Dealing with a drinker

  • easterndude69

    Posts: 632

    Jun 15, 2012 5:12 AM GMT
    Would someone who drinks if even occasionally to get drunk be a deal breaker to you? I try not to judge people on what drugs they do; they have their reasons, and no one's perfect. I would have no problem with someone who drinks to get drunk once a month or even twice a month as I myself enjoy to drink to get drunk every once in awhile. I could prob deal with him doing it as a weekend thing too which is popular in college. However, if he was an alcoholic or drank too frequently, it would be a deal-breaker for me. As much as drinking can be fun sometimes, I do like to do other things for fun too and be active, and I still attend to my responsibilities and priorities. If the only thing we do together is drinking or if that's all he does for fun, it's not going to work out.
  • nappi

    Posts: 91

    Jun 15, 2012 5:14 AM GMT
    um I get drunk to get drunk atleast once a week?

    peut-etre >_>''
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    Jun 15, 2012 5:14 AM GMT
    Drinking once in awhile is fine. I'd never get involved with an alcoholic, they obviously drink for a reason.
  • easterndude69

    Posts: 632

    Jun 15, 2012 5:18 AM GMT
    nappi saidum I get drunk to get drunk atleast once a week?

    peut-etre >_>''


    This is more commonly the case, but I don't think I would rule out the possibility of being with someone who likes to get drunk on weekends or one night every week. As long as we can do other things that are fun, I'll let him decide what's right for him so long as he doesn't let the alcohol control him.
  • nappi

    Posts: 91

    Jun 15, 2012 5:21 AM GMT
    well no one wakes up in a trash can yet... >_>
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    Jun 15, 2012 5:25 AM GMT
    I drink probably once a week lately... even more when I'm with people in different cities. :S
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    Jun 15, 2012 2:36 PM GMT
    easterndude69 saidWould someone who drinks if even occasionally to get drunk be a deal breaker to you? I try not to judge people on what drugs they do; they have their reasons, and no one's perfect. I would have no problem with someone who drinks to get drunk once a month or even twice a month as I myself enjoy to drink to get drunk every once in awhile. I could prob deal with him doing it as a weekend thing too which is popular in college. However, if he was an alcoholic or drank too frequently, it would be a deal-breaker for me. As much as drinking can be fun sometimes, I do like to do other things for fun too and be active, and I still attend to my responsibilities and priorities. If the only thing we do together is drinking or if that's all he does for fun, it's not going to work out.


    Yes. I don't drink at all. I consider drunkenness irresponsible and dangerous. I wouldn't want to expose myself to the consequences, many of which are severe.
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    Jun 15, 2012 2:55 PM GMT
    Everything in moderation.

    Everyone has something they may do that in excess can be considered dangerous.

    Using pre workout supplements can be hard on your intestinal tract.

    Using steroids is hard on the heart and liver.

    Drugs are hard on the body in general.

    Alcohol inhibits reasoning and judgement.

    Sex can be dangerous to your health.

    That bitch of a co-worker who talks to much might drive you to overreact at work and ruin your career.

    Anal douching is bad for the tissue and tract.

    The list goes on icon_smile.gif

    ....Eating too much makes you fat.


    I just hate when people criticize someone elses actions, as long as they are doing it and making good judgements before they do it. LIke surrounding themselves by a group of people one who's sober and can watch them or something of the sorts.

    Screw people who think they are better than someone else because they don't do that at all. Not fair.
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    Jun 15, 2012 3:00 PM GMT
    I drink occasionally and even when I go out I pace myself so I never actually get drunk. In five hours spent at Oz I maybe had four beers and something fruity with Malibu in it.

    When dealing with someone else who drinks if they drink the same way I do I see no problem whatsoever. But when they get drunk it becomes a very black-and-white issue. If its a rare event and they're adorable when they're messed up I could handle it (i just fall asleep if I get drunk) but if they get depressed, random or erratic then I'm not sure I could handle it.
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    Jun 15, 2012 3:10 PM GMT
    I'm the complete opposite.

    I'm highly suspicious of people who don't drink. I'm not saying that everyone has to follow the herd and consume huge amounts of alcohol/get wasted but it troubles me when someone is completely anti alcohol (unless they are in AA or something like that).

    The point where it would become a turn off for me would be when someone has to literally have a drink as soon as they wake up just to get on with the day. It's the same with recreational drugs. If you can't function without the stuff then it's a problem and I wouldn't want to be around that kind of person.
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    Jun 15, 2012 3:14 PM GMT
    Defenseon saidEverything in moderation.
    I just hate when people criticize someone elses actions, as long as they are doing it and making good judgements before they do it. LIke surrounding themselves by a group of people one who's sober and can watch them or something of the sorts.

