crush on a "supposedly" straight guy!

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    Jun 11, 2012 3:49 AM GMT
    Hey all, this is my first thread here and love to hear your thoughts ;)

    So, it has been more than six months since I met this gorgeous beautiful most friendly extremely handsome guy whom I think he is straight. And since that day I feel like he charmed me, he put a spell on me. I can't stop thinking of him and I think it is more than a crush. We have lots of common things and interests and every time we meet we discuss every thing from politics to religion and he is very liberal and he knows I am gay but never sent me messages, though sometimes I feel he became extra friendly when he knew I am gay (maybe it is only me)!

    And whenever I think I started getting over him, after a day or two he jumps into my mind from no where.

    My problem is that I want to stop thinking of him yet I don't want him to be out of my life (sometimes I miss his voice so badly I just make any silly excuse to talk to him) and I can't tell him because it would ruin everything I have right now (and I don't want him out of my life) or if I told him and he turned out to be gay but not attracted to me which will be more difficult for me.

    I am totally LOST!

    So guys has anyone had something like this and if so how did you deal with it?
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    Jun 11, 2012 4:17 AM GMT
    Since it's a crush I supposed I could lend a hand...

    You have two options:

    The first is to be honest. I'm sure there are ways to "let him know" without making your friendship weird if he isn't interested. I mean, if he's a friend of yours then perhaps it wouldn't be too much of a stretch just to ask him if he's into other guys - which you can simply explain your asking by the usual "well, you don't gawk at any girls" or something of that nature. From there you should be able to get some sort of conversation out of him. And if he isn't into you and is gay then...tough break? It's gonna hurt like hell but it's better to just rip the bandaid off then let it sit. Rejection sucks. Everyone has been through it one time or another.

    Your second option is to let this crush fester until he gets taken by someone else (girl or guy) and you get your heart broken that way. And that is going to hurt a lot more then the other since you can only really blame yourself for being so coy and didn't take your chance when you had it. This was me on my last crush so yeah - albeit I didn't know the guy personally. icon_neutral.gif I was hurting for a month. I'm still hurting now, Still punch a wall when I think about it sometimes.

    And just because Jenna Marbles is awesome.
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    Jun 11, 2012 4:40 PM GMT
    Hey ice thanks ;)
    Well I don't have the guts to tell him but I know he doesn't have a girl friend (and he is 29 icon_exclaim.gif ) but I guess I will tell him after gathering my courage because it is a very crappy situation I am in.
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    Jun 11, 2012 4:56 PM GMT
    The only way to get over your angst is to be upfront about your sexuality, so you can know where he stands. Otherwise, you'll continue to live in a state of frustration because of the unknown. So, three things can happen: 1- he's straight or 2- he's also gay but sees you only as a friend or 3- he's gay and wants to date you.
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    Jun 11, 2012 9:49 PM GMT
    hey again well I will try to come out to him but not now yet still i must be so brave to admit my love to him!
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    Jun 11, 2012 9:56 PM GMT
    IndyCub saidhey again well I will try to come out to him but not now yet still i must be so brave to admit my love to him

    No, no. Do not admit love. Do not say those words. it's stalkerish. Believe me, you'll get farther if you just say you would bang him. Right now, it isn't love (or at least love in the way your thinking) it's infatuation. You can say crush, fuck, bang. Love is too far.
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    Jun 11, 2012 10:29 PM GMT
    Hey man, thanks for the support!
    Whether it's crush or not it is a huge amount of feelings that I can't avoid and weirdly enough I am scared that this thing will take over my life.

    I don't fear rejection because it is that unavoidable part of life (almost everyone has a type) but when it comes to this guy i just don't want to lose him icon_sad.gif
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    Jun 11, 2012 11:14 PM GMT


    IndyCub saidHey man, thanks for the support!
    Whether it's crush or not it is a huge amount of feelings that I can't avoid and weirdly enough I am scared that this thing will take over my life.

