Is dating in the South more difficult than other regions?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 14, 2012 4:20 AM GMT
    I know this question might have obvious answers, but I find dating difficult here in the mid-south because many of the men I've dated fall in a few categories: 1) not willing to commit 2) afraid of the 'stigma of being gay' 3) or in my opinion not as educated/driven as other men I have dated in other cities.

    I also noticed this isn't just a problem I've encountered. Some of my friends (mostly minorities) can't find dates because they aren't white. I think a lot of southern cities have a lot of problems accepting others and accepting sexuality.

    This is not true for all southern cities. I lived in Houston and everyone was quite different than in places like Charlotte or Nashville.

    Thoughts?
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jun 14, 2012 10:53 AM GMT
    men are stupid all over, but hey, penis.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 14, 2012 10:57 AM GMT
    Oh fuck. Here we go again. You've already painted southerners as uneducated, racist and homophobic in just a few sentences.I hope this thread doesn't turn into another indictment of the south. I hardly think being less educated is the problem (especially since one of the finest universities in the country is located in your city). Things move a little slower in the south. Visibility isn't as high so less people are willing to live an open life than in places like NYC. Change comes. It's happening in the south too. I can't get a date either but I live close to Walton Fucking Mountain. You're in Nashville. I would think your choices and chances would be monumentally increased.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jun 14, 2012 11:04 AM GMT
    Coach_Mike saidOh fuck. Here we go again. You've already painted southerners as uneducated, racist and homophobic in just a few sentences.I hope this thread doesn't turn into another indictment of the south. I hardly think being less educated is the problem (especially since one of the finest universities in the country is located in your city). Things move a little slower in the south. Visibility isn't as high so less people are willing to live an open life than in places like NYC. Change comes. It's happening in the south too. I can't get a date either but I live close to Walton Fucking Mountain. You're in Nashville. I would think your choices and chances would be monumentally increased.


    i invited you to get a pop with me at the new soda shop on main st.... icon_redface.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 14, 2012 11:16 AM GMT
    calibro said
    Coach_Mike saidOh fuck. Here we go again. You've already painted southerners as uneducated, racist and homophobic in just a few sentences.I hope this thread doesn't turn into another indictment of the south. I hardly think being less educated is the problem (especially since one of the finest universities in the country is located in your city). Things move a little slower in the south. Visibility isn't as high so less people are willing to live an open life than in places like NYC. Change comes. It's happening in the south too. I can't get a date either but I live close to Walton Fucking Mountain. You're in Nashville. I would think your choices and chances would be monumentally increased.


    i invited you to get a pop with me at the new soda shop on main st.... icon_redface.gif


    I'll give you a pop.....
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jun 14, 2012 11:22 AM GMT
    Coach_Mike said
    calibro said
    Coach_Mike saidOh fuck. .


    i invited you to get a pop with me at the new soda shop on main st.... icon_redface.gif


    I'll give you a pop.....


    do i have to call you daddy?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 14, 2012 11:26 AM GMT
    calibro said
    Coach_Mike said
    calibro said
    Coach_Mike saidOh fuck. .


    i invited you to get a pop with me at the new soda shop on main st.... icon_redface.gif


    I'll give you a pop.....


    do i have to call you daddy?


    You don't have to call me daddy but you do have to call my daddy and ask him if you can take me to the soda shop. Bring some of those cakes. He's like me....sugar wins him over every time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 14, 2012 11:26 AM GMT
    JPtheBITCH said
    Coach_Mike said
    calibro said
    Coach_Mike saidOh fuck. Here we go again. You've already painted southerners as uneducated, racist and homophobic in just a few sentences.I hope this thread doesn't turn into another indictment of the south. I hardly think being less educated is the problem (especially since one of the finest universities in the country is located in your city). Things move a little slower in the south. Visibility isn't as high so less people are willing to live an open life than in places like NYC. Change comes. It's happening in the south too. I can't get a date either but I live close to Walton Fucking Mountain. You're in Nashville. I would think your choices and chances would be monumentally increased.


    i invited you to get a pop with me at the new soda shop on main st.... icon_redface.gif


    I'll give you a pop.....

    Now now


    Oh, I like calibro. He's got some beautiful cakes.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 14, 2012 11:32 AM GMT
    JPtheBITCH said
    Coach_Mike said
    calibro said
    Coach_Mike said
    calibro said
    Coach_Mike saidOh fuck. .


    i invited you to get a pop with me at the new soda shop on main st.... icon_redface.gif


    I'll give you a pop.....


    do i have to call you daddy?