    Screw people who think they are better than someone else because they don't do that at all. Not fair.


    It's hypocritical for you to get mad when non-drinkers criticize the practice of drinking to get drunk. After all, you just criticized non-drinkers who express their opinions about the practice of drinking to get drunk. I'm sure you'll know that sober people are sometimes unavailable to babysit drunk people. Also, sober people sometimes do a miserable job babysitting.
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    Jun 15, 2012 3:19 PM GMT
    whateveryo saidI'm the complete opposite.

    I'm highly suspicious of people who don't drink. I'm not saying that everyone has to follow the herd and consume huge amounts of alcohol/get wasted but it troubles me when someone is completely anti alcohol (unless they are in AA or something like that).

    The point where it would become a turn off for me would be when someone has to literally have a drink as soon as they wake up just to get on with the day. It's the same with recreational drugs. If you can't function without the stuff then it's a problem and I wouldn't want to be around that kind of person.


    I was never in AA. I've never had any substance abuse issues. All my life I've avoided any substance that alters my alertness. That's because I value being able to think with a crystal clear mind--at all times.
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    Jun 15, 2012 3:23 PM GMT
    BlkMuscleGent said
    Defenseon saidEverything in moderation.
    I just hate when people criticize someone elses actions, as long as they are doing it and making good judgements before they do it. LIke surrounding themselves by a group of people one who's sober and can watch them or something of the sorts.

    Screw people who think they are better than someone else because they don't do that at all. Not fair.


    It's hypocritical for you to get mad when non-drinkers criticize the practice of drinking to get drunk. After all, you just criticized non-drinkers who express their opinions about the practice of drinking to get drunk. I'm sure you'll know that sober people are sometimes unavailable to babysit drunk people. Also, sober people sometimes do a miserable job babysitting.


    I think you are missing the point. If someone wants to be sober that's great, kudos to them. And people are free to express their opinions and my comment was not geared toward you in any way if thats what you are thinking. This comes back to making good judgement, if the sober person doesnt want to go out then so be it. I don't know how you inferred I was judging a sober person.
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    Jun 15, 2012 3:26 PM GMT
    Defenseon said
    BlkMuscleGent said
    Defenseon saidEverything in moderation.
    I just hate when people criticize someone elses actions, as long as they are doing it and making good judgements before they do it. LIke surrounding themselves by a group of people one who's sober and can watch them or something of the sorts.

    Screw people who think they are better than someone else because they don't do that at all. Not fair.


    It's hypocritical for you to get mad when non-drinkers criticize the practice of drinking to get drunk. After all, you just criticized non-drinkers who express their opinions about the practice of drinking to get drunk. I'm sure you'll know that sober people are sometimes unavailable to babysit drunk people. Also, sober people sometimes do a miserable job babysitting.


    I think you are missing the point. If someone wants to be sober that's great, kudos to them. And people are free to express their opinions and my comment was not geared toward you in any way if thats what you are thinking. This comes back to making good judgement, if the sober person doesnt want to go out then so be it. I don't know how you inferred I was judging a sober person.


    No worries. The words "I just hate" and "Screw people" made me think you were conveying a different point.
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    Jun 15, 2012 3:46 PM GMT
    I dunno. A once-in-a-while thing wouldn't bother me. Getting wasted regularly every weekend... at my age it seems like something that guys should have out-grown by now.
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    Jun 15, 2012 3:58 PM GMT
    I'm fine with social drinking. But it depends on what type of drunk the other person is. If he is a happy/fun drunk then great. If not I wouldn't want to be around an angry or nasty or sad ..etc drunk.

    Drinking to the point of being an alcoholic isn't the type of person for me. At the same time teetotalers aren't the type I may want to hang with in a social drinking session. Unless they are so much fun that you don't notice they aren't drinking.
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    Jun 15, 2012 4:14 PM GMT
    Defenseon saidEverything in moderation.

    Everyone has something they may do that in excess can be considered dangerous.

    Using pre workout supplements can be hard on your intestinal tract.

    Using steroids is hard on the heart and liver.

    Drugs are hard on the body in general.

    Alcohol inhibits reasoning and judgement.

    Sex can be dangerous to your health.

    That bitch of a co-worker who talks to much might drive you to overreact at work and ruin your career.

    Anal douching is bad for the tissue and tract.

    The list goes on icon_smile.gif

    ....Eating too much makes you fat.


    I just hate when people criticize someone elses actions, as long as they are doing it and making good judgements before they do it. LIke surrounding themselves by a group of people one who's sober and can watch them or something of the sorts.

    Screw people who think they are better than someone else because they don't do that at all. Not fair.


