RESPONSE: This is an International Forum - Respecting Cultures (JakeBenson) and Properly Dealing with Conflicts (Zim####) are Vital to the Well-being of Our Community.

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    Aug 03, 2008 4:49 AM GMT
    EDIT: This VERY much longer than I expected it to be... I did not intend for it to be this long... but it's a sincere response hopefully it's very readable, understandable and not tedious.
    This is a bit long it responds to both Jake for his inconsiderate reply and to Zim for this childish response. I expect people to view it... but my wish is that people will read, reply, and have a healthy discussion about the issue. Things seem to be getting rough around the Forums and the only ones that can change that is us.
    Love you all,
    Blind2limits
    -------------------------------------
    JakeBenson responds to a question at http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/247214/ of "Is it necessary to post you racial attraction/preference on a profile?" posed by Sedative with the following statement:It's a necessary precaution just in case a surge of Filipinos discover this site and flood every white man's inbox with outdated English computer lingo messages filled with syntax errors. Hey it happened to friendster."

    According to Zim#### (#### representing the ending Zim chooses to change to), there are more accounts of these situations. This was a joke in poor taste. From Zim####'s point of view, one joke too many.

    On JakeBenson's side: Be careful of what you say and how you say it. This is an International Website.
    On the internet, there is no non-communication cues. Vocal tones, facial expressions, body gestures, are all lost over the written word. Once you write something, it is up to the person reading it to interpret it as a joke or an insult. You're not there to tell them how to read it. America views certain words and expressions in one way (in USA: thong = underwear, rubber = condom). Other countries words and epxressions mean different thing (in UK/Australia: thong = flipflops/sandals, rubber = eraser).

    You have to realize that this is an International website with an international audience. You can't assume everyone in the world thinks the way you do. That's very egocentric/xenocentric of you. In the future, reconsider your statement's before you put them to press. I do believe you should explain what your original intentions of that joke were and apologize to those you hurt that may have misunderstood the context of your joke. No one wants you to censor or water yourself down for anyone else. You have to understand how other cultures work and respect them
    -----------------------------------------------------
    zimatar said in http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/249391I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THE FLAMEWAR NON-SENSE... I am not gonna watch this sitting down anymore. Clearly, the disharmony is caused by JakeBenson who I am patiently waiting to get kicked out of this site and find somewhere else to dump his hostility and negativity. I am working on not to try to care too much but something as foul as JakeBenson needs to be called off. Trust that I will only stay PERMANENTLY if you help me get rid of JakeBenson once and for all.
    Many thanks to all those who believe in me,
    ZIMATAR

    On Zim####'s side: This is no way to encourage people to remove a member. It was very bold, childish and uncalled for.
    If you have a serious issue with a particular member, you need to email the moderators of RealJock privately with a detailed account of what the said party is doing. It is up to them to decided who is removed and who stays. If he's not an perceived as an imminent threat social e-fabric of this website, then you will have to live with it or leave.

    Have you tried messaging JakeBenson calmly and privately? If you did start a conversation with him about how you feel he's been acting, and he still hasn't changed, then there is some grounds for taking this a step further to the RJ authorities. Based on your statement, it just sounds like you were pissed off and decided to vent through a thread.

    The way you're approaching this situation is very childish and no better than Jake's tasteless humor. It doesn't make you look any better. Think of it like this: It's always better to explain to a doctor in detail as calmly as possible where you are in pain and why you possibly have pain. Screaming "I'M HURTING JUST MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP!!!" doesn't help you or the doctor get you better faster. All it does is create a helpless scene. I would appreciate if you gave us specifics on why you're upset and what was said to upset you (like Caslon5000 tried to before).

    Remember: Compliment in public. Criticize in private.
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    Aug 03, 2008 4:58 AM GMT
    funny pictures
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    Aug 03, 2008 5:05 AM GMT
    Well Caslon, There's a difference between complaining/whining and suggesting things for the better... it's this kind of feeling that keeps people from speaking up you know - the "Are people going to respond negatively to my response?" feeling. Call it what you will. I felt it was necessary. Maybe someone will get my point and not make me feel like I'm blowing things out proportion.
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    Aug 03, 2008 5:22 AM GMT
    OK, NOW URE STARTIN TO BORE ME ... just messing with ya
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    Aug 03, 2008 5:33 AM GMT
    Erm... first of all that thread was not started by me.

    And jakebenson's original 'joke' may have been as innocuous as he said, he was after all only playing the er... advocatus diaboli, or so he claims. But my attempt at explaining why that joke wasn't in good taste given the circumstances was met with hostility and further personal insults. Devolving the discussion into a 'my dick is bigger than yours' kinda thing, I guess.

