Controversial: Gay Cop And Teen Boy

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    Jun 14, 2012 4:07 AM GMT


    If I read it correctly, it seems there was an actual relationship going on between these two people.

    http://www.thestar.com/news/crime/article/1211031--former-toronto-police-officer-jailed-for-sex-with-boy



    in my own opinion, 14 years is usually the age at which people start experimenting sexually, so I do not personally see it as a problem. People start drinking and smoking at that age too. But thats just how I see it *shrugs*

    To put it by comparison:

    imagine the 14-year old is a girl and the 23-year old is a man.

    Now imagine the 14-year old is a boy and the 23-year old is a woman.



    in the first case, most people will feel instinctively disgusted unless it is in a culture where marriage is allowed at that age,

    In the second case, at least in my culture, everyone would be very proud of the boy.

    Double standards ... everywhere

    Discuss
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    Jun 14, 2012 4:13 AM GMT
    Double standards in your culture?
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    Jun 14, 2012 4:25 AM GMT
    Once again we see that tasting unripe fruit can cause a lifetime of indigestion.
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    Jun 14, 2012 4:33 AM GMT
    ozgreenguy saidDouble standards in your culture?


    Of course. Double standards everywhere!

    In most cultures, it is fine for older men to marry younger women.. the other way around is often frowned upon.

    In my culture, a man that would go with a 14 year old girl would get much flak. A boy of 14 that bangs a 23-year old woman is practically idolised!
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    Jun 14, 2012 4:33 AM GMT
    he should be in jail for longer... if the boy wants to experience sexuality, he can find someone to buy him a dildo or a vibrator...

    No excuse for him having sex with a grown man - the boy is at the end of his puberty.. geez. it could make him scarred forever... and it may lead to him being depressed.

    and before you say anything about double-standard... I believe having sex with a woman at the age of 14 is horrible too.
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    Jun 14, 2012 4:35 AM GMT
    _Mohamed_ saidhe should be in jail for longer... if the boy wants to experience sexuality, he can find someone to buy him a dildo or a vibrator...

    No excuse for him having sex with a grown man - the boy is at the end of his puberty.. geez. it could make him scarred forever... and it may lead to him being depressed.

    and before you say anything about double-standard... I believe having sex with a woman at the age of 14 is horrible too.


    But why? It happens all the time.. I think its the normal age at which people begin to explore their sexuality. The greeks at that age already had older "partners" to teach them sexual ways. And it still happens a lot this way in the Mediterranean, most notably in North Africa, and also in South East Asia, where younger boys may get involved with older boys or men until they get married
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    Jun 14, 2012 5:11 AM GMT
    GreenHopper said
    _Mohamed_ saidhe should be in jail for longer... if the boy wants to experience sexuality, he can find someone to buy him a dildo or a vibrator...

    No excuse for him having sex with a grown man - the boy is at the end of his puberty.. geez. it could make him scarred forever... and it may lead to him being depressed.

    and before you say anything about double-standard... I believe having sex with a woman at the age of 14 is horrible too.


    But why? It happens all the time.. I think its the normal age at which people begin to explore their sexuality. The greeks at that age already had older "partners" to teach them sexual ways. And it still happens a lot this way in the Mediterranean, most notably in North Africa, and also in South East Asia, where younger boys may get involved with older boys or men until they get married


    Just because it happened in some cultures before, does not mean it should continue to happen.

    The greeks and romans also forced younger men into receiving dicks up their asses - it wasn't up to the younger man, it was up to the one penetrating.

    As my professor calls it: "Barbaric and cruel"...

    Just because some cultures exhibited this practice does not mean we should - ESPECIALLY if it is a barbaric practice.

    You think that those boys deserve it?
    How do we know that the young boy that was sexually explored wasn't raped?

    We dont know that.. he doesn't know what consensual vs. non-consensual sex is. He could've been tricked into thinking he was made for being fucked...
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    Jun 14, 2012 5:14 AM GMT
    GreenHopper saidControversial: Gay Cop And Teen Boy
    I thought this was gonna be about that 2009 thing.

    http://www.edgeboston.com/index.php?ch=news&sc=&sc3=&id=94653
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    Jun 14, 2012 3:41 PM GMT
    I don't know about Canada, but in California it is legal for you to get an abortion without parental consent if you are underaged. They made this ruling because the CA supreme court decided that young people have the mental capacity to understand the ramifications of their decision to abort a fetus. It may seem like apples and oranges to some, but I think it's a little bit of a double standard. You are old enough to understand the ramifications of getting an abortion if you are underaged, but not old enough to have sex. It just doesn't make sense to me.

    Furthermore, almost all of europe has age of consent laws set at about 14 or 15 years old. Some as low as 13(Spain). I don't hear people calling MODERN western europe "Barbaric and cruel." Canada's btw is 16 and the US varies from 16-18.
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    Jun 14, 2012 4:08 PM GMT
    GreenHopper said
    _Mohamed_ saidhe should be in jail for longer... if the boy wants to experience sexuality, he can find someone to buy him a dildo or a vibrator...

    No excuse for him having sex with a grown man - the boy is at the end of his puberty.. geez. it could make him scarred forever... and it may lead to him being depressed.

    and before you say anything about double-standard... I believe having sex with a woman at the age of 14 is horrible too.


    But why? It happens all the time.. I think its the normal age at which people begin to explore their sexuality. The greeks at that age already had older "partners" to teach them sexual ways. And it still happens a lot this way in the Mediterranean, most notably in North Africa, and also in South East Asia, where younger boys may get involved with older boys or men until they get married


    The issue has nothing to do with a 14 year old experimenting with his sexuality. Even if the 14 year old was a willing participant, the reason it is horrible is not only was the other person an ADULT (why would a responsible adult want sex with someone barely into puberty? That in and of itself is creepy as hell) but also because he was someone in a position of authority (a police officer...who was sworn to uphold the law, including statutory rape ). We can assume at 14 the boy probably had little to no sexual experience to begin with. Furthermore, science has proven that in the teenage brain, the centres for rational thought are the last to develop, so even if he "chose" to have sex with this adult, the adult should have been smart enough not to proceed.

    Also, there are a lot of things we don't know: Was there any sort of coersion or intimidation going on based on his position as a police officer? Was this boy isolated/closeted and/or starving for affection? It all sounds very preditory to me. THIS is why it's horrible.
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    Jun 14, 2012 4:18 PM GMT
    I think age of consent is fairly arbitrary. I also think "creepy" is in the eye of the beholder. I know when I was 14, I'd have jumped just about any 25 year old man who'd have me (though none did). Come on, guys - a 14 year old boy is little more than a life-support system for a 24/7 hardon.

    I also know (personally) a very long-term male couple who began when one was 13 and the other in his 20s (with the consent of the younger partner's parents, please note).

    It amazes me how judgmental gay men (sexual outlaws every mother's son of us) can be.
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    Jun 14, 2012 5:39 PM GMT
    SbStudent saidI don't know about Canada, but in California it is legal for you to get an abortion without parental consent if you are underaged. They made this ruling because the CA supreme court decided that young people have the mental capacity to understand the ramifications of their decision to abort a fetus. It may seem like apples and oranges to some, but I think it's a little bit of a double standard. You are old enough to understand the ramifications of getting an abortion if you are underaged, but not old enough to have sex. It just doesn't make sense to me.

    Furthermore, almost all of europe has age of consent laws set at about 14 or 15 years old. Some as low as 13(Spain). I don't hear people calling MODERN western europe "Barbaric and cruel." Canada's btw is 16 and the US varies from 16-18.


    Really? Well, i'll be the first then.

    Spain's law is barbaric and cruel and so is most of europe's law - hence why I am content with living in Canada.

    12 to 14 years is your puberty years, where, anything sexual can influence who you become when you grow up.

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    Jun 14, 2012 6:41 PM GMT
    _Mohamed_ said
    SbStudent saidI don't know about Canada, but in California it is legal for you to get an abortion without parental consent if you are underaged. They made this ruling because the CA supreme court decided that young people have the mental capacity to understand the ramifications of their decision to abort a fetus. It may seem like apples and oranges to some, but I think it's a little bit of a double standard. You are old enough to understand the ramifications of getting an abortion if you are underaged, but not old enough to have sex. It just doesn't make sense to me.

    Furthermore, almost all of europe has age of consent laws set at about 14 or 15 years old. Some as low as 13(Spain). I don't hear people calling MODERN western europe "Barbaric and cruel." Canada's btw is 16 and the US varies from 16-18.


    Really? Well, i'll be the first then.

    Spain's law is barbaric and cruel and so is most of europe's law - hence why I am content with living in Canada.

    12 to 14 years is your puberty years, where, anything sexual can influence who you become when you grow up.



