How do I get the ball in my court?

  • dynocoop

    Posts: 22

    Jun 13, 2012 3:35 PM GMT
    I have had a lot of bad dating experiences in the past. But, now I have met this guy that I can see myself with. We talk almost every day but, I feel like the ball is in his court. We had a great date and kissed for the first time and it was awesome. He isn't the type that just wants in my pants and that's one thing that makes me like him a lot.
    Since the date I find myself being more eager than him to want to go on another date and hang out. He's always "busy" which I can understand because of his job. But, how do I make him be the one who wants me. How do I show that I am interested but still that I am not going to just jump up to hang with him? I have never been good at the playing hard to get thing and I don't even know how to do it without having someone just lose interest! I really like this guy and I want to make it work somehow. I have the time to take it slow... But I just want to be chased for once...not chase.
  • BmwKid92

    Posts: 1097

    Jun 13, 2012 4:13 PM GMT
    grow up
  • dynocoop

    Posts: 22

    Jun 13, 2012 5:39 PM GMT
    haha I am grown. I asked for advice not a slam icon_smile.gif
  • nappi

    Posts: 91

    Jun 13, 2012 5:52 PM GMT
    Make plans with some friends, tell him you have plans, you'd like him to come, but understand if he's busy...?

    That's the best I got
  • dynocoop

    Posts: 22

    Jun 13, 2012 5:57 PM GMT
    yeah thats a good idea! I am just trying to come off interested but not too interested. He plays sand volleyball tomorrow I was thinking of just going up to watch him play tomorrow with a friend. icon_lol.gif
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    Jun 20, 2012 3:33 AM GMT
    dynocoop saidI have had a lot of bad dating experiences in the past. But, now I have met this guy that I can see myself with. We talk almost every day but, I feel like the ball is in his court. We had a great date and kissed for the first time and it was awesome. He isn't the type that just wants in my pants and that's one thing that makes me like him a lot.
    Since the date I find myself being more eager than him to want to go on another date and hang out. He's always "busy" which I can understand because of his job. But, how do I make him be the one who wants me. How do I show that I am interested but still that I am not going to just jump up to hang with him? I have never been good at the playing hard to get thing and I don't even know how to do it without having someone just lose interest! I really like this guy and I want to make it work somehow. I have the time to take it slow... But I just want to be chased for once...not chase.


    I have a different take on this.

    Sounds like with this guy, you are the one chasing, so you'll have to accept that. If he wanted to hang out again, he would make time for you and not use the "busy" excuse. Also, you cannot make him be the one who wants you.

    Like you, I have no idea how to "play hard to get". So what I do is I just go about my own business and I patiently waited until a guy likes me enough to want to "chase" me.



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    Jun 20, 2012 5:24 AM GMT
    Let me give my two cent tip icon_smile.gif which i followed and
    Try to know his birthday and then his sun zodiac sign. I am talking only based on my experience though.I tried to know his color, his possible desires, his place of heaven, his turn on and so many. This is not to pretend but if you really love this person, you will find yourselves more comfortable doing all of this to have his attention and he on the other hand needs a reassurance that you are the "one" for him. The moment he realizes, he is all for you then;)
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    Jun 20, 2012 5:27 AM GMT
    dynocoop saidI have had a lot of bad dating experiences in the past. But, now I have met this guy that I can see myself with. We talk almost every day but, I feel like the ball is in his court. We had a great date and kissed for the first time and it was awesome. He isn't the type that just wants in my pants and that's one thing that makes me like him a lot.
    Since the date I find myself being more eager than him to want to go on another date and hang out. He's always "busy" which I can understand because of his job. But, how do I make him be the one who wants me. How do I show that I am interested but still that I am not going to just jump up to hang with him? I have never been good at the playing hard to get thing and I don't even know how to do it without having someone just lose interest! I really like this guy and I want to make it work somehow. I have the time to take it slow... But I just want to be chased for once...not chase.


    I'd say get a hobby to help take your mind off of him. That way when he's busy, you'll be busy too.
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    Jun 20, 2012 5:30 AM GMT
    Balls in courts are for games.
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    Jun 20, 2012 5:31 AM GMT
    As soon as you turn it into a game, and try to make him chase you...odds are, he won't make the chase...
  • stevendust

    Posts: 398

    Jun 20, 2012 5:37 AM GMT
    7Famark saidAs soon as you turn it into a game, and try to make him chase you...odds are, he won't make the chase...
    This. I can be apprehensive but as soon as I feel someone isn't being upfront and is trying to manipulate me to go out, I'm done. Don't play games, just be honest.
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    Jun 20, 2012 5:38 AM GMT
    ^^Agree.
    But, to use your own terms, being the 'chaser' means that you have the balls to pursue what you want. Thats something to be proud of! I think what you are looking for is a man thats equally willing to chase you too. This just takes a little patience. I think forcing it may be a bit disappointing.
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    Jun 21, 2012 6:29 PM GMT
    dynocoop saidI have had a lot of bad dating experiences in the past. But, now I have met this guy that I can see myself with. We talk almost every day but, I feel like the ball is in his court. We had a great date and kissed for the first time and it was awesome. He isn't the type that just wants in my pants and that's one thing that makes me like him a lot.
    Since the date I find myself being more eager than him to want to go on another date and hang out. He's always "busy" which I can understand because of his job. But, how do I make him be the one who wants me. How do I show that I am interested but still that I am not going to just jump up to hang with him? I have never been good at the playing hard to get thing and I don't even know how to do it without having someone just lose interest! I really like this guy and I want to make it work somehow. I have the time to take it slow... But I just want to be chased for once...not chase.


