wanting to have a child

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 28, 2012 1:31 AM GMT
    I really want to have a child, seeing my brother and his 2 kids, really makes me wish I was married to a women to have my own biological child. No I am not open to the idea of adopting, being single and working and not enough money and time is not good qualification for adopting one also not being out to my family is the other issue.

    Thinking about it, it seems I have no solution but to accept my situation. icon_cry.gif
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    Jun 28, 2012 1:36 AM GMT
    Become a Priest. You can have all the children you want. icon_twisted.gif
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    Jun 28, 2012 1:36 AM GMT
    There are so many children without parents, you should never discard the option of adopting. That being said if you're not in a place where you can provide a child your undivided care and attention then adopting isn't for you right now (but it is within everyone's possibility to get to that place in their life).
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Jun 28, 2012 1:37 AM GMT
    I love kids, but start to feel out of my element when they get to be around 4.
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    Jun 28, 2012 4:40 AM GMT
    A kid cost $220,000. I ve been there to confirm
    that number. And that is not counting your time . So think again.
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    Jun 28, 2012 4:40 AM GMT
    Alpha13 saidA kid cost $220,000.


    can I have a Bentley instead
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    Jun 28, 2012 4:42 AM GMT
    Ariodante said
    Alpha13 saidA kid cost $220,000.


    can I have a Bentley instead
    No, only bacon. The Bentley is mine.
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    Jun 28, 2012 4:45 AM GMT
    CrankySpice said
    Alpha13 saidA kid cost $220,000. I ve been there to confirm
    that number. And that is not counting your time . So think again.

    Are you kidding? My kids' college educations each cost more than that.
    would you adopt me please?icon_lol.gif
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    Jun 28, 2012 4:46 AM GMT
    CrankySpice said
    Alpha13 saidA kid cost $220,000. I ve been there to confirm
    that number. And that is not counting your time . So think again.

    Are you kidding? My kids' college educations each cost more than that.
    I was gonna ask you to be my sugar daddy, but you're probably a creepy old broke man now. icon_razz.gif
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    Jun 28, 2012 5:11 AM GMT
    I love kids, and I want to have them. Seeing as how I am a gay male... it kind of rules out the biological way of achieving them. icon_rolleyes.gif

    Adopting is awesome. Giving a child a better shot at a life, that may not have been as bright, and give me the chance to raise, teach, and watch a little person grow and make decisions(good & bad). Guiding them through any hurdles they may encounter with what you have learned to help make them stronger and wiser. It's a win/win in my book.

    Plus, babies are so damn cute!!!


    In the end, money is only a necessary evil (mind you it makes things a lot easier... no lie).

    If you want kids, willing to have them... then there is a way icon_wink.gif

    end rant
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    Jun 28, 2012 7:17 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidBecome a Priest. You can have all the children you want. icon_twisted.gif
    Phht- that's so 2008. Become a coach at Penn State.

    For me, I somewhat want kids, but I had an epiphany when I was visiting my friend's house last weekend and her 4 month old cousin was sitting in his chair. She told me to hold him, and I was like "wtf? How?".

    I don't know shit about kids, and idk if I should have one.
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    Jun 28, 2012 7:38 AM GMT
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    Jun 28, 2012 7:44 AM GMT
    There are a lot of kids out there who could really use a parent or parents. And I wish that I could be the right one for a kid. I know somewhere out there is some lonely kid getting picked on by others who really needs support and love and I want to give it so badly.

    Alas, financial burdens are a huge obstacle. And being single, I simply can't do it alone.
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    Jun 28, 2012 8:04 AM GMT
    surrogacy..artificial insemination...IVF...???!!!!
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    Jun 28, 2012 8:16 AM GMT
    Bullwinklemoos said
    For me, I somewhat want kids, but I had an epiphany when I was visiting my friend's house last weekend and her 4 month old cousin was sitting in his chair. She told me to hold him, and I was like "wtf? How?".

    I don't know shit about kids, and idk if I should have one.


    Hook your hands under the kid’s armpits and lift. Gently squeeze the kid's torso. If you keep your elbows at your sides, you’ll be face to face with the baby. (Man, this sounds like teaching proper form for lifting weights.) At about four months, the kid will just kinda hang there and stare at you. icon_smile.gif For very young babies, you have to cradle the kid and support its head, because its neck muscles aren’t strong enough.

    Relax, these are all learned behaviors. We aren’t born with the genetic knowledge of how to hold a baby. You have to be told, or learn from observation. Fortunately you don’t have to learn everything all at once. Eventually, amazingly, you are able to distinguish (in pre-verbal kids) the “I’m hungry” cry from the “I’m tired” cry or the “I’m hurt” cry.