    That being said, Canada has the close-in-age exception where 14-15 year olds can have sex with someone older as long as they're within 5 years of their age. 12-13 year olds can have sex with someone within 2 years of their age. So a 19 year old can have sex with a 14 year old and you're "content" with that being ok?

    I have another question: Should abortions be accessible to those under the age of consent?

    If not it's essentially saying that those who have been statutorily raped should not have access to the termination of a pregnancy generated by rape.

    If so it's saying that although they cannot decide to have the sex in the first place they can decide to have an abortion afterwards. This is of course under the assumption that an abortion is a more important life decision than whether or not to have sex.

    Here is a practical question of the age of consent laws. Since I don't think the discourse should be about whether it's barbaric or not. After all shouldn't laws be reinforced by reason above all?
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    Jun 14, 2012 6:45 PM GMT
    GAMRican saidOnce again we see that tasting unripe fruit can cause a lifetime of indigestion.


    ahahahahah
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    Jun 14, 2012 7:40 PM GMT
    My friend had sex with a 13 year old girl. Did oral on her when he was 23. He ever since is seen as a criminal and can't get jobs and can't live anywhere he wants. It was a stupid move.
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    Jun 14, 2012 8:19 PM GMT
    I don't agree with this. I started having sex when I was 14 and my partners were always older than me. Some people are mature enough at that age and mentally ready to enter that part of life. It's not easy to find someone around your age when you're that young because you're not in the bars, and most are closeted in High School. If you start looking for someone to start having sex with, you're probably going to be using a computer. The majority of guys on those gay sites are all in their 20's and up.

    If it's consensual, safe and not under the influence of drugs/alcohol, I don't see the crime.
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    Jun 14, 2012 8:20 PM GMT
    ChoklitDaddy saidI think age of consent is fairly arbitrary. I also think "creepy" is in the eye of the beholder. I know when I was 14, I'd have jumped just about any 25 year old man who'd have me (though none did). Come on, guys - a 14 year old boy is little more than a life-support system for a 24/7 hardon.

    I also know (personally) a very long-term male couple who began when one was 13 and the other in his 20s (with the consent of the younger partner's parents, please note).

    It amazes me how judgmental gay men (sexual outlaws every mother's son of us) can be.


    Sorry but the sexual yearnings of a 14 year don't compare to the life-long damage that can occur by making themselves available to a potential sexual preditor. Again, this is about irresponsible adults making selfish decisions without considering the consequences for the adolescent, let alone himself. It isn't the 14 year old's fault -- he's still a child (under the law) and his brain isn't fully baked yet! He's not thinking with the bigger of his two heads!

    And as for the 13 yr old/20 something you knew who had the 13 year old's consent...sorry i gotta be all judgemental on that one. I consider it irresponsible parenting to let that happen for the reasons stated above. If they were a heterosexual couple, I doubt that this would have been tolerated! There can't be a same sex double standard.
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    Jun 14, 2012 8:28 PM GMT
    staple_ said...It's not easy to find someone around your age when you're that young because you're not in the bars, and most are closeted in High School. If you start looking for someone to start having sex with, you're probably going to be using a computer...


    And that's what sexual preditors count on. If your 13 year old female relative went online to look for guys in their 20's to have sex with, would you be comfortable with this? What would your opinion be of guys looking for this kind of action? Would you encourage this behaviour?
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    Jun 14, 2012 10:02 PM GMT
    _Mohamed_ saidhe should be in jail for longer... if the boy wants to experience sexuality, he can find someone to buy him a dildo or a vibrator...

    No excuse for him having sex with a grown man - the boy is at the end of his puberty.. geez. it could make him scarred forever... and it may lead to him being depressed.



    As someone who had sex at a very early age, I think this attitude is just ignorant. The only reason they would be "scarred" or "depressed" is because people tell them they should be upset. I'm sick of people treating sex like it's murder or something. I was VERY sexually aware at 14 and was hoping and praying an older man would have sex with me!
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    Jun 14, 2012 10:20 PM GMT
    _Mohamed_ said
    SbStudent saidI don't know about Canada, but in California it is legal for you to get an abortion without parental consent if you are underaged. They made this ruling because the CA supreme court decided that young people have the mental capacity to understand the ramifications of their decision to abort a fetus. It may seem like apples and oranges to some, but I think it's a little bit of a double standard. You are old enough to understand the ramifications of getting an abortion if you are underaged, but not old enough to have sex. It just doesn't make sense to me.