    I don't fear rejection because it is that unavoidable part of life (almost everyone has a type) but when it comes to this guy i just don't want to lose him icon_sad.gif


    This is just unhealthy, and you need to step back and get a grip. What I am getting here is that you are swimming in the deep end of the river denial. It sounds to me lie your case building him into your dream lover, and that is pretty unfulfilled ground.

    The fact that he is 29 and has no girlfriend (that your aware of) does not imply gay. But I think you kind of already know that judged by your hesitance to broach the subject with him. If your gut was really that sure there was a nano-chance that hesitation wouldn't be there.

    You need to put some dedicated distance between you two for a while. Get out and meet someone you KNOW is gay. Get your mind off of this, and stretch your wings a little. You say you want to keep him in your life, if that's your number one goal then put your money where your mouth is.

    Anything short of that is going to drive you to do something you will regret, you're already walking a thin line to creeperville, population YOU. It's only a matter of time before he realises there is something seriously off with your attention. Do you really want to be THAT guy?

    Sorry, I know this isn't what you want to hear. But for the sake of your own sanity and self respect, drop this. WORST case scenario if I am wrong? He decides he misses you and initiates something. DO NOT hang onto that hope. Drive such thoughts to the edge of town and leave them there.

    Get on with your life.
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    Jun 12, 2012 8:20 PM GMT
    NoNoNoYes said

    This is just unhealthy, and you need to step back and get a grip. What I am getting here is that you are swimming in the deep end of the river denial. It sounds to me lie your case building him into your dream lover, and that is pretty unfulfilled ground.

    The fact that he is 29 and has no girlfriend (that your aware of) does not imply gay. But I think you kind of already know that judged by your hesitance to broach the subject with him. If your gut was really that sure there was a nano-chance that hesitation wouldn't be there.

    You need to put some dedicated distance between you two for a while. Get out and meet someone you KNOW is gay. Get your mind off of this, and stretch your wings a little. You say you want to keep him in your life, if that's your number one goal then put your money where your mouth is.

    Anything short of that is going to drive you to do something you will regret, you're already walking a thin line to creeperville, population YOU. It's only a matter of time before he realises there is something seriously off with your attention. Do you really want to be THAT guy?

    Sorry, I know this isn't what you want to hear. But for the sake of your own sanity and self respect, drop this. WORST case scenario if I am wrong? He decides he misses you and initiates something. DO NOT hang onto that hope. Drive such thoughts to the edge of town and leave them there.

    Get on with your life.


    I def do not want to become the creepy guy and def do not want to lose him as a friend. I will keep it a very platonic "crush" deep inside me because although what i have been through i like this feeling (i have never had an emotional "crush" this bad) that i am deeply interested in him so badly.

    BTW, do not ever think that i gave up life because of that! In fact this never changed my sexual appetite or lowered my sex drive at all (though sometimes i think i meet other guys just to forget him). Since I embraced my sexuality i have never felt like this (everything to me was just a hook up or maybe FWB that turned into reg, no emotions at all) and this is my first time i feel this thing.

    And honestly i have another fear, what if i came out to him that i am into him (he knows i am gay) and he accepted that and wanted to date me or even having sex with me , what if after that i just lost interest in him(although i doubt this, anything is possible)?
    I honestly don't know and this is why i love to keep it to myself (this raging feeling that sometimes burns me)!
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    Jun 12, 2012 8:22 PM GMT
    tell him you wanna jump on dat diq and see how it goes.

    YOLO bitch
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    Jun 12, 2012 8:28 PM GMT
    breatheonme said
    YOLO


    that's right you only live once, but still...

    icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
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    Jun 12, 2012 8:30 PM GMT
    When I have a crush on a straight guy, I just usually sit close to him and do this

    tumblr_lpndn8CsEu1qcz0q1.gif

    Works every time icon_smile.gif
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    Jun 12, 2012 8:37 PM GMT
    Lash saidWhen I have a crush on a straight guy, I just usually sit close to him and do this

    tumblr_lpndn8CsEu1qcz0q1.gif

    Works every time icon_smile.gif


    hahahahahaha icon_razz.gif

    well if it works for you it is kinda difficult to work for me,
    cutie pie icon_wink.gif