    I love this


    This is exactly how I feel. I think people need to understand that we all are human and we all have something that someone may feel is bad or wrong or whatever.

    Drinking to me is a way of self medicating in a sense (I don't drink period) but I often thought that people who do it on a daily basis do it because it just calms and relaxes them.

    Even when people who don't drink are at a party they do it to loosen up. So to me it isnt a big deal.

    I would however want a guy to know how to handle his liqour, sleeping around, hitting me, etc because of drunkeness is not an excuse. That is something I could not handle.

    but at the end of the day truthfully it is what you prefer. Just be a little less judgemental.

    I for one think anything can be done to much.

    Such as working out
    alot these guys here spend their lives at the GYM like every day for hours...
    There is something behind that beyond just health reasons.Someone could post the same thing you did with just a substitution in words.

    I think you are giving the word drink a negative connotation.

    Anyone can find something a turn off if it seems to excessive.

    but if you don't like it, then you have a right not to, but that is more your issue my friend, not his.
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    Jun 15, 2012 4:19 PM GMT
    I was a bit of a party animal earlier in life but by the time I hit my 30s I was burying friends due to the lifestyle. When my best bud died, I quit everything including smoking, drinking, meat, soda, everything. But being attracted to bad boyz, I still befriended those who partook. Then I lost my next best bud to cigarettes and booze and drugs. Damn it. Right after that mom died and, while mourning the two of them, I had a long-time friend who was a functional alcoholic start treating me like shit when what I needed was some emotional support.

    I'm okay with occasional drinkers but anything else, forgetaboutit. I can't do that anymore. At my last reunion we counted about 9 or more of us who died from consumption generally or overdoses outright. Now I won't even befriend someone new who smokes.cigarettes. I can't bury another friend from that. You get five or 20 or more years of friendship but then you get 20 or 50 years of pain. Fuck that. My pain quota for this life is filled, thank you very much. I can't do it anymore.

    My problem of course is that I"m not really into most you goodygoods; apparently, you're an acquired taste. If only I could find an edgy one who isn't such a fucking egomaniac. Where is perfection in life? What time is it? After noon? I need a drink.

    Don't drink; don't smoke; what do you do.
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    Jun 15, 2012 4:22 PM GMT
    easterndude69 saidWould someone who drinks if even occasionally to get drunk be a deal breaker to you? I try not to judge people on what drugs they do; they have their reasons, and no one's perfect. I would have no problem with someone who drinks to get drunk once a month or even twice a month as I myself enjoy to drink to get drunk every once in awhile. I could prob deal with him doing it as a weekend thing too which is popular in college. However, if he was an alcoholic or drank too frequently, it would be a deal-breaker for me. As much as drinking can be fun sometimes, I do like to do other things for fun too and be active, and I still attend to my responsibilities and priorities. If the only thing we do together is drinking or if that's all he does for fun, it's not going to work out.


    sooo... what you're saying is you don't like alcohol very much.
    Well thanks for sharing that with us.
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    Jun 15, 2012 4:42 PM GMT
    Drinking to loosen up (even daily) is normal, but to "get drunk" - definitely a deal breaker. Drunkenness is repulsive.
    I have no problem judging a person for doing drugs and drunkenness. People judge and these are most reasonable things to judge a person on. Responsibility can be lax, but never let low to these levels.
    I can think of a few guys I've encountered who would otherwise be great to hang with if it weren't for their alcohol abuse. It's a pity that their abuse so counters and nearly negates their good points.
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    Jun 15, 2012 4:49 PM GMT
    BuddyinNYC saidDrinking to loosen up (even daily) is normal, but to "get drunk" - definitely a deal breaker. Drunkenness is repulsive.
    I have no problem judging a person for doing drugs and drunkenness. People judge and these are most reasonable things to judge a person on. Responsibility can be lax, but never let low to these levels.
    I can think of a few guys I've encountered who would otherwise be great to hang with if it weren't for their alcohol abuse. It's a pity that their abuse so counters and nearly negates their good points.


    there's also a difference between "drunk" and "shit-faced". Someone who occasionally gets "drunk" isn't so much of a problem as someone who goes out and parties, getting "shit-faced" in the process on a regular basis. "Drunk" in my opinion is usually more often an accident and can stop there or progress into "shit-faced" (i just fall asleep after i pass the threshold into "drunk"). "Shit-faced" is where the crazy stuff starts happening and where a person can become a danger to themselves and others.