    You don't have to call me daddy but you do have to call my daddy and ask him if you can take me to the soda shop. Bring some of those cakes. He's like me....sugar wins him over every time.

    Okay, this is not stereotyping, 'cause I know firsthand that it's true...
    What IS it with southerners and sugar? They put it on everyfuckingthing.


    in the Caribbean, Middle East, and India the same


    but for the point about the South and the Caribbean, and even Brazil and other parts of Latin America... what was one of many crops that made plantation owners rich back in the colonial days?

    Heres a hint from wikipedia: Before the 18th century, cultivation of BLANK was largely confined to India. BLANK plantations, like cotton farms, were a major driver of large human migrations in the 19th and early 20th century, influencing the ethnic mix, political conflicts and cultural evolution of various Caribbean, South American, Indian Ocean and Pacific island nations.[4][5]
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 14, 2012 11:39 AM GMT
    JPtheBITCH said
    GreenHopper saidbut for the point about the South and the Caribbean, and even Brazil and other parts of Latin America... what was one of many crops that made plantation owners rich back in the colonial days?

    My theory is that in pre-refrigeration days, there was a lot of food spoilage due to the heat, and people couldn't afford to throw food away, so they covered up a lot of the nasty spoiled flavors with sugar. Much the same reason the French developed so many tasty sauces.



    Heres a hint from wikipedia:

    "Before the 18th century, cultivation of [BLANK] was largely confined to India. [BLANK] plantations, like cotton farms, were a major driver of large human migrations in the 19th and early 20th century, influencing the ethnic mix, political conflicts and cultural evolution of various Caribbean, South American, Indian Ocean and Pacific island nations."

    So think... like COTTON... mass MIGRATION in colonial days... all things that happened in the south... too... so what was crop [BLANK]... and what was and still is such a popular food in the south, like you were saying? *jeopardy song plays*


    Edit: I should add.. that food spoilage is one reason why in hot countries, people add a lot of spice to their foods.. because spices kill germs.... but sugar is used mainly in sweets... like cakes... and does not kill germs, in fact, it makes them grow, so not too good of an idea
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jun 14, 2012 11:42 AM GMT
    Coach_Mike said

    Oh, I like calibro. He's got some beautiful cakes.


    And he also has some beautiful feet.... icon_wink.gif
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jun 14, 2012 11:48 AM GMT
    Coach_Mike said
    calibro said
    Coach_Mike said
    calibro said
    Coach_Mike saidOh fuck. .


    i invited you to get a pop with me at the new soda shop on main st.... icon_redface.gif


    I'll give you a pop.....


    do i have to call you daddy?


    You don't have to call me daddy but you do have to call my daddy and ask him if you can take me to the soda shop. Bring some of those cakes. He's like me....sugar wins him over every time.


    i make a mean red velvet and hummingbird cake... southerners love that
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jun 14, 2012 11:51 AM GMT
    malefeet said
    Coach_Mike said

    Oh, I like calibro. He's got some beautiful cakes.


    And he also has some beautiful feet.... icon_wink.gif


    i actually think my feet are quite weird... i have ridiculously high-arched expanding hobbit feet
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Jun 14, 2012 11:51 AM GMT
    raginraider12 saidI know this question might have obvious answers, but I find dating difficult here in the mid-south because many of the men I've dated fall in a few categories: 1) not willing to commit 2) afraid of the 'stigma of being gay' 3) or in my opinion not as educated/driven as other men I have dated in other cities.

    I also noticed this isn't just a problem I've encountered. Some of my friends (mostly minorities) can't find dates because they aren't white. I think a lot of southern cities have a lot of problems accepting others and accepting sexuality.

    This is not true for all southern cities. I lived in Houston and everyone was quite different than in places like Charlotte or Nashville.

    Thoughts?




    move to New Orleans and your opinions of "The South" just might change.


    icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 14, 2012 12:25 PM GMT
    To Coach Mike and anyone else. If you would like to see a lovely portrait of the South - please go and check out the thread for Constantino's latest blog update.

    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/2444856
  • gumbosolo

    Posts: 382

    Jun 14, 2012 1:41 PM GMT
    I can only speak for New Orleans, but dating here isn't hard. There are plenty of us to go around, and the small-town vibe more or less guarantees that if you're interested in someone and he's not a tourist, you'll run into him again. And tourists make great target practice.