    Yes it will blow over. Yes, I know I've made an enemy. And yes, I'm not particularly proud of that thread, after all my posts there were written in anger.

    I will do my best, to stop it from getting worse and I will avoid engaging further.
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    Aug 03, 2008 5:47 AM GMT
    Sedative saidErm... first of all that thread was not started by me.

    Oh I know it wasn't started by you, but your question did prompt the joke.

    Sedative saidjakebenson's original 'joke' may have been as innocuous as he said, he was after all only playing the er... advocatus diaboli, or so he claims. But my attempt at explaining why that joke wasn't in good taste given the circumstances was met with hostility and further personal insults. Devolving the discussion into a 'my dick is bigger than yours' kinda thing, I guess.
    Yes it will blow over. Yes, I know I've made an enemy. And yes, I'm not particularly proud of that thread, after all my posts there were written in anger.

    I think I've made many an enemy by posting this thread, but then again that could just be my anxiety talking lol. And yes, writing in anger doesn't really help much . . . but as long as you got your point out, fck what others think haha.

    Everything blows over eventually . . thing is how long is eventually?
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    Aug 03, 2008 7:43 AM GMT
    blind2limits said
    I think I've made many an enemy by posting this thread, but then again that could just be my anxiety talking lol.


    Er... if you mean me, no. LOL. I was referring to his last threat... er post:

    jakebensonFyi I may be new but I'm an online warrior. You'll see more of me and I'll enjoy antagonizing you. ;)


    *sigh*
  • kew1

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    Aug 03, 2008 8:18 AM GMT
    Just to let you know, thongs aren't footwear in the UK, they are underwear - see
    stringfellow_232x350.jpg

    Well known (UK) nightclub owner on holiday a few years ago, made people feel ill when they opened their newspapers & saw this when eating breakfasticon_smile.gif
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    Aug 03, 2008 8:38 AM GMT
    kew1 saidJust to let you know, thongs aren't footwear in the UK, they are underwear


    bahh... somewhere in the world the term "thong" is used for footwear - I do think it's Australia, unless that's wrong too lol.
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    Aug 03, 2008 8:40 AM GMT
    kew1 saidJust to let you know, thongs aren't footwear in the UK, they are underwear - see
    stringfellow_232x350.jpg


    I must say: he has great calves and an awesome ass icon_cool.gif
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    Aug 03, 2008 8:51 AM GMT
    What a very thoughtful and proactive thread, blind2limits. Hope it helps.
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    Aug 03, 2008 2:54 PM GMT
    ... so that's why zim left?? i always thought he had much tougher skin than that. jake can be abrasive for sure but if you've been spammin on the net long enough, you learn to deal with guys like him... i'm more concerned for the noobs who are comin' out and kinda scared and really have no one to turn to and so they go online and well reading harsh words can sometimes be too much / may not be what they're ready to hear.
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    Aug 03, 2008 3:50 PM GMT


    Thongs are sandals or flipflops AND underwear. Terminology is in fact becoming universal with global communicating at the speed of the net, in this case meaning that many meanings for a word are becoming required knowledge for most people..

    Good thread!

    Good rule: Ignore those that would shut you up.

    Good rule: Responding, if not doing the above, concisely and clearly to an insult, percieved or real. Carefully breathe and relax while framing your reply. Reread and remove as much emotional hostility as possible from post before clicking submit!

    Good rule: Devil's advocate. Why is this done? If necessary to do so, please advise the reader with that caveat FIRST.
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    Aug 03, 2008 9:48 PM GMT
    kew1 saidJust to let you know, thongs aren't footwear in the UK, they are underwear - see
    stringfellow_232x350.jpg

    Well known (UK) nightclub owner on holiday a few years ago, made people feel ill when they opened their newspapers & saw this when eating breakfasticon_smile.gif


    Yes but in the UK, you also call condoms Durex, down here that is sticky tape, or Scotch tape.

    No a thong is foot wear, and a thong for a replacement jock, is just yuk.
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    Aug 03, 2008 9:55 PM GMT
    Now down here in Oz. Some other countries may think us blunt, str8 to the point, and in a lot of ways we are. But this is not being aggressive.

    The history of the Aussie language dates back to the very first white person being born in Oz. The hatred for the Pommies was so great, that the language started to change with the very first white generation born to Oz, in a rebellion to the English; pommies.

    Oh we also call condoms rubbers too, and a rubber is also an eraser.

    I don't get, to go, One gets, "take away."
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    Aug 04, 2008 12:59 AM GMT

    Hey Pattison,

    We notice that you know the different meanings for words well, which is (thanks) the point we were trying to make.

    Up here we also call it 'take away' or 'take-out' or 'to go'.