I know how many of you guys hate threads like this but...

  • WhoDey

    Posts: 561

    Jul 02, 2012 2:39 PM GMT
    ...I have a friend who lives in France, it's like a FWB scenario. I'm flying out there, and I'm going to stay at his place for a few days, then we're going around Europe staying at a few of his friend's places.

    He keeps telling me about how he's been sexually frustrated due to not having sex in a while (it's only been like 3 months, but I guess that's too long for him).

    He recently told me that he's been doing some 'homewrecking' lately. He starting hooking up with a married guy who also has a kid, and it's gotten me a little sad.

    To be clear, I'm NOT jealous that he's hooking up with a guy or anything like that, but I'm sad because I thought he was a nicer guy than that, I thought he would be more respectful to people, and stuff like that. To be honest, I kind of think less of him because of that. 'Homewrecking' is a pet peeve of mine because I think that's a reason my parents divorced (although I'm not completely sure).

    I also feel the same way with friends without benefits about homewrecking, I really don't care to be around people like that.

    Should I call him out on it and risk having something blow up and losing his friendship? (And putting my trip with him in jeopardy) Or is this something that I shouldn't worry about?

    (I hope I can get some real honest answers without this thread being derailed.)

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 02, 2012 2:56 PM GMT
    he sounds like a real whore. deffo call him out.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jul 02, 2012 3:04 PM GMT
    You can be friends with someone and share different values, especially if your definition of fwb is about more than just the b. It's not like he's asking you to change. Good friends are hard to find and no man is too rich for friends.
  • Splendidus_1

    Posts: 611

    Jul 02, 2012 3:05 PM GMT
    WhoDey said...I have a friend who lives in France, it's like a FWB scenario. I'm flying out there, and I'm going to stay at his place for a few days, then we're going around Europe staying at a few of his friend's places.

    He keeps telling me about how he's been sexually frustrated due to not having sex in a while (it's only been like 3 months, but I guess that's too long for him).

    He recently told me that he's been doing some 'homewrecking' lately. He starting hooking up with a married guy who also has a kid, and it's gotten me a little sad.

    To be clear, I'm NOT jealous that he's hooking up with a guy or anything like that, but I'm sad because I thought he was a nicer guy than that, I thought he would be more respectful to people, and stuff like that. To be honest, I kind of think less of him because of that. 'Homewrecking' is a pet peeve of mine because I think that's a reason my parents divorced (although I'm not completely sure).

    I also feel the same way with friends without benefits about homewrecking, I really don't care to be around people like that.

    Should I call him out on it and risk having something blow up and losing his friendship? (And putting my trip with him in jeopardy) Or is this something that I shouldn't worry about?

    (I hope I can get some real honest answers without this thread being derailed.)



    Depends on how close you are with him, I guess. I've learned that sometimes people don't want our help, and they can get pretty defensive once you try to make them see their doing something wrong. I'm sure you have the best of intentions, but he may not see it, and just think you're being condesceding upon him.

    If that's a big pet peeve of yours, and you say you don't care about people like that, then I guess you don't have much of a choice, do you? Haha.

    I wouldn't feel confortable pretending this wasn't bugging me just for the sake of the trip, but that's up to you, ultimately.

    Best of luck man!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 02, 2012 3:06 PM GMT
    now sis, how can you have a friend with benefits when they live half-way across the world?

    anyway, he seems like a total douchenozzle. tell him, "gorl bye! i don't want yo nasty, crusty ass or your STD's."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 02, 2012 3:12 PM GMT
    WhoDey saidShould I call him out on it and risk having something blow up and losing his friendship? (And putting my trip with him in jeopardy) Or is this something that I shouldn't worry about?

    You might start by asking him whether he's being literal, or just engaging in a little bit of exaggeration (aka BS). We gays are notorious for speaking with hyperbole, for dramatic effect or shock value.

    When you know the true & exact situation you can use your own judgment. Personally I think deliberate home-wrecking is detestable, whether of straight or gay homes, but that's for you to decide.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 02, 2012 3:20 PM GMT
    If you're going to call him out on this and not associate with him... you better do it before you get out there and cancel your trip (or make other arrangements so you're not dependent on him)
  • mybud

    Posts: 11838

    Jul 02, 2012 7:30 PM GMT
    Dude...Your bud's past sins are his alone..You need to figure out if you can block his behavior and focus on the more positive qualities his friendship adds to your life...If you can't get past his past...You got a problem