Will "We need to have a talk" ever end well?

  • Cole0505

    Posts: 70

    Jul 01, 2012 1:30 PM GMT
    Simply enough, without going into a huge story.

    Having "a talk" doesn't seem to bring any good things to mind from my point of view. icon_sad.gif

    Are there any stories, personal experiences or even hypothetical situations where having "a talk" could end happily.

    "The talk" would be worse I guess because in that instance your expected to know what talking will be about, and if you didn't your screwed.
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    Jul 01, 2012 1:58 PM GMT
    Cole0505 saidSimply enough, without going into a huge story.

    Having "a talk" doesn't seem to bring any good things to mind from my point of view. icon_sad.gif

    Are there any stories, personal experiences or even hypothetical situations where having "a talk" could end happily.

    "The talk" would be worse I guess because in that instance your expected to know what talking will be about, and if you didn't your screwed.


    Ranks right up there with "I love you, but I'm not IN love with you..."

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    Jul 01, 2012 2:00 PM GMT
    It can. It depends. If you're just dating, it's unlikely. If you're in a committed relationship with someone it could start out difficult but lead to something better. It has for me, both with talks I have initiated and that the bf has.
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    Jul 01, 2012 2:23 PM GMT
    No, it depends. One of our talks actually was quite important and bonding, taking us to the next level. Think of it as "getting on the same page". If you're not on the same page, well..., then you know...
  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    Jul 01, 2012 2:25 PM GMT
    Cole0505 saidSimply enough, without going into a huge story.

    Having "a talk" doesn't seem to bring any good things to mind from my point of view. icon_sad.gif

    Are there any stories, personal experiences or even hypothetical situations where having "a talk" could end happily.

    "The talk" would be worse I guess because in that instance your expected to know what talking will be about, and if you didn't your screwed.


    only if it's planned very well, so that it's set up to be comical, or if it's part of a proposal :p
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    Jul 01, 2012 2:32 PM GMT
    "We have to talk. I just saved a lot of money on our auto insurance by switching to Geico."

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  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    Jul 01, 2012 2:37 PM GMT
    MadExistence said"We have to talk. I just saved a lot of money on our auto insurance by switching to Geico."

    icon_surprised.gif


    "geiko" this, and "geiko" that, when's the last time we went out? you never take me out anymore! *sobs* It's because I'm too young for you isn't it? you just don't want to be seen around a new hot younger "friend" huh?!?

    (just kidding)
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    Jul 01, 2012 2:42 PM GMT
    I've heard the "We need to have a talk" preface a couple of times, in a tone of voice that made the purpose unmistakable. And with each one I felt like I'd been punched in my gut, because I feared what was coming. Was it a sudden break-up, or a complaint session?

    Fortunately they were no more than complaint sessions, and we worked things out, stayed together, even happier than before, and stronger as a couple. I even initiated one myself, with my late partner, when his drinking got out of hand. That one didn't have time to produce results, since he died shortly afterwards.

    It wasn't until he was dying of AIDS that the doctors told me his drinking was possibly due to a psychological & behavioral shift due to the brain disease that was killing him. Which made me feel doubly worse, for having thought it was his fault by deliberate choice, and for not suspecting an underlying medical cause.

    Sometimes we not only need to talk, but to be open to all scenarios & possibilities as being the cause of the conflict that's troubling us. There's a danger of entering into the "talk" having already made up our own minds what the nature of the problem is, and what the solution should be. And that's no 2-way talk at all - that's a lecture.