    Furthermore, almost all of europe has age of consent laws set at about 14 or 15 years old. Some as low as 13(Spain). I don't hear people calling MODERN western europe "Barbaric and cruel." Canada's btw is 16 and the US varies from 16-18.


    Really? Well, i'll be the first then.

    Spain's law is barbaric and cruel and so is most of europe's law - hence why I am content with living in Canada.

    12 to 14 years is your puberty years, where, anything sexual can influence who you become when you grow up.


    We're talking sex here, not brain-surgery. Other cultures just don't have the hang-ups about sex North Americans have. If your body is mature enough to have sex, have at it. (provided you know about how to prevent pregnancies and STDs).
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    Jun 15, 2012 5:22 AM GMT
    What Im wondering is... there are several people, including me, who think 14 is old enough to decide if you want to have sex or not.

    Apparently, many people disagree with us. I however feel this is an infringement on my rights... I feel as if to tell me, at 14, whether I can have sex or not because it will have negative consequences for me (emotionally-mentally), is an imposition equal to telling me if "I can be allowed to be gay or not"because I get told it is going to have negative consequences for me (I am going to hell if I do it)

    So to those who oppose allowing 14 year olds to consent to sex. Can you actually name examples of what you are claiming. That there are 14-year olds who consent to sex who later claim that this had "horrible consequences" for them?

    because to be honest... I know many people that start at 14.. with 20-year olds... and they are all perfectly fine... to say they are not, makes me feel like it is as unjust a claim as it is to tell a prostitute that she is "not mentally well"
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    Jun 15, 2012 5:22 AM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    _Mohamed_ saidhe should be in jail for longer... if the boy wants to experience sexuality, he can find someone to buy him a dildo or a vibrator...

    No excuse for him having sex with a grown man - the boy is at the end of his puberty.. geez. it could make him scarred forever... and it may lead to him being depressed.



    As someone who had sex at a very early age, I think this attitude is just ignorant. The only reason they would be "scarred" or "depressed" is because people tell them they should be upset. I'm sick of people treating sex like it's murder or something. I was VERY sexually aware at 14 and was hoping and praying an older man would have sex with me!


    Agreed, I wish I had had that opportunity myself too
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    Jun 15, 2012 5:27 AM GMT
    GAMRican saidOnce again we see that tasting unripe fruit can cause a lifetime of indigestion.

    yes another way to say something simple long
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    Jun 15, 2012 6:05 AM GMT
    xanadude said
    staple_ said...It's not easy to find someone around your age when you're that young because you're not in the bars, and most are closeted in High School. If you start looking for someone to start having sex with, you're probably going to be using a computer...


    And that's what sexual preditors count on. If your 13 year old female relative went online to look for guys in their 20's to have sex with, would you be comfortable with this? What would your opinion be of guys looking for this kind of action? Would you encourage this behaviour?


    Now reverse the roles... if its a 13 year old boy looking for college women... would you feel the same way about it? In all honesty?

    What about a 13 your old lesbian girl going for a 20 year old woman?
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    Jun 15, 2012 6:17 PM GMT
    GreenHopper said
    xanadude said
    staple_ said...It's not easy to find someone around your age when you're that young because you're not in the bars, and most are closeted in High School. If you start looking for someone to start having sex with, you're probably going to be using a computer...


    And that's what sexual preditors count on. If your 13 year old female relative went online to look for guys in their 20's to have sex with, would you be comfortable with this? What would your opinion be of guys looking for this kind of action? Would you encourage this behaviour?


    Now reverse the roles... if its a 13 year old boy looking for college women... would you feel the same way about it? In all honesty?

    What about a 13 your old lesbian girl going for a 20 year old woman?


    I would absolutely feel the same way regardless if it was a 13or 14 year old boy/20-something female OR a 13 or 14 year old girl/20-something female. I don't discriminate based on gender or sexual orientation in this case. The consent of the children is irrelevant. Of course a horny teen is going to jump at this chance! I probably would have too! Teenagers are not known for their judgement, particularily where sex is concerned. The idea of the mature, experienced lover bringing us into adulthood is a fantasy I think almost all of us have had -- but what kind of an adult has a fanatasy about having sex with a 13 or 14 year old? As I said before, this is more about the "adults" in this situation. Why are these adults having sex with children who are in the early stages of puberty? What's the attraction? This is what statutory rape laws are in effect for -- to protect children from exploitation (and yes, at 13 or 14 you're still a child, even if you have pubes).