what do you think about LONG distance relationship?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 02, 2008 7:38 AM GMT
    well I met someone in CA , and I live in Oregon now,

    He was really nice and I like him a lot. And actually he asked me to go out but we live different areas. and that makes me so sad. I wish I have a BF, but it's really hard to keep relationship on the only internet. I guess I can be his good friend, but I don't really think this works well.. but I wanna know if anyone have this kinda situation, what should I do?? icon_smile.gif

    and this is random question, is there any good gay communities in Portland, OR?
    I'm not 21 yet so drinking bars or clubs are not good choices for me.. lol

    Thanks icon_biggrin.gif
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    Aug 02, 2008 7:48 AM GMT
    Well it's ok if it's something on the side. It's just too much work keeping in touch with them everyday. Don't you want someone to hold sometimes?
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    Aug 02, 2008 6:56 PM GMT
    I just had dinner last night with an old friend. He met his partner in Ann Arbor, then the guy graduated and went far away for years before landing a job in NY - where his partner (after a few more years) joined him. They've now been together for 17 years (total).

    A former roommate of mine (also in Ann Arbor), after going through serial 2-3 week relationships, met a guy from Chicago on IRC. They did the long distance relationship for about 2 years and then moved in together. I must say that I was very skeptical. It's one thing to have a "honeymoon relationship" when you only see someone 2-3 dozen times a year for a weekend. It's another to actually relate to a person on a daily basis, let alone live together. I think they've been together now for 15 years.

    Of course, many long distance relationships (just like others) don't work out. It really depends on the people and circumstances involved.
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    Aug 02, 2008 7:04 PM GMT
    This is no different than straight long distance romances. Totally depends on the couple. Some work, some don't. Depends on the committments on both sides. If it was meant to be, then it's up to me. If he won't, then I don't.
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    Aug 02, 2008 7:09 PM GMT
    It's one of those situations where you have to individualize it. For me, I just can't see it working unless you both agree early on that you will be working towards bringing it all closer together. I'm not sure it's a healthy relationship when you get a condensed weekend version with each other every other weekend. Ideally I'd want to foster something with someone closer.
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    Aug 02, 2008 7:49 PM GMT
    I'm 49, so I'm probably very different emotionally and hormonally than someone under 21.

    I'm am living in Mexico City indefinitely (with my best estimates of about 3-4 more years). On a recent trip to the S.F Bay Area (where I lived before I moved down here and probably the place I'd return to), I met and spent some wonderful quality time with a guy who I had briefly met years earlier.

    We spoke briefly about what was possible (sensible?) given the logistics, and after I got back, I emailed him my theory that the next time I get up there, he'll be between lovers, and we can get to know each other even better. He agreed with that theory.

    There are no guarantees, of course (nor strings, of course), and we don't email as frequently as we did, but I'm glad we met and I still look forward to his company at some point.

    That's the kind of long distance "relationship" I think I can handle: openness to change and not holding up living in the meantime.

    Charlie
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    Aug 03, 2008 4:50 AM GMT
    Thank you everyone icon_smile.gif

    ya I think it's really hard and it depends on the couple. but I should think really carefully... :S