I hate being gay.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 12, 2012 6:14 AM GMT
    It sucks...it's socially awkward...and it's so limiting. I have yet to form any substantial relationship, friendship even, with a gay guy. There's just no cohesion, I either have more feelings for someone than they do for me or they have more feelings for me than I for them. Being friends with straight men is just easier, under the pretense that they think I'm straight, there's no concern whether I am into them or not from their end, we bond over common interests and activities without any worry about the whole sexual awkwardness I encounter time and time again, in fact I'm not really into any of my straight friends, even ones that I may have at one time thought were attractive, I know them too well and they're more like "brothers" to me.

    Case in point, tonight a guy asked me if we could be friends. I have yet to meet him, he's someone I've talked to a few times on grindr. Never in my life have I thought of friendship as something you ask for, it's just not something people do, it's a natural occurrence. Then I got to thinking about the conversations I've had on here with guys and on places like grindr, it's basically a series of one sided compliments (e.g. me complementing another guy or another guy complementing me) in some awkward sort of artful dodging ritual, like some sort of test to see how far one can go before the other person is made so uncomfortably he either stops speaking completely or blocks the other guy. God forbid any party be upfront an actually speak their mind, no it has to be some sort of "game" in which awkward exchanges are made such as asking for friendship or coming up with a "symbolic" yet "pseudo-benevolent" way of saying "not if you were the last man on earth," all while stringing the poor SOB along.
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    Jun 12, 2012 12:54 PM GMT
    Your first mistake:

    grindr.icon_wink.gif
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1167

    Jun 12, 2012 3:09 PM GMT
    392525_10150709788753181_561423180_96816
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    Jun 12, 2012 3:21 PM GMT
    NewNDiscreet saidIt sucks...it's socially awkward...and it's so limiting. I have yet to form any substantial relationship, friendship even, with a gay guy. There's just no cohesion, I either have more feelings for someone than they do for me or they have more feelings for me than I for them. Being friends with straight men is just easier, under the pretense that they think I'm straight, there's no concern whether I am into them or not from their end, we bond over common interests and activities without any worry about the whole sexual awkwardness I encounter time and time again, in fact I'm not really into any of my straight friends, even ones that I may have at one time thought were attractive, I know them too well and they're more like "brothers" to me.

    Case in point, tonight a guy asked me if we could be friends. I have yet to meet him, he's someone I've talked to a few times on grindr. Never in my life have I thought of friendship as something you ask for, it's just not something people do, it's a natural occurrence. Then I got to thinking about the conversations I've had on here with guys and on places like grindr, it's basically a series of one sided compliments (e.g. me complementing another guy or another guy complementing me) in some awkward sort of artful dodging ritual, like some sort of test to see how far one can go before the other person is made so uncomfortably he either stops speaking completely or blocks the other guy. God forbid any party be upfront an actually speak their mind, no it has to be some sort of "game" in which awkward exchanges are made such as asking for friendship or coming up with a "symbolic" yet "pseudo-benevolent" way of saying "not if you were the last man on earth," all while stringing the poor SOB along.


    Don't know why you would expect much more than hookup conversation from Grindr - that's pretty much the expectation, so I think the guy was being pretty straighforward when he wanted to break the "rule."

    Meet people somewhere besides hookup sites. RJ can be a good training ground - I don't treat people here as only a potential hookup opportunity and I have plenty of people I like and with whom I consider myself friends, virtual and sometimes otherwise.

    Look for somewhere to meet gay men in real life, based on common interests rather than just sex. Sports teams, clubs, etc.

    As a gay men your relationships with other gay men will ALWAYS be more complicated, in a similar way that straight male/female friendships can have sexual or emotional undertones. Get over it. It's part of who you are.

    And I don't know why your friendships with straight men need to involve you hiding in the closet. Once they get over it, there's no awkwardness, unless you interject it.
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14372

    Jun 12, 2012 3:29 PM GMT
    There is no legitimate reason to hate being gay. It is certain, conservative parts of society whose primitive minded disapproval that can make being gay awkward and difficult. But why cave into the ignorant morons on the righticon_question.gif Being gay is just as pure, natural, and beautiful as being bi or straight. So stop putting yourself down over your natural sexual orientation. You are what you are and there is no changing it.
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    Jun 12, 2012 9:37 PM GMT
    TropicalMark saidYour first mistake:

    grindr.icon_wink.gif


    I agree completely. There is so much unneeded vapidity that populates out of that application it's ridiculous. Only stark things come out of that app: perverted & married closet cases, frivolous sex-mongers, men that are so far up their ass in being transparent, spewing out trite about how "elite" they are for certain races, stlyes, "preferences" and whatnot. No thank you.
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    Jul 09, 2012 7:25 AM GMT
    I still hate being gay...it's so grim...I just don't really see the point of anything anymore.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jul 09, 2012 2:47 PM GMT
    NewNDiscreet saidI still hate being gay...it's so grim...I just don't really see the point of anything anymore.


    Well you're very melodramatic. I'm sure you'll feel differently once you meet new people or find a boyfriend.
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    Jul 09, 2012 3:39 PM GMT
    Or...you may be right, for you, it's your outlook that limits you and plenty of straight friend who wish they could have my life and I rarely return that interest. If your gay life sucks and it sounds like it does, it's because of the way you choose to live it. Want it different and possibly better? Change what YOU do and stop meeting clods off pick up sites and expecting them to be much more than a dick in a trendy t-shirt.
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    Jul 09, 2012 3:48 PM GMT
    kekekekeke

    so many self-loathing gays on this site.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 09, 2012 6:55 PM GMT
    Hmmm...sucks for you.
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    Jul 10, 2012 12:35 AM GMT
    You think thats bad? Try being Yourself and expect people to accept you at face value... that sucks. Being gay is the last thing I'm worried about.