. Well, I've been single myself for a month now, and was starting to feel lonely myself... so I said ok. We slept together and in the next morning he left cause he had to work. While I acted starting from the principle that he is as adult as much as I am and I am single right now, I felt kinda bad once he left. It's been a few days now and I've been thinking of writing him an email, even though he hasn't contacted me since then... also because I don't think I'd want to deal with another unexpected comeback in the future again. (sorry if I typed a lot!)


    uh-oh...

    Crying?!

    Man, it may be serious! icon_confused.gif I don't know about this but I think you should keep an eye on him, help him get back on his 'single' feet. Sure, make sure he knows it may never be back the way it was,a nd eventaully you'd have to part ways, but I think it's vital that you don't make him feel REJECTED at all.

    I hate to say this, but he's acting and thinking the same way I did when I went nearly suicidal over my first and only unrquited love.

    No confessions atm, I'm cool now. icon_razz.gif

    Please respond to italatin and Joshua.
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    Jul 29, 2008 1:26 AM GMT
    I once got an erection during a physical icon_surprised.gif

    has that ever happened to anyone else? lol
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    Jul 29, 2008 1:26 AM GMT
    Re-hooking up with an ex is always a bad idea...old feelings are better left dead and buried. I feel for you though but maybe just email him a kind note and try to be a friend and let the sex happen with someone you have less emotional baggage with.

    My confession: I have a crush on a guy and feel like an inadequate 13yo all over again.icon_redface.gif Im doing my best to not contact all the time but I tend to overplay and scare all guys off....Ive been single for 5 mos after a 2 yr LTR. Im realizing Im now more of a relationship guy but how do I make sure I go slow when I like someone, or play hard to get? Im really picky, but overplay when I find someone I like. Any tips?
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    Jul 29, 2008 3:39 AM GMT
    Chuy2010 saidRe-hooking up with an ex is always a bad idea...old feelings are better left dead and buried. I feel for you though but maybe just email him a kind note and try to be a friend and let the sex happen with someone you have less emotional baggage with.

    My confession: I have a crush on a guy and feel like an inadequate 13yo all over again.icon_redface.gif Im doing my best to not contact all the time but I tend to overplay and scare all guys off....Ive been single for 5 mos after a 2 yr LTR. Im realizing Im now more of a relationship guy but how do I make sure I go slow when I like someone, or play hard to get? Im really picky, but overplay when I find someone I like. Any tips?


    My confession is basically the same. No tips from me. I can say that it's all about self control, something I haven't conquered yet. icon_neutral.gif