When a friend who does not you are gay, introduces a girl to you...

  • Shark100

    Posts: 234

    Jun 16, 2012 2:18 PM GMT
    I have this guy friend he insisted to introduce girl friends to me, I usually reject the invitations but this time I accepted, then it happened, she is great,pretty, smart, awesome should say...but even when she is so great I know I am gay and don't want to hurt her if I go further... Has it happened to you before?, what did you do?
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    Jun 16, 2012 2:20 PM GMT
    Shark100 saidI have this guy friend he insisted to introduce girl friends to me, I usually reject the invitations but this time I accepted, then it happened, she is great,pretty, smart, awesome should say...but even when she is so great I know I am gay and don't want to hurt her if I go further... Has it happened to you before?, what did you do?
    Just tell her your gay and get it over with.. maybe ya'll can be BFFs!icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jun 16, 2012 2:22 PM GMT
    Why don't you just come out....it's not like you live in Saudi Arabia.
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    Jun 16, 2012 2:38 PM GMT
    Well if you are dead set against coming out, you're lying anyway so just make up a lie about not wanting to date anyone or something.

    Note: In cases like this, I find lying forgiveable since there are consequences for telling the truth. "on the grounds that it may incriminate me"
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    Jun 16, 2012 3:40 PM GMT
    Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
    Just stick the tip in and see if you want more.
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    Jun 16, 2012 4:15 PM GMT
    Of course the easy answer is ask her if she's got a single brother, or a divorced/widowed dad, depending on your tastes.

    My issue with this is that out of the closet, when do you ever hear stories about how someone's str8 friend introduced two gay guys like they would set up their str8 friends on dates. Is there a str8 person left who doesn't know at least two gay people?

    I met the love of my life only because our mothers introduced us. But rarely are we treated in this stupid ass fucking world as 100% human, not even among our loving family and friends. Not even to set up a fucking date. Shame on them.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Jun 16, 2012 4:23 PM GMT
    Ask her how she'd feel about wearing a strap-on.
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    Jun 16, 2012 5:30 PM GMT
    Timbales saidAsk her how she'd feel about wearing a strap-on.


    This.
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    Jun 16, 2012 5:33 PM GMT
    as soon as you have a chance where he's not looking, shoot her a knowing glance with your best gay wink and then roll your eyes in his direction, attempting to signal what you mean. a hand on a hip might help convey the message (or you know, you could wait until he steps away and just, i don't know...TELL HER.
  • tazzari

    Posts: 2929

    Jun 16, 2012 5:35 PM GMT
    I never have this problem because I'm totally out. Problem solved.
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    Jun 16, 2012 5:37 PM GMT
    I remember this issue last year. Could totally tell this girl was into me (God only knows why) and I did everything I could to make her disinterested. I made rude jokes constantly (thats what she said, your mum, etc.) I smoked an entire pack of Camels. I acted disinterested and boring. Didn't get her off. Ultimately, it was just a matter of "LIsten, not into girls." icon_neutral.gif
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    Jun 16, 2012 5:50 PM GMT
    You're not out. Because of that choice, this is what you're going to have to deal with.

    At least your friends care enough about you to introduce you to pretty, smart, awesome people.

    What are you going to do if/when you find a boyfriend? Hide him from your friends? Wow! That would certainly say a lot about YOU as a "friend".

    You're 30. Grow a pair.
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    Jun 16, 2012 5:56 PM GMT
    ask her if she knows any hot guys icon_lol.gif
  • nefficles

    Posts: 511

    Jun 16, 2012 6:02 PM GMT
    well my answer would be why did you even say yes in the first place?

    you know that you don't like girls. i know everyone so far has been "oh just come out." or "ask her if she has a gay brother", but why even put yourself in that situation in the first place?
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    Jun 16, 2012 6:02 PM GMT
    "You're amazing.. But, do you have a hot brother I could date instead?"

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    Jun 16, 2012 8:02 PM GMT
    Well, back when I wasn't out I went to my Great Uncle's roast. I was immediately introduced to a girl that it was clear they were trying to set me up with. I was seated next to her. Every other question from those seated around us focused on one of us telling something about ourselves. And oh the awkwardness of those questions:

    "What are you doing for a career?"

    "What do you like in a girl?"

    "How many children do you want to have?"

    Seriously. It gave me a flavor of the anxiety people in arranged marriages must feel. What do I like in a girl? Well, it helps if she has hot guy friends to start.

    One thing it did do was make me realize I needed to tell people, or this kind of thing would continue.
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    Jun 16, 2012 8:18 PM GMT
    Do what closeted guys have done always done.
    Make up an imaginary girlfriend who lives out of town. You're already lying to your friends about being straight, so this shouldn't be too much of a stretch for you.
    Date a girl and have a sexless relationship with her. Yes, you're basically stringing the poor woman along and wasting her time. On the plus side, it saves you from answering embarrassing questions about your love life.

    Your friends will wonder why you're single and not dating or even interested in dating.
    Your options are basically to lie to your friends and hurt some poor woman, or, you know, just to come out.


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    Jun 16, 2012 8:31 PM GMT
    Tell your friend that your type of girl is taller... probably heavier... works out a fair deal... probably has some facial hair...

    ... and a penis.
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    Jun 16, 2012 8:36 PM GMT
    LarkinTell your friend that your type of girl is taller... probably heavier... works out a fair deal... probably has some facial hair...

    ... and a penis


    This might work.
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    Jun 16, 2012 8:45 PM GMT
    He suspects you are gay, and he's pushing girls at you to force you to admit it. Maybe he isn't as straight as you think.
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    Jun 16, 2012 8:47 PM GMT
    Shark100 saidI have this guy friend he insisted to introduce girl friends to me, I usually reject the invitations but this time I accepted, then it happened, she is great,pretty, smart, awesome should say...but even when she is so great I know I am gay and don't want to hurt her if I go further... Has it happened to you before?, what did you do?


    I think it's time you tell your friend that you like dudes.
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    Jun 16, 2012 8:48 PM GMT
    Larkin saidTell your friend that your type of girl is taller... probably heavier... works out a fair deal... probably has some facial hair...

    ... and a penis.


    Pretty sure his friend would stop him at "facial hair."