How To End A Relationship With A Live-In Partner?

  • CalmSpirit

    Posts: 24

    Jun 25, 2012 8:59 PM GMT
    I am currently in a long-term relationship and share a home together (rental) with my partner. Unfortunately, due to issues that won't seem to go away in our relationship, even after counseling, I think that it's best that we end things. It doesn't help that my family loves him and his family loves me. And on top of that, we recently just moved into our new place which makes matters a little more difficult. I can't fathom moving on while still sharing a home after the breakup. I can afford to keep the place alone, however he cannot afford the place on his own.

    I'm really not sure how to:

    1) Approach my wanting to end the relationship to him.
    2) Our current living situation.

    Some advice, ideas or perspective would be appreciated.
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    Jun 25, 2012 9:03 PM GMT
    You probably won't like my answer, but the truth is it's going to be almost impossible to break-up while you're living together. When people break-up, they need to severe ties with each other (at least until both parties are over it). Even if this were a mutually agreed upon solution, it would still be hard, but from what I'm hearing, the guy doesn't even know you're wanting this. Is there no way to make plans to move out before breaking this news?
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    Jun 25, 2012 9:08 PM GMT
    CalmSpirit saidHow To End A Relationship With A Live-In Partner?
    Move out.
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    Jun 25, 2012 9:10 PM GMT
    BTW, my last post doesn't apply to everyone. My boyfriend on South Beach still lives with his ex (they own a condo together) and they've been broken up for over 3 years. They're still best friends and I enjoy hanging out with them.
  • CalmSpirit

    Posts: 24

    Jun 25, 2012 9:12 PM GMT
    Scruffypup saidYou probably won't like my answer, but the truth is it's going to be almost impossible to break-up while you're living together. When people break-up, they need to severe ties with each other (at least until both parties are over it). Even if this were a mutually agreed upon solution, it would still be hard, but from what I'm hearing, the guy doesn't even know you're wanting this. Is there no way to make plans to move out before breaking this news?


    I can move out, but this would cause breaking an EXPENSIVE lease that I know he would not be able to afford alone.
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    Jun 25, 2012 9:24 PM GMT
    CalmSpirit said
    Scruffypup saidYou probably won't like my answer, but the truth is it's going to be almost impossible to break-up while you're living together. When people break-up, they need to severe ties with each other (at least until both parties are over it). Even if this were a mutually agreed upon solution, it would still be hard, but from what I'm hearing, the guy doesn't even know you're wanting this. Is there no way to make plans to move out before breaking this news?


    I can move out, but this would cause breaking an EXPENSIVE lease that I know he would not be able to afford alone.



    Well, that makes things very difficult. I mean, assuming he's a grown man, I'm sure he will find a way to make ends meet, even if that means taking on a roommate in your place. If you break up, you've got to stop thinking of yourselves as one.
  • CalmSpirit

    Posts: 24

    Jun 25, 2012 9:32 PM GMT
    QUOTE AUTHOR GOES HEREWell, that makes things very difficult. I mean, assuming he's a grown man, I'm sure he will find a way to make ends meet, even if that means taking on a roommate in your place. If you break up, you've got to stop thinking of yourselves as one.


    True, I can't help but to care about his well being, especially since it's me who is coming to this decision. But I do see what you are saying.
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    Jun 25, 2012 10:31 PM GMT
    CalmSpirit said
    QUOTE AUTHOR GOES HEREWell, that makes things very difficult. I mean, assuming he's a grown man, I'm sure he will find a way to make ends meet, even if that means taking on a roommate in your place. If you break up, you've got to stop thinking of yourselves as one.


    True, I can't help but to care about his well being, especially since it's me who is coming to this decision. But I do see what you are saying.



    Yeah, that's what makes it so tough. Just remember you can still have concern for his wellbeing while at the same time relieving yourself from the responsibility of being his caretaker. It's a fine line, but you can do it.
  • CalmSpirit

    Posts: 24

    Jun 26, 2012 4:21 PM GMT
    Thanks for the words of wisdom.