FORUMS > All Things Gay Forum Rules

MadExistence saidMaybe you have a booger hanging. Check yourself before you wreck yourself!

Funny. That was my first thought.

It reminds a few months back, I noticed a fellow at the gym with a big bruise on his forehead. Whatever he banged his head against, I thought it must have been painful. A few moments later, I noticed another guy with a strikingly similar bruise right in the middle of his forehead. I wondered what the heck happened to these two. Then there was another...a woman was there in the facility with the same f'ing bruise. It was not until number four that I realized they were wearing their religion...it was Ash Wednesday.

homastj said

intensity69 said
Sheesh, these youngins want it all served-up on a silver platter these days....

on a slightly related note, this is actually a little alarming to me. i can't open up grindr without coming across some sassy brats (my generation) with some caption like "prove you're interesting" or "impress me." I mean wtf? makes me think there's something to the criticisms of my generation thinking we're special

It's a result of all that esteem building based on nothing. Everyone gets a trophy just for participating no matter how bad they sucked. Everyone gets a Valentine no matter that they are the most unlikeable, bratty kid in the class. Everyone gets an invitation to the birthday party even though they may be the most unfriendly, unliked kid in the school.

See what we have wrought?

MarcBodybuilding saidfrom work to gym. if they wanna ask something why not ask me . than just eye ball me.. feels like im being stalked by a raptor.....

It takes more effort to talk than to look. And, not everyone who looks wants to talk. AND, aren't you the guy who posted awhile back about getting on a muscle worship site? Um, yeah. No sympathy. You're asking for the looks by objectifying yourself. Now you know how women feel. Jus' sayin'.

lupsided saidI cannot stand it, when I see someone that interests me, I go up and start a conversation.

Um, with all due respect, this sounds annoying. I know you're young, and cute, and this strategy might work for you, but not everyone wants to be chatted up just because they happen to be seen. Just a thought...

7Famark said

ECnAZ said

7Famark saidNot everyone has the confidence to just walk up to someone and hit on them.

I think that's an innate fear of gays. Not because of the fear of rejection, per se, but there is also fear that the other guy is not gay and/or could get violent if they are not gay. Unless you are at pride, or in gay bar, or absolutely know the other guy is gay, there is always that hesitation of not knowing.

+1 even in cases where I've been pretty sure a guy at the gym or something is gay and checking me out, there's always that little voice in the back of my head saying "He's not gay, and when you hit on him - he's gonna beat your face in."

^This MARCBODYBUILDING. I wouldn't try hitting on someone on the off chance they may be gay but it turns out they aren't and their arms are big enough to pound me into the ground like a stake.

Don't you guys who bodybuild know how intimidating you are to normal sized people? I think that may be one of the reasons people are staring. That and the fact that, for some of us, all those muscles are a turn on.

I may go to the zoo and stare at the gorillas and wonder at their strength and powerful builds but I'm not going to climb the wall to get close in the off chance he may be into an interspecies hook up.

P.S. Please do not misconstrue. I'm not calling bodybuilders gorillas; I'm making an anaology with another muscular, powerful being to make a point.

I feel like a lot of men are "eyeballin" me when I'm out and about. I tend to trick myself into thinking all men are gay. I use peripheral vison like a bitch.

People stare. And not everyone is confident to the gills to just randomly hit on yous, especially when it we consider public affection in the gay community.

7Famark said"He's not gay, and when you hit on him - he's gonna beat your face in."

Part of the reasoning for #YCYL

Larkin said

Montague saidThey want the peen or they're judging you.

Or they want to hit it, but they're too weak to make the first move.

I would've said scared but weak works too I guess.

If I'm digging on you and I like what I see, hear and feel then I'll hit on you til I get a response. One of two things will happen: 1) You'll reply back in kind. 2) You'll reply back not so kindly.

In any case, i can take a hint and will leave it all however things go depending on the answer/response I get back. Basic observation skills work wonders for those who pay attention.

There was one guy at my gym who was always eyeball me, and I have to admit I was guilty of the same. One day I was in the sauna and he came in and again he began to eyeball me. I started making small talk, which seemed to have startled him. On my way out the gym, ran into him again, introduced myself and said hello.

Haven't seen him in the gym since.

homastj said

intensity69 said
Sheesh, these youngins want it all served-up on a silver platter these days....

on a slightly related note, this is actually a little alarming to me. i can't open up grindr without coming across some sassy brats (my generation) with some caption like "prove you're interesting" or "impress me." I mean wtf? makes me think there's something to the criticisms of my generation thinking we're special

I actually have seen that a lot in profiles, makes me just pass on by as I find it a little self involved. I don't see as I have anything to prove to a total stranger with their head up their ass.

