Moving out, but staying in the relationship

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 23, 2012 2:33 PM GMT
    Hello all,

    I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half now, and have been living together for the past year or so. There's been a lot of stuff that has happened in his personal life (family, friends, deaths, etc) that have happened over the past year, causing me to get frustrated about some aspects of our relationship. So, we've talked about it, and we think that part of it may be that we moved in together too soon... The latest idea on the chopping block is to have me move out into my own place, but remain together as a couple (and I would assume we would still crash at each others' places on a fairly regular basis).

    I'm not too sure how I feel about this idea yet, so I'm wondering if anyone else has gone through a similar process, how it worked out, tips, thoughts, etc?

    Happy Saturday!
  • monet

    Posts: 1120

    Jun 23, 2012 5:07 PM GMT
    Sounds like the begining of the end of your relationship.
  • UncleverName

    Posts: 741

    Jun 23, 2012 5:12 PM GMT
    Things are very different when you are living together. Lots of stupid things can annoy you or cause arguments that you don't have when you aren't living together.

    If you are both ok with the idea, I don't think it's the beginning of the end. But do you ultimately want to be living together, eventually? If yes, what's going to be different when you do so again?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 23, 2012 5:54 PM GMT
    monet saidSounds like the begining of the end of your relationship.

    Maybe yes.

    Maybe no.

    For some couples they just need more space and me-time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 23, 2012 7:43 PM GMT
    Since we don't know the intricacies of your personalities, it could mean the end of the relationship or it could not. It's hard to say not knowing much more.

    Personally, I prefer living apart because you don't get annoyed as much as someone said. When you do get to see each other, the moment is more precious. So it could in fact improve your relationship.
  • Havasu

    Posts: 135

    Jun 23, 2012 8:05 PM GMT
    One of my best friends moved in with his bf. They moved out. Then they continued "dating" for a few years. Currently, they're still apart but basically live together on weekends. Still a couple 7 years later, but not officially living together in the same place. I give them a few more years and they'll be living in the same place again. Having someone in your space 24/7 can be overwhelming.
  • Lanter

    Posts: 149

    Jun 23, 2012 8:13 PM GMT
    I wouldn't think so, in fact my guess is it could very well be better off in the long run. It is sort of like plants growing too closely together. If you were to take one out, the remaining one would have a really bare and undeveloped section in the newly vacated area. The point is that people need room to grow and develop as induviduals, before coming together. Most people, I know I do, need their own space and their alone time. If you get your own space, you have a place to go when pressures build. I have seen far too many people stay in toxic and unpleasant environments way too long. It is sometimes almost a feeling of entrapment. Separate household couples are very common in the 60+ crowd. Most of those people are either widowed or divorced and are settled down and just want to someone to have fun with on the weekends. Good Luck
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 23, 2012 8:15 PM GMT
    it sounds like your relationship is in a real tough spot
    I think if you and your bf want to eventually end the relationship then, yes, moving out is the right idea. However, you're moving backwards in the relationship if you move out. Does that really sound like the right thing to do? Don't you want to move forward?