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My ass is too tight! How to loosen it up?

  • studjockct Posts: 17
    QUOTE Jul 29, 2008 4:24 AM GMT
    My ass is tight and bottoming is painful, but I really want to get more into it - I'm sure I'd like it if it wouldn't hurt so much.

    Any suggestions?

    I'm trying to keep myself relaxed. Took a slow gradual approach over several weeks, starting with gently feeling up my hole, progressing to a really small butt plug and now I can handle a dildo about 4-1/2 inches around for 5 or 10 minutes.

    After that my sphincter gets a kinda burning feeling. Not fun.

    When am I going to be able to enjoy getting fucked? I'm 34...has my asshole grown permanently tight?


  • gymguy1 Posts: 1736
    QUOTE Jul 29, 2008 5:05 AM GMT
    Try applying more lube when you feel the burning or discomfort. That should make it feel a lot better. No pain no gain. It may hurt the first couple of times but once you get use to it it feels great.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jul 29, 2008 2:00 PM GMT
    Where is MunchingZombie when you need him?

    Have you tried sex toys to get some practice in? Try silicon dildos that are small then work your way up if you can with bigger ones. As suggested lots of lube is also a must.

    Don't be surprised though if you never get totally comfortable (I never did). That being said sex can still be a lot of fun anyways.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jul 29, 2008 3:19 PM GMT
    Water based lubes burn me every time, try silicon lubes instead, it sounds to me it's the lube thats your issue, once the toy is in for a few minutes there shouldn't be any burning.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jul 29, 2008 3:35 PM GMT
    You do know enough to push out when he pushes in, right?
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jul 29, 2008 7:18 PM GMT
    Damn, Cas, I didn't know that -- glad you mentioned it. I thought that I was wierd because it hurt so much. Thanks for sharing.

    I have a feeling that won't alleviate the pain up inside, though.

    I prefer silicone lube -- very silky.

    When I first came out, I went to a sex store and talked with them. They recommended getting some anal toys, starting small at first and building on the size over time. It stretches the anus enough to be less painful and more pleasurable (of course with lube).
  • silverfox Posts: 3173
    QUOTE Jul 29, 2008 7:44 PM GMT
    studjockct saidMy ass is tight and bottoming is painful, but I really want to get more into it - I'm sure I'd like it if it wouldn't hurt so much.

    Any suggestions?






    Perhaps you should just work on perfecting your oral skills instead.....

  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jul 29, 2008 9:03 PM GMT
    Try sitting on a bollard. That should do the trick.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jul 29, 2008 9:06 PM GMT
    redheadguy saidTry sitting on a bollard. That should do the trick.

    Try defining "bollard" ...
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jul 29, 2008 9:11 PM GMT
    Don't you have bollards in Canada?
  • studjockct Posts: 17
    QUOTE Jul 29, 2008 9:26 PM GMT
    Caslon5000 saidYou do know enough to push out when he pushes in, right?


    No, I didn't! But I did start noticing that it seemed like maybe the dildo goes in better when I push out. So now I know this is the right thing to do....thanks!

    Still, I need to sign up for a Bottoming 101 class, lol



  • studjockct Posts: 17
    QUOTE Jul 29, 2008 9:37 PM GMT
    silverfox1 saidPerhaps you should just work on perfecting your oral skills instead.....


    Oh, my oral skills are superb. No worries there.

    But I want to start scoring with all the hotties I've had to pass up 'coz they wanted to fuck but I didn't ;^)
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jul 29, 2008 9:55 PM GMT
    Try lotsalube and a small buttplug, wear the buttplug for a few minutes before you take the penetration. You could let your partner put it in for you while you warm up the meat with your mouth.
    That pushout thing, well, that's OK but I like to milk my man with my sphincter, pushout, then kegel back up and repeat, a lot, and fast, they love it.
    When you're all done, do kegel exercises to tighten back up. Otherwise, after the years you start getting way too loose.

  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jul 29, 2008 10:16 PM GMT
    Just take a DEEP breath and let it ease right in!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jul 29, 2008 10:22 PM GMT
    redheadguy saidDon't you have bollards in Canada?

    I dont know if they have bollards in Canada. I am in Virginia...first permanent English settlement in the New World, the Old Dominion, Mother of States, and Mother of Presidents.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jul 29, 2008 10:25 PM GMT
    Come over this weekend. I guarantee you that after the weekend, you will be loose as a goose.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jul 29, 2008 10:40 PM GMT
    All of these are good tips and good advice. I think it all boils down to if you are comfortable with the person and able to relax.

    Ive had guys that were huge and had no problem cuz I was relaxed and comfortable with them and other guys that were just average size and just couldn't take it.

    Also, you have to have someone thats willing to be patient and work with you a little especially if you are just starting out, dont get someone that just wants to shove it right in cuz that will hurt and turn you off to the idea.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jul 29, 2008 11:42 PM GMT
    SurrealLife saidWhere is MunchingZombie when you need him?


    *swoops in* Here I am! And it looks like a lot of good advice has been given so far.

    What kind of lube are you using? If it starts to hurt after 5-10 minutes your lube could be drying out. A good oil based lube like BoyButter is great for solo play and is compatible with all toys (but I wouldn't use it with electro toys).

    Have you tried using an inflatable plug? After you work yourself over with a smaller one, stick in an inflatable. It is a great way to work up from smaller to larger toys. But for the love of god, if it starts to burn or hurt deflate, pull out, and try again later. Never keep going even if it hurts. It is a great way to injure yourself and makes disease easier to spread.

    Finally, poppers and numbing sprays or lubes might be fine when you are playing alone, but don't use them with someone else unless you have an experienced hole. You will just end up taking more than your butt can chew.

    Play safe.
  • ShawnTX Posts: 2484
    QUOTE Jul 29, 2008 11:59 PM GMT
    Maybe you can show us a video of what you're doing just to make sure we're giving the best advice we can.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jul 30, 2008 12:34 AM GMT
    ShawnTX saidMaybe you can show us a video of what you're doing just to make sure we're giving the best advice we can.


    Nice to know the Texas heat has not dulled your sassiness!
  • ShawnTX Posts: 2484
    QUOTE Jul 30, 2008 12:49 AM GMT
    HEY!!! I'm in counselor mode, don't question my professionalism SurrealLife!

    Seriously studjock...the video...now.

  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jul 30, 2008 12:50 AM GMT
    prove it!
  • studjockct Posts: 17
    QUOTE Jul 30, 2008 7:17 AM GMT
    ShawnTX saidMaybe you can show us a video of what you're doing just to make sure we're giving the best advice we can.


    not a problem - i'll get right on it

    ...lots of good help here...thanks
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jul 30, 2008 11:12 AM GMT
    Photobucket
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jul 30, 2008 4:48 PM GMT
    redheadguy saidTry sitting on a bollard. That should do the trick.


    The grand canyon I am not!!!!!


    A bollard is the cement or metal post, usually around doors, which prevents you from parking your car too close to the building. Sometimes (like in London), they are at each end of a median or at the edges/corners of traffic islands.

    I have worked for architecture firms.