    For the rest of the state, though there may be some gays around, you'd have to wade through endless fields of [BLANK] (see GreenHopper's post) to find them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 14, 2012 2:00 PM GMT
    Actually when sugar is combined with highly acidic foods such as fruits, it works together as a preservative. That is why jams and jellies don't have to be pressure canned to preserve them.

    I still have friends in the south and they don't seem to have any more trouble dating than my friends in the North... I think Northerners just have preconceived notions about the South.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 14, 2012 2:02 PM GMT
    I was raised in Savannah, educated in Charleston and now live in NC/SC. I am strangely facinated by this thread that began as "you guys are homophobic, ignorant racists" and evolved into "southerners love sweets and spicy foods" and then became "Calibro and CoachMike get it ONNNNNN"

    Love it!! And to whoever said it... if you cant find loving and decadence in New Orleans, then you must be a loser. It is the funnest, sexiest city in the United States. You get off the plane, start to sweat, get a drink and immediately have sex with the hottest guy you can find (gay or straight).

    They also have the coolest gym I have ever seen. It is the second oldest gym in America and I went and trained with two of their trainers who are both powerlifters... it was like being a rough, hard core powerlifter, but in a loft in Paris!! It was sooooo fucking cool!! And then on the way out, another group of super hot muscle guys had a circle jerk in the locker room and I found out later that about half of them were straight and didn't think anything of it.

    Vegas is for scary, sad straight people..... NOLA is Vegas for fierce people.

    p.s. New Orleans is the only place I ever passed out while standing at a bar. Seriously... my friends have a picture of it. I was standing at the bar and yet was totally unconscious. HAHA
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 14, 2012 2:03 PM GMT
    JPtheBITCH said
    PaulNKS saidActually when sugar is combined with highly acidic foods such as fruits, it works together as a preservative. That is why jams and jellies don't have to be pressure canned to preserve them.

    I still have friends in the south and they don't seem to have any more trouble dating than my friends in the North... I think Northerners just have preconceived notions about the South.

    My experience in Richmond, where I was both partnered and single for a time, is that the South is a great place to be partnered, but a difficult place to find a partner, since the dating pool in small towns is---well, small.


    It is, but people are more willing to partner there.

    Take a look at SF or NYC. Huge dating pool, tons of singles. Its because people dont want to settle down.

    Its all about balance.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 14, 2012 2:08 PM GMT
    raginraider12 saidI know this question might have obvious answers, but I find dating difficult here in the mid-south because many of the men I've dated fall in a few categories: 1) not willing to commit 2) afraid of the 'stigma of being gay' 3) or in my opinion not as educated/driven as other men I have dated in other cities.

    I also noticed this isn't just a problem I've encountered. Some of my friends (mostly minorities) can't find dates because they aren't white. I think a lot of southern cities have a lot of problems accepting others and accepting sexuality.

    This is not true for all southern cities. I lived in Houston and everyone was quite different than in places like Charlotte or Nashville.

    Thoughts?


    I don't know if dating is more difficult in the south for everyone.

    But it was more difficult for me--and I lived in Austin, TX! Austin's gay community is mostly white, and I encountered more racist bigotry--of the covert kind--than I ever had elsewhere. So, when I finished my graduate education and left Austin (just 3 days after graduation), I left with a big grin on my face. I was relieved.

    To be honest, Austin disappointed me. Although it has its positives, I find its reputation as a wonderful, liberal, progressive city undeserved.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 14, 2012 2:10 PM GMT
    Chainers said
    JPtheBITCH said
    PaulNKS saidActually when sugar is combined with highly acidic foods such as fruits, it works together as a preservative. That is why jams and jellies don't have to be pressure canned to preserve them.

    I still have friends in the south and they don't seem to have any more trouble dating than my friends in the North... I think Northerners just have preconceived notions about the South.

    My experience in Richmond, where I was both partnered and single for a time, is that the South is a great place to be partnered, but a difficult place to find a partner, since the dating pool in small towns is---well, small.


    It is, but people are more willing to partner there.

    Take a look at SF or NYC. Huge dating pool, tons of singles. Its because people dont want to settle down.

    Its all about balance.