    Another problem is people who drink despite the fact that they are on prescription medications. My psycho roommate is diagnosed manic/bipolar and takes medication for it yet you rarely see her without a glass of wine in her hand (and when i say glass of wine i mean she fills a 14oz stemless red wine glass to the top). It causes her to be incredibly erratic with violent mood swings, temper tantrums and periods of complete insanity.
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    Jun 15, 2012 4:59 PM GMT
    RoadsterRacer87 said
    BuddyinNYC saidDrinking to loosen up (even daily) is normal, but to "get drunk" - definitely a deal breaker. Drunkenness is repulsive.
    I have no problem judging a person for doing drugs and drunkenness. People judge and these are most reasonable things to judge a person on. Responsibility can be lax, but never let low to these levels.
    I can think of a few guys I've encountered who would otherwise be great to hang with if it weren't for their alcohol abuse. It's a pity that their abuse so counters and nearly negates their good points.


    there's also a difference between "drunk" and "shit-faced". Someone who occasionally gets "drunk" isn't so much of a problem as someone who goes out and parties, getting "shit-faced" in the process on a regular basis. "Drunk" in my opinion is usually more often an accident and can stop there or progress into "shit-faced" (i just fall asleep after i pass the threshold into "drunk"). "Shit-faced" is where the crazy stuff starts happening and where a person can become a danger to themselves and others.

    Another problem is people who drink despite the fact that they are on prescription medications. My psycho roommate is diagnosed manic/bipolar and takes medication for it yet you rarely see her without a glass of wine in her hand (and when i say glass of wine i mean she fills a 14oz stemless red wine glass to the top). It causes her to be incredibly erratic with violent mood swings, temper tantrums and periods of complete insanity.



    Yes there are differences. At the same time people have to learn their limits. If a guy has been drinking for years and still doesn't know his limits (or doesn't care) - that would be a total no-go for me ("Deal-breaker" as the OP asks). People have to be accountable.
    As for someone with a problematic disease (psycho, etc. and abuses alcohol in addition to that) I've just learned to keep away. Life has enough problems, and I don't want to bring more to my doorstep.
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    Jun 15, 2012 5:18 PM GMT
    BuddyinNYC said
    RoadsterRacer87 said
    BuddyinNYC saidDrinking to loosen up (even daily) is normal, but to "get drunk" - definitely a deal breaker. Drunkenness is repulsive.
    I have no problem judging a person for doing drugs and drunkenness. People judge and these are most reasonable things to judge a person on. Responsibility can be lax, but never let low to these levels.
    I can think of a few guys I've encountered who would otherwise be great to hang with if it weren't for their alcohol abuse. It's a pity that their abuse so counters and nearly negates their good points.


    there's also a difference between "drunk" and "shit-faced". Someone who occasionally gets "drunk" isn't so much of a problem as someone who goes out and parties, getting "shit-faced" in the process on a regular basis. "Drunk" in my opinion is usually more often an accident and can stop there or progress into "shit-faced" (i just fall asleep after i pass the threshold into "drunk"). "Shit-faced" is where the crazy stuff starts happening and where a person can become a danger to themselves and others.

    Another problem is people who drink despite the fact that they are on prescription medications. My psycho roommate is diagnosed manic/bipolar and takes medication for it yet you rarely see her without a glass of wine in her hand (and when i say glass of wine i mean she fills a 14oz stemless red wine glass to the top). It causes her to be incredibly erratic with violent mood swings, temper tantrums and periods of complete insanity.



    Yes there are differences. At the same time people have to learn their limits. If a guy has been drinking for years and still doesn't know his limits (or doesn't care) - that would be a total no-go for me ("Deal-breaker" as the OP asks). People have to be accountable.
    As for someone with a problematic disease (psycho, etc. and abuses alcohol in addition to that) I've just learned to keep away. Life has enough problems, and I don't want to bring more to my doorstep.



    agreed. it only took 2 times (for two types of alcoholic beverages) for me to learn my limit and i do NOT like going past it. A former co-worker (who also happened to be underage at the time) would go out drinking every other night with the expressed purpose of getting shit-faced and then driving his car home, racing friends on public roads in his intoxicated condition. When he wrecked his car his dad helped him buy a new one (he also had anger issues, punching in his newly-tinted windshield over a phone conversation). Heavy drinking is often a sign of other, potentially hidden personal issues and problems.

    As for my roommate...well, i didn't know just how messed up she was when she moved in (and i'm stuck with her until mid-august when my landlady offered to cut the lease and pro-rate me a new 1br)
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    Jun 15, 2012 5:36 PM GMT
    Inbefore paulflexes posts something funny.


    I don't really care about other people drinking too much. As long as it doesn't make them miss a get together with me, or something like that that would affect my life. I did know someone who had some kind of abdominal pain when he drank, and I would get sympathy pain watching him like that.
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    Jun 15, 2012 5:43 PM GMT
    SkinnyBitch saidInbefore paulflexes posts something funny.
    Sorry I'm late. I was busy drinking to get drunk.