    I myself didn’t know shit about kids, and felt awkward and self-conscious around small humans until I began raising a brood myself.
  • Drift

    Posts: 217

    Jun 28, 2012 9:02 AM GMT
    Genre saidI love kids, and I want to have them. Seeing as how I am a gay male... it kind of rules out the biological way of achieving them. icon_rolleyes.gif

    Adopting is awesome. Giving a child a better shot at a life, that may not have been as bright, and give me the chance to raise, teach, and watch a little person grow and make decisions(good & bad). Guiding them through any hurdles they may encounter with what you have learned to help make them stronger and wiser. It's a win/win in my book.

    Plus, babies are so damn cute!!!


    In the end, money is only a necessary evil (mind you it makes things a lot easier... no lie).

    If you want kids, willing to have them... then there is a way icon_wink.gif

    end rant


    This. icon_smile.gif Hopefully 'the way' finds itself to me soon.
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    Jun 28, 2012 9:50 AM GMT
    I'm not ready to have a child now but I made a thread about this and I do plan to have my children someday.

    Just remember that it will not be about you anymore. It will be about him/her cuz their life is basically in your hands. If you can handle that, the good/bad then don't let any fear or criticism prevent you from having your children.
  • Karl

    Posts: 5787

    Jun 28, 2012 11:54 AM GMT
    When I find my guy , we'll adopt childs someday .....
    A true family is my dream and I have no problem about adopting.
    Just love and raise them well...

    Life is not easy like that but passing those difficult times is the value of life.
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    Jun 28, 2012 11:58 AM GMT
    I used to want to be a father once myself, but with food shortages, the endless degradation of quality media geared towards families, and the cost of actually getting it done are all too much for me to bear. I'd rather adopt a child, if anything, but now prefer to raise some dogs with a partner with the consideration of adoption in mind; if we'd ever decide to adopt.
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    Jun 28, 2012 1:07 PM GMT
    I think the best option for a gay guy to father a child would be with an awesome lesbian...just like in "Queer as Folk". lol
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    Jun 28, 2012 1:26 PM GMT
    After a couple years of having a steady job, I want a child too, probably by artificial insemination. I don't care about the costs or the time, children are the most loyal people in your life, and I want someone to carry my name and legacy after I'm gone. I'm not opposed to adoption, but I prefer my genes be carried on.
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    Jun 28, 2012 11:25 PM GMT
    _zed_ said
    Bullwinklemoos said
    For me, I somewhat want kids, but I had an epiphany when I was visiting my friend's house last weekend and her 4 month old cousin was sitting in his chair. She told me to hold him, and I was like "wtf? How?".

    I don't know shit about kids, and idk if I should have one.


    Hook your hands under the kid’s armpits and lift. Gently squeeze the kid's torso. If you keep your elbows at your sides, you’ll be face to face with the baby. (Man, this sounds like teaching proper form for lifting weights.) At about four months, the kid will just kinda hang there and stare at you. icon_smile.gif For very young babies, you have to cradle the kid and support its head, because its neck muscles aren’t strong enough.

    Relax, these are all learned behaviors. We aren’t born with the genetic knowledge of how to hold a baby. You have to be told, or learn from observation. Fortunately you don’t have to learn everything all at once. Eventually, amazingly, you are able to distinguish (in pre-verbal kids) the “I’m hungry” cry from the “I’m tired” cry or the “I’m hurt” cry.

    I myself didn’t know shit about kids, and felt awkward and self-conscious around small humans until I began raising a brood myself.
    Praise Jesus. All of my relatives are old and/or distant and all of the people that got preggers in or soon after high school went mia in my life, so I feel so weird being one of the few people I know who has no idea how to take care of an infant.

    Now if only I can get the bastards to stop crying when they see my face...
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    Jun 28, 2012 11:41 PM GMT
    You're 40. Your maternal instinct kicked in a little late. Give up the fantasy. It would be bad for the child(ren). Not to mention, that y'know it's ok to have a gay dad, but not one who's 40 years older than the kid. Same goes for straight people. If you haven't had a kid by 40, it's over, give it up, be kind to children.
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Jun 29, 2012 1:29 AM GMT
    graphicabc saidI really want to have a child, seeing my brother and his 2 kids, really makes me wish I was married to a women to have my own biological child. No I am not open to the idea of adopting, being single and working and not enough money and time is not good qualification for adopting one also not being out to my family is the other issue.

    Thinking about it, it seems I have no solution but to accept my situation. icon_cry.gif

    We all make choices in life. At 40 it is getting late, but not too late. It sounds like you have to choose whether you want a child or the economic security and comfort of not having one. Single women are making these decisions all the time. Screw the family - it's your life, not theirs'. Better done with a partner to help out. Can't find a partner (or one who is willing to remain in the closet for you)? Then just find a woman who wants or is willing to have your baby, and do it.
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    Jun 29, 2012 1:40 AM GMT
    I already have a plan in plaCe. If I am still single at 35 I am going to begin the surrogacy process. A friend of mine is going through it right now, so he's been giving a Real educatIon on the subject. I realize tree is the adoption route, but I could never come to grips with not having a biological connection to my child. Adoption is a possibly, but I would only want to consider that after I exhausted all the biological options.