Male versus female doctors...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 09, 2007 8:42 PM GMT
    Just curious - I'm in the process of hunting down a new primary care doc and am faced with recommendations that include two women and one man. I've had a female doc before and while it was ok, I just generally preferred having a male doc. I appreciate why women prefer female docs (esp for gyno). Anyone else have thoughts on this? Is this just a hang-up I should get over?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 09, 2007 9:10 PM GMT
    Don't be homocentric when it comes to your health. Choose the best doctor and use no other criteria.
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    Aug 09, 2007 9:35 PM GMT
    Find the best Internist you can.

    Given that the Docs are equal...

    Why not be comfortable with who you are going to? If you are comfortable and at ease then you might have a better relationship with them which in turn could lead to better care.

    R
  • DiverScience

    Posts: 1426

    Aug 09, 2007 10:32 PM GMT
    I care only who listens to me and explains things.

    I could give a crap if he's the hottest gay man on two legs or a wrinkled ugly hag.

    If she doesn't understand that when I'm there I probably should have been there two weeks ago, she's gone.

    If he doesn't explain why he's giving me what he's giving me, he's gone.

    If she doesn't LISTEN when I tell her things, she's gone.


    One of my two favorite current doctors is a woman. Why? Because she went on a rampage through the hospital when she found out another doctor had ignored my problem and sent me home without help. The other's a man, because he sat and explained shit when I asked.
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    Aug 09, 2007 10:37 PM GMT
    Ditto what Diver said. My favorite doctor ever was a woman who listened very well. She left Kaiser and now I have a man who is almost as good.

    However, for my eye infection last week, I had to see a female subbing for my regular doc and she didn't listen to a damn thing I said....and so I ended up getting bad treatment and having to return to another doctor this week.

    It is continually astonishing to me how many really really really bad doctors there are.
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    Aug 09, 2007 11:11 PM GMT
    OW is right. There was actually a great story in the NYT about a study that was done concerning doctors who either A) don't listen to their patients and/or B) spend more time talking about themselves.

    The whole article was unnerving, particularly given the state of our healthcare system. You are faced with another challenge, Gigaram, in that the northeast (particularly MA) is experiencing a great shortage in primary care physicians. You may find a good one, and they are either not accepting new patients, or some have a 7 WEEK wait time. Absolutely unacceptable in my mind.

    Above all, gender doesn't matter beyond personal preference. Competency, compassion and someone who will hear you out about your concerns should be the only things you focus on. If you are more comfortable around one sex, then follow your feelings. The last thing you'd ever want to do is not report something to your physician because you aren't comfortable being open and honest with them.

    The physician/patient relationship SHOULD be a relationship. You sit down, discuss issues, collaboratively come up with a treatment plan and implement it. The whole HMO-mandated "you must see X # of patients a day" crap is severely cutting into the quality of health care.

    Good luck!
  • dfrourke

    Posts: 1062

    Aug 09, 2007 11:17 PM GMT
    ...I have found female doctors tend to display less "God complex" characteristics than their male counterparts...but that is just a personal opinion...

    ...I have a female doctor...and connected with her very quickly...

    - David
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    Aug 09, 2007 11:54 PM GMT
    I should have given more disclosure. My husband is an intern at Yale so I definitely have an inside track. So in terms of getting a good one, that probably won't be a problem. Which explains in part why I felt kind of silly even hesitating to just go with one of the women who, incidentally, are closer to me than the male doc. Thanks - decision made.
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    Aug 10, 2007 3:19 AM GMT
    Good for you!

    Like everyone said here, just because you have or do not have a penis does not determine what makes a good doctor!

    There are plenty of good and bad of both male and female...
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    Aug 10, 2007 3:26 AM GMT
    I'm going to need to do this soon, myself. To me the gender of the doctor isn't that significant. The other criteria that several have listed here count more, as does the doctor's philosophies and general manner.

    I'll probably conduct a quasi interview of candidates and see whose answers satisfy me the most.
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    Aug 10, 2007 4:29 AM GMT
    If the doctor doesn't get right to the point then it's time to find a new one. I mean come on who wants a doctor who beats around the bush and doesnt give a real answer. Any one watch Myster Dignoasis on TLC?
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    Aug 10, 2007 5:57 AM GMT
    ...I have found female doctors tend to display less "God complex" characteristics than their male counterparts...but that is just a personal opinion...

    I have also on occasion asked to see a nurse practitioner or PA at Kaiser. They invariably listen better and are more holistic-minded.

    Um, has anyone had a female doctor perform a digital exam of his prostate?
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Aug 10, 2007 9:48 AM GMT
    I have no gender preference. But if I have a choice between two doctor ,one man , one women everything else fair and equal. I take the man.
    For obvious reason I am more cormfortable with men. Male bosses, male taxi driver , male tour guide, male politician,male customer....come to think about it I have no female friend outside of the one at workplace.

    It so much different when I was a kid when nearly all my friend are girls. I dont hate the female gender though, just prefer to be with man.
  • DiverScience

    Posts: 1426

    Aug 10, 2007 1:11 PM GMT
    Never for my prostate, but for something else, yes.

    ::shrugs:: The only thing I found hilarious was that they really do use KY gel for it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 10, 2007 1:29 PM GMT
    LOL - well, if we're going to share DiverScience, I was getting checked out for something back during my free wheeling youth and the doc said, "This might hurt a little." I had to bite my lip to keep from saying "Cha, that's what HE said!"
  • DiverScience

    Posts: 1426

    Aug 10, 2007 1:45 PM GMT
    ::chuckles::

    This checkup was not the result of "freewheeling" so much as a rogue intestinal bacteria.
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    Aug 10, 2007 1:52 PM GMT
    I had a sigmoidoscopy last year and it was given by a lesbian who literally burst out singing "Getting to Know You" as she inserted the weapon.

    (I know she was a lesbian because we turned out to have mutual friends.)
  • jc_online

    Posts: 487

    Aug 10, 2007 2:23 PM GMT
    I agree with Ital, ask dome questions of a couple docs before deciding. Generally, I've usually sought out a gay male doc because he would likely be more in touch with specific gay male health issues.

    I had a female doc that I really liked for awhile, but I chose to leave her because she refused to understand the value of a pap test for gay men, even after I took her an article about the risks of colon cancer in sexually active gay men. So I dumped her.

    I moved about a year ago, and haven't been to a doc, or even begun the process to find one in my area...probablly about time for that interview process.