what scare us the most? by NickJoe

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    Mar 03, 2007 6:27 PM GMT
    as gay-bi-sexual,males;it will be interesting to find out what are really afraid off;is it aging?,,not having friends?,,being alone? etc,etc,,,
  • MarkX

    Posts: 101

    Mar 03, 2007 7:12 PM GMT
    At age 40, I worry about saving for retirement. I'm worried about ignorant and phobic political agendas. I'm worried about physical atrophy. I suppose there are many things in life to worry about.

    But you asked what I'm afraid of. I fear the remote possibility of ever losing my sight. I sometimes fear that I've set such a high bar for my artistic achievements that any failure will knock me off my pedestal.

    There is a distinct difference between worries--things we can act on--and fears--things essentially out of our control. (My definitions, not Webster's.)

    But specific to your topic, as gay and bisexual men... I wonder if there is anything we worry about that is all that distinct from what all humans worry about.

    To come out as a Star Trek geek:

    "What we do is no different from what you do. We talk and laugh. We complain about work. And we wonder about growing old. We talk about our families and we worry about the future. And we cry with each other when things seem hopeless. All of the loving things that you do with each other - that is what we do."
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    Mar 04, 2007 4:31 AM GMT
    Good topic...

    For me, and this is quite personal...I fear loss and hurt after meeting someone and we hit it off really well.
    Just met this great guy recently, and we're dating. And now that he is in my life, I sometimes fear that I might get hurt or lose him.

    Anything else I can live with, just the hurt part that cuts like a knife.

    I have always been happy alone and independent, so it's not like I NEED to relationship, but when I embark on one, it is always with someone I consider exceptionally special.

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    Mar 04, 2007 5:28 AM GMT
    Those in our community who DO NOT practice SAFE SEX ......
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    Mar 04, 2007 7:27 AM GMT
    What sends me into a instant deperate whirlwind is the attacks against Gay people. Young,middleaged,seniors..I can't belive how(after being gaybashed myself recently)society still allows this to happen. But when we ask for help: Police or the authorities-we are ignored until something very dangerously happens,hence another Hate crime in America. I can use my eyes,hearing or any material things if I am dead.
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    Mar 04, 2007 7:28 AM GMT
    typo"I can't use anything if I am dead"..sorry its life I guess.
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    Mar 04, 2007 8:56 AM GMT
    What a beautiful question. Consciously, I think that (to paraphrase the poet) I don't wan to come to the end of my life and discover I have not lived.

    Consequently, I do all sorts of wild shit and I can't stay still. One of my soul-mates, who makes my life rich, said to me that I undermine my own desire for grounding by never staying in one place. Perhaps. But I have all these soul-mates, paladin.

    Honestly, I am afraid of dying alone. Not, I mean with a lover, but with friends, community; like life is this musical chairs and when the song is over, will I be standing, alone?

    Yo no soy yo, soy este...

    I know I won't, no one will. To think that I am not connected, to even you who I have never meet who is reading this now, is delusional.

    But, I'm still afraid; and so I run round the surface of the earth, unanchored; or so it seems...
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    Mar 05, 2007 2:10 AM GMT
    Easy, When I am in my darkest hour I get worried that I will never share my life with someone special.

    Two reasons. The first is the obvious one. Not many people want to be aging and alone. Cooking for one gets old.

    The second one: I would hate for my very religious Jehovah Witness family to point at me and be able to say “we told you so.”

    Luckily, those hours don't come around often.
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    Mar 05, 2007 4:17 AM GMT
    being alone forever, cancer, aliens, aids, and drowning.
  • dfrourke

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    Mar 05, 2007 6:00 AM GMT
    Interesting question...as I believe what holds most of us back in life comes down to some basic fear...

    For me...

    1. That my life wont have meaning after I am gone. I am really struggling with the kids question to pass down what I know.

    2. That my life wont be witnessed by someone else. Not necessarily that I will be lonely, because I have some really quality people in my life, but there is an intimacy component in the first sentence that I hope will be there [especially after my parents are gone.]