    Oh... now I get it... So, what you're saying is that although, the quantity may be lacking, the quality is superior because Southerners still have more of a sense of family and a sense of commitment and loyalty? LOL


    jk
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 14, 2012 2:12 PM GMT
    MuscleGent,

    I have gay friends in Austin and they all say that the gay community there isn't what it has been portrayed to be. Pesonally I think that one of the reasons is that there are about 5 men in Austin (you problably know them) who are superhumanly hot and the entire gay universe knows them. (my friend Jason, the fireman,... Ricardo whose picture has been stolen for fake profiles more than any man on the planet... Stan.... eh... he's a dick but he is hot)

    So Austin appears to be a million hot guys when in reality it is smaller than that.

    Good luck to you, man!! You are gorgeous and with that body you could move anywhere!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 14, 2012 2:15 PM GMT
    PaulNKS said
    Chainers said
    JPtheBITCH said
    PaulNKS saidActually when sugar is combined with highly acidic foods such as fruits, it works together as a preservative. That is why jams and jellies don't have to be pressure canned to preserve them.

    I still have friends in the south and they don't seem to have any more trouble dating than my friends in the North... I think Northerners just have preconceived notions about the South.

    My experience in Richmond, where I was both partnered and single for a time, is that the South is a great place to be partnered, but a difficult place to find a partner, since the dating pool in small towns is---well, small.


    It is, but people are more willing to partner there.

    Take a look at SF or NYC. Huge dating pool, tons of singles. Its because people dont want to settle down.

    Its all about balance.


    Oh... now I get it... So, what you're saying is that although, the quantity may be lacking, the quality is superior because Southerners still have more of a sense of family and a sense of commitment and loyalty? LOL


    jk


    Even though I know you are just trolling I figured I should clarify anyways.

    In more populated gay areas with a gay ghetto, you have this mentality of "Oh a better one will come along." Then everyone is single their whole lives.

    In less populated areas, you dont have that, because their isnt a whole lot of people who are around, so you are more willing to get to know people as a whole instead of trying to just marginalize them into an object and find upgrades 24/7,
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 14, 2012 2:17 PM GMT
    Chainers said
    PaulNKS said
    Chainers said
    JPtheBITCH said
    PaulNKS saidActually when sugar is combined with highly acidic foods such as fruits, it works together as a preservative. That is why jams and jellies don't have to be pressure canned to preserve them.

    I still have friends in the south and they don't seem to have any more trouble dating than my friends in the North... I think Northerners just have preconceived notions about the South.

    My experience in Richmond, where I was both partnered and single for a time, is that the South is a great place to be partnered, but a difficult place to find a partner, since the dating pool in small towns is---well, small.


    It is, but people are more willing to partner there.

    Take a look at SF or NYC. Huge dating pool, tons of singles. Its because people dont want to settle down.

    Its all about balance.


    Oh... now I get it... So, what you're saying is that although, the quantity may be lacking, the quality is superior because Southerners still have more of a sense of family and a sense of commitment and loyalty? LOL


    jk


    Even though I know you are just trolling I figured I should clarify anyways.

    In more populated gay areas with a gay ghetto, you have this mentality of "Oh a better one will come along." Then everyone is single their whole lives.

    In less populated areas, you dont have that, because their isnt a whole lot of people who are around, so you are more willing to get to know people as a whole instead of trying to just marginalize them into an object and find upgrades 24/7,


    I knew the point you wanted to make. I was just joking with you.

    However, I do honestly believe that generally speaking, Southerners are more laid back and do tend to have stronger family values and that may play a part.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 14, 2012 2:27 PM GMT
    MuscleBadger saidMuscleGent,

    I have gay friends in Austin and they all say that the gay community there isn't what it has been portrayed to be. Pesonally I think that one of the reasons is that there are about 5 men in Austin (you problably know them) who are superhumanly hot and the entire gay universe knows them. (my friend Jason, the fireman,... Ricardo whose picture has been stolen for fake profiles more than any man on the planet... Stan.... eh... he's a dick but he is hot)

    So Austin appears to be a million hot guys when in reality it is smaller than that.

    Good luck to you, man!! You are gorgeous and with that body you could move anywhere!


    Thanks for the well wishes.

    Hot-ness is in the eye of the beholder, MuscleBadger. And some of us look for deeper qualities when looking for potential mates. Yes, I agree that Austin's gay community lacks a sufficient number of bona fide hotties. But that doesn't change the fact that Austin's majority-white gay community has established a reputation for treating black men as if they don't belong on any menu.

    That being said, I was fortunate enough to befriend some wonderful white gay men in Austin. (I will miss them.) They were open-minded, warm, friendly, and HOT (believe it or not!). They welcomed me with open arms and treated me like a nephew. But they were a gay couple. So, dating wasn't an option.