Whys guys act like they don't care?

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    Jun 25, 2012 8:40 PM GMT
    From uncles, to fathers, to friends, it seems like most men don't want to take the time to show any concern, compassion, love, empathy or support to anyone unless its for some selfish reason, or to make themselves look good. And the times they do try to show these qualities... why does it usually seem harsh, tough, abrasive and without a lot of emotional thought? Men have feelings too, but why are so many of us, so mean to one another? Do you believe female friends are more approachable on an emotional level? Or is it just a personality/maturity factor? Do you have more female friends than male? Are the men in your life all about their own adgenda? Is male comradery missing in your life? Your answers and thoughts please....
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    Jun 25, 2012 9:16 PM GMT
    guyathome74 saidWhys guys act like they don't care?
    They're not acting.
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    Jun 25, 2012 9:48 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    guyathome74 saidWhys guys act like they don't care?
    They're not acting.


    wow. Although I think some care...
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    Jun 25, 2012 9:49 PM GMT
    guyathome74 said
    paulflexes said
    guyathome74 saidWhys guys act like they don't care?
    They're not acting.


    wow. Although I think some care...
    Those are the ones who are acting.
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    Jun 25, 2012 10:08 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    guyathome74 said
    paulflexes said
    guyathome74 saidWhys guys act like they don't care?
    They're not acting.


    wow. Although I think some care...
    Those are the ones who are acting.


    Nahh not all of them. I have some hope in humanity despite the masses.
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    Jun 25, 2012 10:44 PM GMT
    Men generally dont share feelings because its looked at as a sign of weakness (in most peoples mind) and is linked to femininity. We are raised to be strong, keep our mouths shut, and take care of business. Females tend to be more approachable because there is a natural tendency to nurture (atleast thats what people say) It all really depends on the female. I have more male friends then Female friends. I met most of my friends at work and I work in a male dominate field. Plus im an adrenaline junky and most AJ's tend to be men. I talk to a select few of my fiends about my personal problems. I dont feel the need to spread all my problems through all of my friends. Most of the men in my life and I have the same agenda which is "Live for today" I tend to hang out with spontaneous people. The type of guys that would take a road trip for the hell of it. Hope this answered ur questions icon_smile.gif
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    Jun 25, 2012 10:45 PM GMT
    guyathome74 said
    paulflexes said
    guyathome74 said
    paulflexes said
    guyathome74 saidWhys guys act like they don't care?
    They're not acting.


    wow. Although I think some care...
    Those are the ones who are acting.


    Nahh not all of them. I have some hope in humanity despite the masses.
    I have hope in humanity, but I'm not delusional enough to think that guys actually have emotional feelings. icon_razz.gif
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    Jun 25, 2012 11:28 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    guyathome74 said
    paulflexes said
    guyathome74 said
    paulflexes said
    guyathome74 saidWhys guys act like they don't care?
    They're not acting.


    wow. Although I think some care...
    Those are the ones who are acting.


    Nahh not all of them. I have some hope in humanity despite the masses.
    I have hope in humanity, but I'm not delusional enough to think that guys actually have emotional feelings. icon_razz.gif


    Being male and having emotional feelings isn't a state of delusion.
    Being male and not having emotional feelings at all is more like a state of under development and a lack of being in tune with oneself.
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    Jun 25, 2012 11:31 PM GMT
    guyathome74 said
    paulflexes said
    guyathome74 said
    paulflexes said
    guyathome74 said
    paulflexes said
    guyathome74 saidWhys guys act like they don't care?
    They're not acting.


    wow. Although I think some care...
    Those are the ones who are acting.


    Nahh not all of them. I have some hope in humanity despite the masses.
    I have hope in humanity, but I'm not delusional enough to think that guys actually have emotional feelings. icon_razz.gif


    Being male and having emotional feelings isn't a state of delusion.
    Being male and not having emotional feelings at all is more like a state of under development and a lack of being in tune with oneself.
    Being male and having emotional feelings is like being a cow that lobbies Congress to remove the death penalty for being a cow...especially the tasty Angus ones.
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    Jun 25, 2012 11:34 PM GMT
    Adonis_001 saidMen generally dont share feelings because its looked at as a sign of weakness (in most peoples mind) and is linked to femininity. We are raised to be strong, keep our mouths shut, and take care of business. Females tend to be more approachable because there is a natural tendency to nurture (atleast thats what people say) It all really depends on the female. I have more male friends then Female friends. I met most of my friends at work and I work in a male dominate field. Plus im an adrenaline junky and most AJ's tend to be men. I talk to a select few of my fiends about my personal problems. I dont feel the need to spread all my problems through all of my friends. Most of the men in my life and I have the same agenda which is "Live for today" I tend to hang out with spontaneous people. The type of guys that would take a road trip for the hell of it. Hope this answered ur questions icon_smile.gif


    That was awesome thanks. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jun 26, 2012 3:30 AM GMT
    I haven't experienced what you are talking about.....
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    Jun 26, 2012 3:49 AM GMT
    It is a matter of Westernized gender roles. Society in general has socialized men to gender roles in which it is considered a sign of weakness, lack of masculinity or gay stereotypes to show emotion or compassion. The 'tougher' an image a man projects of himself onto other males around him, the more likely he is to be accepted. The hetero-male world is essentially a game of survival of the fittest to draw on a little social Darwinianism.
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    Jun 26, 2012 4:14 AM GMT
    Thought provoking questions. All the answers that follow are generalities and certainly don't apply to everyone equally in all cases. The easy ones first. Most of my closest friends are male. They are plenty approachable and there is a pretty honest sharing there without any agenda. Personally, I understand guys better. To me many women see irrationally emotional. A guy I can reason with, and there seems to be an underlying interest in not having drama, so it seems to be far easier to settle any complications that arise. We also have an innate internal understanding of when to back off and let a guy cool off. We can bear postponing our own need to resolve a problem to prevent unhealthy levels of confrontation.

    As far as why guys seem to be abrasive, hard and selfish; in my opinion it is a combination of perceived gender roles, and the neurobiology of the male brain, along with missing male role role models that lead from legitimacy. Because of that there is a mistaken view in our culture about what it means to be a "real man". This leads to common mistakes in behavior mistaking things like being a prick for being "real", being abrasive and hard for being strong, being selfish for being decisive, doing whatever you feel like in the moment for leading from the heart and an awareness of the impact of your decisions, arrogant bravado/ "fronting" for a masculine sense of accomplishment, having money "bling"/having earned your status.

    That being said, thankfully, these are not the men I associate with, and life has led me to meet a series of extraordinary gentlemen that really get it. Those relationships give me hope that the typical punk is not the new portrait of manhood. In the end we become the 5 people we associate with most. So seek out the very best guys you can find and learn from them. Knuckleheads have always and will always be around, but they aren't the ones to pay attention to, because that's what they thrive off. Find the quietly confident, successful guys that lead with heart, mind and body; and you'll find some extraordinary gentlemen.
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    Jun 26, 2012 4:26 AM GMT
    @
    YngHungSFSD


    That was beautiful and very thought provoking. You are one lucky lad to have such great men in your life. Thanks for sharing your wisdom icon_biggrin.gif