    - David
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    Mar 05, 2007 6:22 AM GMT
    Never getting out of debt, and not being able to take care of my family
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    Mar 05, 2007 8:34 AM GMT
    Well after reading everyines agenda in reference to this topic, I see that we all just wnat to be loved. Its human nature and I love my partner,my family,my friends and ofcourse Jennifer Hudson.(and Canukdave)
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    Mar 05, 2007 8:36 AM GMT
    Well after reading everyines agenda in reference to this topic, I see that we all just want to be loved. Its human nature. I am afraid of aging to the point of who is going to care for me(us).. and I love my partner,my family,my friends and ofcourse Jennifer Hudson.(and Canukdave)
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    Mar 07, 2007 2:31 AM GMT
    waking up and finding Ann Coulter in my bed.


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    Mar 07, 2007 11:03 PM GMT
    its amazing ,how many fears, we all deal with, in our daily life .i try to embrace it and dig deep ,to see if i can make it a strength
  • phill

    Posts: 117

    Mar 08, 2007 12:50 AM GMT
    I think this gets me through my day, Buddah once said that we create what we defend against.

    To that end i fear that my morals will push those i love away. (im a hard vegetarian and it helped end one relationship because of the difficulty therein)

    Im not afraid of dieing i have dealt with my mortality, at times im fearful of living. Everyone has a history that shapes the fabric of there being and mine has been trying. I fear the success that action might bring.

    I once told a friend " I was born with my own sense of divinity it has been my life to find my humanity" and thats really it. At the end of my life will i have become the things that i percieved as right for me. Will i have become comfortable in my own skin enough to know who i am, not whom someone makes me be.
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    Mar 09, 2007 9:06 PM GMT
    snakes, teenage punks swerving into my lane while texting, anvils falling from tall buildings, mullets, president hillary
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    Mar 09, 2007 10:27 PM GMT
    meaby this might help someone,,,, 1;DO MORE THAN EXIST: LIVE 2:DO MORE THAN TOUCH: FEEL 3:DO MORE THAN LOOK: OBSERVE 4:DO MORE THAN READ: ABSORB 5:DO MORE THAN HEAR: LISTEN 6:DO MORE THAN LISTEN:UNDERSTAND 7:DO MORE THAN THINK: REFLECT 8DO MORE THAN JUST TALK: SAY SOMETHING BY:M.D.V
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    Mar 15, 2007 8:28 PM GMT
    Wow what a deep question. I don't know what I fear.. really.. I live life day to day and what ever is thrown my way I feel is for a reason and I become stronger for overcoming a certain obsticle. whether it's financial or emotional or physical.

    I fear poverty.. (is that shallow?)
    I fear hatred.

    I guess that would be all for now..
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    Mar 15, 2007 8:35 PM GMT
    I'd say my biggest fear is TIME. By that I mean not having enough time to accomplish all that I set out to do with my life.
  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    Mar 15, 2007 11:25 PM GMT
    # 1 fear: Spiders. They used to paralyze me in fright as a child...now, I'm not as bad but a cold shiver runs across my body even just THINKING about them.

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    Mar 15, 2007 11:29 PM GMT
    Almost dying 3 years ago so that doesn't scare me. That I may do do and see everything that I want to does. Working real hard to to make sure I am never scared.
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    Apr 30, 2007 2:49 PM GMT
    owl975 "being alone forever, cancer, aliens, aids, and drowning."

    definitely! and i'd add losing one of my senses

    you talking phobias too? spiders, clowns, eyeballs in dolls, eyeballs in corpses, drain gutters

    i get scared easily though lol if i turn a corner and someones there i scream like a 10yo!

    when i was younger (not so much now lol), i thought that dolls came to life when you're asleep so if i had a doll i'd remove their eyes so if they do come alive, they couldn't find me. and i'd fully be in the forensics field if all the corpses were headless, can't stand gaping eyeballs
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    Apr 30, 2007 2:50 PM GMT
    seriously though, not being able to provide for my family is probably my biggest fear
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    Apr 30, 2007 6:49 PM GMT
    i think i speak for a lot of the gay community when i say the thing i am afraid of most is not finding love..... and those gay bashers out there cause they dont know how it is... in todays world there are still talkin goin aropund and we have come so far so yall dont give up, keep ur head high and dont listen if u are bothered by the comments