Is their Distance between you and your Dad.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 16, 2012 3:13 AM GMT
    My dad says he still loves me but other than that he acts as if I am not gay and like I never mentioned it. It is like an awkward distance and it has always been there.

    We just aren't as close as I would like to be.

    Does anyone else have issues with their father?
    Are you close the way you want to be?
    Do you feel like your dad truly accepts you?
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    Jun 16, 2012 3:20 AM GMT
    Yeah, Idk if I'd want to be closer with my dad, not at this point. If I would go back in time and make better decisions and do things differently then maybe.
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    Jun 16, 2012 3:24 AM GMT
    Is their Distance between you and your Dad.

    Yep! At least 6 feet and that's a damn good distance!
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jun 16, 2012 3:35 AM GMT
    Yeh, I'm in San Francisco, and he's buried in Andover, NY.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jun 16, 2012 3:36 AM GMT
    Yes....one Hell of a long distance...icon_confused.gif
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    Jun 16, 2012 3:36 AM GMT
    Very good relationship.
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    Jun 16, 2012 3:37 AM GMT
    malefeet saidYes....one Hell of a long distance...icon_confused.gif
    Pssst.. thats only 6 feet away!
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    Jun 16, 2012 3:58 AM GMT
    I never knew my dad much, but I do know he's a horrible person and has been trying to contact me a lot more lately. So yes, their is a good bit of distance between us.
  • araphael

    Posts: 1148

    Jun 16, 2012 4:14 AM GMT
    Okay, I will give my culturally honest answer to your question here dude. Based on what I know of Euro American culture, I would advise all white gay guys to push the issue with their fathers and be aggressive about it proclaiming their gayness identity. But, with African American guys I would advise not to do this with your fathers. Our cultures are different on this point. If your father doesn't mention or talk about your gayness to you even though you have told him you were gay, I would leave it alone. His attempts to continue to treat you as just his son, not his gay son, is actually a great compliment to the fact that he has accepted you for who you say you are. Now I know that you will probably ignore what I am saying and accept the great wisdom and authority from people who are not African American about your culture that will be posted here (because everyone in the world is an expert on African American culture except African Americans themselves, lol) regarding how to deal with your African American father, but I was just trying to actually give you wise advise coming from my African American cultural experience which could be quite different from yours actually, I think? But I'm not really that intelligent a guy and my opinions are often based in ignorance. So if you ignore it, I totally understand dude. I mean, I grew up around white surfer dudes all of my life so I'm probably not the best authority on African American culture. lol.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jun 16, 2012 7:06 PM GMT
    araphael saidOkay, I will give my culturally honest answer to your question here dude. Based on what I know of Euro American culture, I would advise all white gay guys to push the issue with their fathers and be aggressive about it proclaiming their gayness identity. But, with African American guys I would advise not to do this with your fathers. Our cultures are different on this point. If your father doesn't mention or talk about your gayness to you even though you have told him you were gay, I would leave it alone. His attempts to continue to treat you as just his son, not his gay son, is actually a great compliment to the fact that he has accepted you for who you say you are. Now I know that you will probably ignore what I am saying and accept the great wisdom and authority from people who are not African American about your culture that will be posted here (because everyone in the world is an expert on African American culture except African Americans themselves, lol) regarding how to deal with your African American father, but I was just trying to actually give you wise advise coming from my African American cultural experience which could be quite different from yours actually, I think? But I'm not really that intelligent a guy and my opinions are often based in ignorance. So if you ignore it, I totally understand dude. I mean, I grew up around white surfer dudes all of my life so I'm probably not the best authority on African American culture. lol.


    The business of business....is business...icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 16, 2012 7:07 PM GMT
    None at all. My dad was better than my mom when i came out to them.
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    Jun 16, 2012 7:08 PM GMT
    Josh1992 saidI never knew my dad much, but I do know he's a horrible person and has been trying to contact me a lot more lately. So yes, their is a good bit of distance between us.


    aww
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 16, 2012 7:11 PM GMT
    Never knew my dad. icon_confused.gif
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    Jun 16, 2012 7:12 PM GMT
    Big difference for me and my dad. Awful person. Stole my college money and etc. Good thing I got my last name changed.
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    Jun 16, 2012 7:14 PM GMT
    JamieJfromtheA saidMy dad says he still loves me but other than that he acts as if I am not gay and like I never mentioned it. It is like an awkward distance and it has always been there.

    We just aren't as close as I would like to be.

    Does anyone else have issues with their father?
    Are you close the way you want to be?
    Do you feel like your dad truly accepts you?


    Same thing here. When I told my parents I'm gay I moved out cause I knew they wouldn't accept it....so once they finally did they said they were okay with it and told me I can bring whoever I want home.

    And the other day my dad asked me do I have a girlfriend....I just ignored him and left since he's a troll.
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    Jun 16, 2012 7:15 PM GMT
    CrankyMcBadass said
    FilmGuy18_notporn saidBig difference for me and my dad. Awful person. Stole my college money and etc. Good thing I got my last name changed.

    Wow.
    I'm really sorry to hear that.


    Thanks. There's still a ton more of things, but then I would have to write a short novel.
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    Jun 16, 2012 7:15 PM GMT
    About 8 feet I'd say. icon_razz.gif
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    Jun 16, 2012 7:18 PM GMT
    I'm also pretty close to my dad, but that didn't really happen until I left for college.
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    Jun 16, 2012 7:24 PM GMT
    About 8 feet. He is dead and buried.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jun 16, 2012 7:25 PM GMT
    7,800 miles, give or take a few
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 16, 2012 7:27 PM GMT
    yes. today i lapped him by a second on the track (he tried to blame it on bad tires, lol)
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    Jun 16, 2012 7:39 PM GMT
    I talk with my father over the phone a few times a year - just a quick catchup and then back to our own lives. We don't talk about my sex life. He's Bajan and homosexuality isn't tolerated in Barbados, so I haven't given much thought to when I'm going to talk about it with him. What we have works for us, and I'm not ready to change it.

    I kind of only responded to this thread to say yes, there is a bit of distance between my father and me.
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    Jun 16, 2012 7:46 PM GMT
    My dad's about 30 physical miles away, but I keep him millions of mental & emotional miles away.

  • Dbrad3693

    Posts: 227

    Jun 16, 2012 8:04 PM GMT
    My father and I have issues.. not because of my sexual orientation. (My dad actually has two lesbian friends)

    Dispite that, my dad does not know im gay, only my mom and sister know,

    My dad and I have not spoken in a long time, we tried to work out our problems numerous times, to no avail. So I believe its better if we just dont speak.
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    Jun 16, 2012 8:11 PM GMT
    Sad to hear that so many posters here don't get along with their dads. My dad couldn't be a better person, and he's one of my best friends. He's an inspiration and someone whom I truly look up to. We talk AT LEAST once a week, more if I've got stuff going on and need someone who will listen and give honest, unbiased feedback. I was worried how our relationship would be impacted when I came out to him and my mom a few years ago, but nothing has a changed at all. Hell, sometimes I wonder if that conversation was just a figment of my imagination.