Jun 12, 2012 9:54 PM GMT
I have been broken up with my ex for a month now. We were together for 8 months, lived together for six of them. I am 30 yrs old, he is 23. I am out gay, he was DL at the time. Yes we were a mixed couple blk/wht. So here is a little backround....after we started dating it was an intense relationship. deeply in love...so much that he wanted to come out to his family and tell them he was gay. It was very hard...they did not accept it at first especially dating a white guy. i was there for him as he cried on my shoulder everyday. eventually it got better, they accepted us. We got a place together, started a life together...so sure this was the real thing. As time progressed, he got bored...started going online behind my back...eventually cheating and that caused our breakup. He moved out. I tried to just stay away from him...to heal. But thats nearly impossible when we Live in the same area, shop at the same places, go to the same bars, have the same gay friends. He is always around in some way. So, we started talking again, he said he still loves me...wants to be friends. Wants to still hangout, spend the night, have casual sex with me. I have given this a try...all it does is stir up all those emotions of love i have for him. Its kills me to know he sleeps with me and other guys, that i now live alone in this apartment that was once ours....memories all around me. We have talked about getting back together and he says someday we will but right now he "dosent want to worry about or answer to anyone but himself" This kills me inside...all i want is us back. So what do i do? I am lost...its hard to get over a guy you see everywhere, a guy who says he loves you, a guy that is so nice. He is a good guy...just selfish i guess only wants to worry about what makes him happy. It feels so good to lay with him, to touch him...then kills my soul when he walks out the door in the morning. Man....what do i do?? i cant eat, sleep, work without him always on my mind....nobody else compares to him. I have tried meeting other guys....they just dont compare.