    One quick advice: "He's just not into YOU" icon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gif
  • hahahehehoho

    Posts: 24

    Jun 21, 2012 6:38 PM GMT
    I dont think its a good idea to go see him. I think it may make you look a little too eager and desperate. Not to be harsh. Give him some space. Umm I think it would be good to wait for another date and blow him away. In the meantime spend time with friends icon_smile.gif. Enjoy the summer weather! Sorry i cant really help much but hope things turn out for the best ^^
  • JJ_Atoli

    Posts: 295

    Jun 21, 2012 6:46 PM GMT
    Stop calling. Stop texting. Make plans with other people. Pretty much forget about him. Avoid him. 'I'm pretty sure you could even actively act like you dislike him and that would work'
    Turn the tables.
    If he's into you and he's really interested - he'll go 'well damn. Where did dude go? Normally he's calling and texting and inviting me places. What happened to all the attention?'
    And he'll realize that if he wants you and wants your attention back that he'll have to start making contact first and being active in communicating with you.
    If you don't hear from him as much then that means he's not into - or else he would have noticed that you up and disappeared. This has been my advice. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jun 21, 2012 6:49 PM GMT
    I think it's safe to say that after what seemed to be a successful first date and a kiss... yet he's still too busy to see you? He's not into you, man. It pains me to say that because I know how shitty rejection feels.
    I dunno, sometimes there are legitimate excuses to not being readily available for a guy you don't know very well though. At this point the only thing you can do is see if that's the case. Don't make contact with him - let him come to you. He knows how to get in touch with you so let him.
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    Jun 21, 2012 11:30 PM GMT
    Have you told him about your cool doll collection yet? I'm pretty sure if you told him all about your really cool doll collection, that whole doll thing would be right in your court right then, right there. Yep. Tell him about your dolls.
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    Jun 21, 2012 11:38 PM GMT
    Don't just show up to his volleyball game to watch with a friend.
    that might embarrass him

    and make you look super clingy and needy and fem IMO

    just be cool brutha. be smooth, dont act desperate.
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    Jun 21, 2012 11:52 PM GMT
    You get a life. That's how.

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    Jun 22, 2012 12:09 AM GMT
    JJ_Atoli saidStop calling. Stop texting. Make plans with other people. Pretty much forget about him. Avoid him. 'I'm pretty sure you could even actively act like you dislike him and that would work'
    Turn the tables.
    If he's into you and he's really interested - he'll go 'well damn. Where did dude go? Normally he's calling and texting and inviting me places. What happened to all the attention?'
    And he'll realize that if he wants you and wants your attention back that he'll have to start making contact first and being active in communicating with you.
    If you don't hear from him as much then that means he's not into - or else he would have noticed that you up and disappeared. This has been my advice. icon_biggrin.gif


    This.
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    Jun 22, 2012 12:30 AM GMT
    Don't take this the wrong way, but maybe you need a little bit of a big boy makeover. Your 22,time for a little spit and polish. The hoodies and plaid shirts? Do you want to date him or babysit his dogs.

    I get the need for glasses, but maybe some contacts to open that handsome mug of yours to the public might be a HUGE help. Second, the "layered look" - try something a little more form fitting "t", a propper fitting pair of Guess jeans - by this I mean the ones that make your ASS look so good even you want to grab it. Add pair of Armani dress shoes. Fluff up that "DO" with a little styling putty, and give him a little eye full naughty dynocoop.

    Nothing will drop a guys interest more than the feeling he is out with a guy who is planning to have a ring on his finger before they hit the sack. I don't care what he says, it is the truth.

    I also agree with the others, you may have already been moved to the "friend" zone. But even if that is the case, sauntering past with the right look can turn that around. Next given the chance for that next kiss, grab something. Get him all bothered. Nobody says put out, but damn son give him the reason to believe there is a promised land.

    Now - if that second chance doesn't come, take notes and don't let the next guy put you there.

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    Jun 22, 2012 12:39 AM GMT
    Cut your losses and move on. When hot guys do it, its usually called being arrogant or cocky. I hate that shit. icon_mad.gif
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    Jun 22, 2012 12:40 AM GMT
    mizzouguy10 saidTrust me, cut your losses now. He's just not that interested in you.


    This. If the guy liked you, he'd find the time. Even if it was dinner in five days time, he'd make something more concrete.
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    Jun 22, 2012 12:55 AM GMT
    Patience, it takes some people more time to get comfortable and they don't like to hang out a lot initially when getting to know someone. So relax, more on, and you both have each others numbers if he wants to hang out with you he will. Don't make this a control game.
  • Havasu

    Posts: 135

    Jun 22, 2012 1:14 AM GMT
    No matter how busy I am, I can always MAKE time for someone I'm really interested in. I would move on to the next guy. You can always go out again if he shows back up.