Good observation Sulla. We spend way too much time stroking children's egos to make them "feel good" about themselves. This does work at young ages, but it still is being done during the teen years. I believe AYSO Soccer gives trophies to everyone, win or lose. Jeez, my experiences in the working world and life in general is nothing like that. We do not prepare kids for the real world. We have to teach kids responsibility and consequences, and for them to create their own success.

homastj said i can't open up grindr without coming across some sassy brats (my generation) with some caption like "prove you're interesting" or "impress me." I mean wtf? makes me think there's something to the criticisms of my generation thinking we're special

Entitlement culture. Insidiously pervasive in today's younger generations. You see a lot of it on RJ with threads where young guys basically mask requests for free services because they think their perceived cuteness merits them free things other people would have to pay for.

They are too shy silly

I'll be honest, I'm nervous out of mind to ever say anything! But, I'm not that dude staring in the corner licking his lips, but at the same time I will take quick looks at you no doubt. I try not to stare long or make it obvious, because of that reason it's too obvious. I may think I'm slick, but who knows...? Like most the guys stated, is that college guys or younger men on general are nervous to say anything or make a move because we're afraid to be rejected or for more personal reason, I'm afraid to be put out by a possible straight guy or somebody who isn't into me. Then again, I'm not out yet so that's also my reasoning too. I will look at guys and try to peak at whatever they leave hanging. ;-) lol

What's with guys working out 3 hours a day, 6 days a week and prancing about in skin tight tank tops and skinny jeans wondering why people look at them????

Most of the guys on RJ put a great deal of effort into their fitness and, ultimately, appearance. Is it really so surprising that people are going to look???

They may not have a "question" to ask you. They may not really care about talking to you or getting to know you at all. They are just taking in the view and admiring the work.

I'd rather they didn't say anything and use the mirrors more.

Who cares if they stare? Just don't let them think you're smart or they'll hang on to your every word!

Here again people, why not just drop the judgments of other people?. People do what they do largely because of two factors, learned behavior and the neurobiology of their wiring. In some cases, people are naturally introverted. They have a difficult time making the first move, not necessarily because they're weak or scared, they just aren't wired the same way. The stare is a way of saying hey, I'm open to a convo, but it's not my nature to start one. Some people are scared, not because they're weak, but because they've had bad previous experiences, maybe they've had their ass kicked, or maybe they've been humiliated before.

Either smile and go on about your business if you aren't interested, or go up and say hi if you might be. Just cut the judgment unless you happen to have walked a mile in their shoes. I'd be far more skeptical about someone with the pompous arrogance to constantly judge others than I would be about the guy with some underdeveloped communication skills.

People are people, and we all do what we do, for good or for bad because of the nature of our experience and the nature of our biology. No judgment is needed or helpful unless they ARE a serial killer.

soulman1969 saidThere was one guy at my gym who was always eyeball me, and I have to admit I was guilty of the same. One day I was in the sauna and he came in and again he began to eyeball me. I started making small talk, which seemed to have startled him. On my way out the gym, ran into him again, introduced myself and said hello.

Haven't seen him in the gym since.

#YCYL

lupsided saidThis is by far, the most annoying fucking thing about gay guys. I cannot stand it, when I see someone that interests me, I go up and start a conversation. Not stare into their soul like fucking john wayne gacy.

Hah! Love that last line.

IDK, but it's freaking me out!!!!

everyone does this. its like they are immobilised by your hotness, but you don't realise whats happening. you think maybe they're judging you, or you have something on your face, or you're freakishly ugly.

if you can gather yourself the next time it happens, just look them in the eye, and smile or nod. it doesn't have to go any further than that, if you don't want it to. but its like a mutual acknowledgement, and they'll get the idea whether or not you want it to go further than that. even if i'm not interested in them sexually, its an ice breaker. i've made new friends that way.

Cash saidWhat's with guys working out 3 hours a day, 6 days a week and prancing about in skin tight tank tops and skinny jeans wondering why people look at them????

Two words: Stupidity.

MarcBodybuilding saidfrom work to gym. if they wanna ask something why not ask me . than just eye ball me.. feels like im being stalked by a raptor.....

Really????

I suppose the old adage that beauty is in the eye of the beholder rings true...

Maybe you do have a constant booger you are not aware of that another RJ member suggested...