Gay Courage

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 27, 2012 1:09 AM GMT
    I just wanted to post this thread to give a shout out to all that are out and proud but to also ask how do you do it.

    I am not in the closet at all, but I act as if I am not gay. I don't say how I truly feel nor do I try to find a boyfriend.

    Honestly it is fear. Where I am from (Ghetto city in Alabama) it is scary. I just don't want to die for being who I am, I know what sounds lame..but I know a few who have been killed.

    Today on MSN you will see about a lesbian couple being murdered. It just breaks me down. I wish I would have the courage to not be afraid who knows, but I guess I am.

    I think technically I am out to many, but not most. I am from an area with alot of gangs and crime. I just am afraid to go to a gay club or what not.

    I have had many a share in fights and I am tired of it. I am a good fighter because of all the jumpings, but that is sad it happened so much that I got good at defending myself.

    I wish I could move away, but that is not an option right now, but I am working towards it. I have two jobs and saving every penny.Still.. there is no guarantee that it won't end tragically.

    Anyway, I just wanted to say that for those who are out to the world and don't care who knows it. I am so proud of you guys and you are amazing, but also I want to know.

    How did you gather up the courage to not give a F*** and when did you realize you had it.
  • Just_Tim

    Posts: 1723

    Jun 27, 2012 1:13 AM GMT
    Let me be first the advise you to move away from that area... That seems to be the best solution for you. Not just because of being gay either, it sounds fairly dangerous for anyone... I hope everything works out for you, man. I think it will. icon_wink.gif
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    Jun 27, 2012 1:43 AM GMT
    One of my best friends from work is working in Pensacola (aka: East Mobile) this summer. He absolutely hates it, and he's straight, or so he claims...says there's nothing to do in those parts except check out the Naval Air Museum, but that gets old after the 2nd or 3rd time.

    Seems like you're on the right track. Save up and GTFO ASAP. He's only there for work, not because he likes it. icon_lol.gif
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    Jun 27, 2012 2:27 AM GMT
    I would agree it is a fend for yourself... I've been attacked over the subject once or twice and one of those times was pretty bad (required plastic surgery). I figure just be yourself and exploit the secret wisely. Not everyone needs to know. Most the time it is not an issue unless I am making it an issue.
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    Jun 27, 2012 2:49 AM GMT
    I guess so, it's like an oxymoron in a sense. I want everyone to know but then again I don't. It's weird.
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    Jun 27, 2012 3:01 AM GMT
    Sounds like you want more freedom and options, not necessarily that you need courage to be out in your current environment. The extra persecution and limitations aren't going to help you get what you want out of life.

    For me, I had already left my hometown which gave me all the freedom I wanted even though I was still in the closet. That was a better time in many ways than after I came out to my family because I was still progressing on a typical career path but doing whatever I wanted. Coming out pushed me to move overseas which I always wanted to do, but introduced lots of new uncertainty and options that I still haven't figured out.
  • Tiller66

    Posts: 380

    Jun 27, 2012 9:16 AM GMT
    I can say only that I was lucky to have friends and family that accepted who I am.
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    Jun 27, 2012 2:21 PM GMT
    You asked, "how do you do it?" For those who answer you, I think that answer is going to be different per person. You need answers from those who have experienced similar situations. Why? Because everyone comes from different environment situations, some good and some bad.

    The best way in which you can break free is to save your money, then move out to a less threatening environment as some have mentoned. Until then try to find a way to express yourself without putting your life in danger. I'd only be proud of the ones who actually had to struggle hard and use courage to come out of the closet, over those who've had no serious challenges, shunning or rejection. However, most gay men in our suppressed country environment don't have it easy. Some even, their entire reality is anti-gay like a dark cloud. And those who are not in their shoes are not trully able to even fathom what they are experiencing, or the effects it has on ones purpose of being. Those enduring these hardships currently closeted need to know that they are not alone. There are people out there who care. You're living what I call an out but private life, but you're being true to yourself. You need a shout out for your own courage because of what you have to deal with. Please don't let the current people in your life & community taint you or suppress you. Hang in there and be strong. Think positive and try to make trustworthy friends while you work towards positive goals of getting the hell out of there. icon_wink.gif
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    Jun 27, 2012 2:26 PM GMT
    JamieJfromtheA saidI just don't want to die for being who I am, I know what sounds lame..but I know a few who have ...I have had many a share in fights and I am tired of it. I am a good fighter because of all the jumpings...How did you gather up the courage to not give a F*** and when did you realize you had it.


    Uh, ducking bullets isn't cowardice! Keep it on the down low till you're in a physically safe place.
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    Jun 27, 2012 4:35 PM GMT
    When I was 17, I was at gay club. Some ignorant ass straights pulled off the highway and began shooting down on us as we were on a patio, my glass shattered in my hand we ran inside called the cops and when they arrived Bette Davis & Marilyn Monroe angrily told them what happened. My point we were more angry than afraid and those assholes were not going to instill fear in us but the desire to stand up for ourselves. Stay true to who & what you are, A proud gay man!!
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    Jul 02, 2012 4:20 AM GMT
    mikkel49 saidWhen I was 17, I was at gay club. Some ignorant ass straights pulled off the highway and began shooting down on us as we were on a patio, my glass shattered in my hand we ran inside called the cops and when they arrived Bette Davis & Marilyn Monroe angrily told them what happened. My point we were more angry than afraid and those assholes were not going to instill fear in us but the desire to stand up for ourselves. Stay true to who & what you are, A proud gay man!!


    That would have scarred me for life. I just couldn't even...
    Maybe with more time I will be braver.
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    Jul 02, 2012 4:24 AM GMT
    JamieJfromtheA said
    mikkel49 saidWhen I was 17, I was at gay club. Some ignorant ass straights pulled off the highway and began shooting down on us as we were on a patio, my glass shattered in my hand we ran inside called the cops and when they arrived Bette Davis & Marilyn Monroe angrily told them what happened. My point we were more angry than afraid and those assholes were not going to instill fear in us but the desire to stand up for ourselves. Stay true to who & what you are, A proud gay man!!


    That would have scarred me for life. I just couldn't even...
    Maybe with more time I will be braver.
    There's a huge difference between being brave for your sexuality and running for life because of some dumbasses who want to shoot at people for no apparent reason.
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    Jul 02, 2012 4:55 AM GMT
    You have a choice to make. You can stay in Alabama, or you can move.

    It takes Gay Courage to make either choice.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 02, 2012 4:56 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    JamieJfromtheA said
    mikkel49 saidWhen I was 17, I was at gay club. Some ignorant ass straights pulled off the highway and began shooting down on us as we were on a patio, my glass shattered in my hand we ran inside called the cops and when they arrived Bette Davis & Marilyn Monroe angrily told them what happened. My point we were more angry than afraid and those assholes were not going to instill fear in us but the desire to stand up for ourselves. Stay true to who & what you are, A proud gay man!!


    That would have scarred me for life. I just couldn't even...
    Maybe with more time I will be braver.
    There's a huge difference between being brave for your sexuality and running for life because of some dumbasses who want to shoot at people for no apparent reason.


    Paul, I thought you grew up in a place where homosexuals were loved and accepted? icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif