Unprotected sex

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 20, 2012 1:10 AM GMT
    There's a guy I just met who's practically begging me to have sex without a condom. He says he's going to show me all of the tests he's been having for 5 years, but ... but I don't know. I feel weird about it . Do you think it's safe ?
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    Jun 20, 2012 1:13 AM GMT
    Don't do it if you have even a small amount of doubt. You gotta be completely sure.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Jun 20, 2012 1:34 AM GMT
    no
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Jun 20, 2012 5:41 AM GMT
    Duh . . .
    Of course it's not safe. Unprotected sex is the sexual equivalent of Russian roulette. You may not catch AIDS the first time, but in the long run the odds are against you. Try throwing chum in the ocean and swimming among the sharks. Probably a great thrill - and it's possible you might not get bitten. But if your luck runs out . . . not so much fun.
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    Jun 20, 2012 12:30 PM GMT
    Don't be stupid!!!! This guy is asking you to take a chance with your health - I would stay away from him, no matter how hot he is.
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    Jun 20, 2012 1:30 PM GMT

    NO!! IT'S NOT SAFE! (apologies for shouting) icon_redface.gif
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    Jun 20, 2012 4:46 PM GMT
    Okay, Okay I won't do it... stop yelling at me eveyone !!icon_redface.gif

    No but seriously thanks. I'm not stupid , I'm aware of the risks. I'm just confused about how stuff like that gets decided.
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    Jun 20, 2012 5:16 PM GMT
    With HIV and many other viral infections such as Hepatitis, there is a window period where the antibodies don't show up on a test (3 months roughly).

    Therefore, even if his test result papers are legit and negative, he could have contracted HIV (or any other disease) within the last 3 months TO A YEAR (yes it can take up to a year to seroconvert) and still pass it onto you as his immune system has not yet had enough time to create antibodies against the virus, which is what the HIV test detects.

    Unfortunately, within this time frame (from him contracting HIV and eventually seroconverting and having antibodies show up in blood tests) he is the most infective as the body has not had time to combat the virus levels down.

    If a man is 'HIV antibody negative' on paper, he is either free of the HIV virus or has the virus in very high numbers and is very infectious.

    Always wear a condom.
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    Jun 20, 2012 5:28 PM GMT
    If it is a mutual decision then thats one thing. But in this case the answer should be 'no' and put some distance between you and him.
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    Jun 20, 2012 5:29 PM GMT
    Saad22 saidOkay, Okay I won't do it... stop yelling at me eveyone !!icon_redface.gif

    No but seriously thanks. I'm not stupid , I'm aware of the risks. I'm just confused about how stuff like that gets decided.


    Whew! Thank you. We're yelling because you matter. icon_wink.gif

    As for your latest question, the answer is different couple to couple.

    In our case, we'd made a very firm commitment to monogamy, completely opened our lives up to each other, went to the Doc together, gave him written permission to discuss each other without us both being there, and got all the STD tests done, then all again three months later, then after that just the HIV test 6 months later. THEN (and by then we'd been together for over a year) and after a lot of soul searching with each other, we took the plunge.
  • Hothouse

    Posts: 2204

    Jun 20, 2012 6:45 PM GMT
    Saad22 saidOkay, Okay I won't do it... stop yelling at me eveyone !!icon_redface.gif

    No but seriously thanks. I'm not stupid , I'm aware of the risks. I'm just confused about how stuff like that gets decided.


    Some people decide to do stupid things.

    Some guys make the decision to have unprotected sex - and a lot of guys seek it out. Some guys will try to convince others to do it with them, and they don't give a shit about the other guys health. Some guys try to trick other guys into doing it.

    Your decision to only have protected sex has to be made long before you meet some guy who tries to convince you to do it. Then, when you are faced with a guy who wants to go raw you can tell him no - you've already decided against doing that.

    IMO - the only time it's acceptable is after entering into a long term, monogamous, committed relationship.
  • charlethorp1

    Posts: 1

    Jun 20, 2012 6:56 PM GMT
    28FEDAA9
    22FF1C63 add these please ones me and the other is my friend but we can't find our perfect match and we need a frisky partner each icon_razz.gif
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    Jun 20, 2012 8:07 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    NO!! IT'S NOT SAFE! (apologies for shouting) icon_redface.gif
    This! ^

    his 'negative' HIV test doesnt include herpesicon_wink.gif or any other std. He could have sero converted yesterday!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 20, 2012 8:39 PM GMT
    just as a tangent, unlike heterosex...there is nothing to truly be bred. if you don't get to fuck raw, it won't mean you won't make a baby you might have otherwise. in the same way that our culture promotes wealth and fame as goals that people don't question, porn promotes the most hetero-normative acts as the "hottest" things. but what is most intimate is subject and what is not erotic is subjective (look at other cultures, where napes are hotter than boobs). someone who doesn't know how to have a great time without defaulting to the easiest sex acts is likely not mature enough to be creative enough to warrant any real risk for you anyway.

    when all is said and done, you are the one who is responsible for yourself. even spouses can walk out on your or die, you will be the one in the doctors office with anything you might catch...and bloodtests don't give a damn about what you thought you could count on.
  • JJ_Atoli

    Posts: 295

    Jun 21, 2012 7:35 PM GMT
    Don't do it.

    Don't take that risk with someone you just met. Nuff said.