a lack of belonging

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    Jul 03, 2012 1:48 AM GMT
    Have you ever felt left out? How did you over come? I think my path will begin around 220lbs, I plan on getting a lot more active, and I have a feeling I'll start making more friends... maybeh?
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    Jul 03, 2012 1:51 AM GMT
    Get a job that makes you travel a lot. Then being left out is more than a feeling - It's a way of life.
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    Jul 03, 2012 1:52 AM GMT
    mikeinslc saidHave you ever felt left out? How did you over come? I think my path will begin around 220lbs, I plan on getting a lot more active, and I have a feeling I'll start making more friends... maybeh?


    I feel that way a lot. But it keeps me pushing forward and forces me to come out of my shell and work hard at improving myself so I feel more comfortable in my own skin.

    But I have to admit life does get really lonely for me sometimes. I have a great family and friends but I still feel sometimes alone.
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    Jul 03, 2012 1:56 AM GMT
    I grew up an outcast. It shaped me as a person in many ways in that I cultivated a lot of personal interests, hobbies, abilities (which kept me busy and allowed me to not have to dwell on being an outcast). Those social inadequacies in my childhood and teen years however carried over deep-rooted effects into my adulthood.
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    Jul 03, 2012 1:57 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidI grew up an outcast. It shaped me as a person in many ways in that I cultivated a lot of personal interests, hobbies, abilities (which kept me busy and allowed me to not have to dwell on being an outcast). Those social inadequacies in my childhood and teen years however carried over deep-rooted effects into my adulthood.


    I believe a lack of belong can either crush or propel you.
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    Jul 03, 2012 1:58 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidI grew up an outcast. It shaped me as a person in many ways in that I cultivated a lot of personal interests, hobbies, abilities (which kept me busy and allowed me to not have to dwell on being an outcast). Those social inadequacies in my childhood and teen years however carried over deep-rooted effects into my adulthood.
    Couldn't have said it better. That's the reason I'm actually considering getting a local job (still in aviation) to stay in Arizona, and taking Geology classes to get into Geology.

    Really wanna be an outcast? Be involved in a nerd-ish field like that. icon_lol.gif
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    Jul 03, 2012 1:58 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidGet a job that makes you travel a lot. Then being left out is more than a feeling - It's a way of life.


    Or become an actor- little money so you can't take holidays, work odd hours and most guys don't want to date you because your career takes you all over the place and you are seen as weird
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    Jul 03, 2012 1:59 AM GMT
    blactor said
    paulflexes saidGet a job that makes you travel a lot. Then being left out is more than a feeling - It's a way of life.


    Or become an actor- little money so you can't take holidays, work odd hours and most guys don't want to date you because your career takes you all over the place and you are seen as weird
    I'm used to that. We should date. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 03, 2012 1:59 AM GMT
    mikeinslc said

    I believe a lack of belong can either crush or propel you.


    The reality is more of an amorphous, gray area. All life is a gray area.
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    Jul 03, 2012 1:59 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidI grew up an outcast. It shaped me as a person in many ways in that I cultivated a lot of personal interests, hobbies, abilities (which kept me busy and allowed me to not have to dwell on being an outcast). Those social inadequacies in my childhood and teen years however carried over deep-rooted effects into my adulthood.


    I feel the same way. For instance as a kid to escape from being so different I would write stories and my imagination helped with having only a few friends and for being different. As I got older though I still write but my imagination no longer does the trick if I am feeling lonely.

    It does not help I am painfully shy especially around new people I do not know.

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    Jul 03, 2012 2:02 AM GMT
    I've always been an oddball. (Shocking!) In my teenage years, I was forced into solitude by my parents, which messed me up in the head badly. I've spent most of my adult years by myself. I finally realized that I had to make big changes in myself if I ever wanted to stop being alone. I don't think I'll ever feel like I fit in anywhere, but I've been able to make friends and even date a bit. The process of reshaping yourself mentally makes the process of reshaping your body seem like a piece of cake.
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    Jul 03, 2012 2:05 AM GMT
    DudeInNOVA saidI've always been an oddball. (Shocking!) In my teenage years, I was forced into solitude by my parents, which messed me up in the head badly. I've spent most of my adult years by myself. I finally realized that I had to make big changes in myself if I ever wanted to stop being alone. I don't think I'll ever feel like I fit in anywhere, but I've been able to make friends and even date a bit. The process of reshaping yourself mentally makes the process of reshaping your body seem like a piece of cake.


    I agree that reshaping yourself mentally is so much harder then physically.
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    Jul 03, 2012 2:06 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    blactor said
    paulflexes saidGet a job that makes you travel a lot. Then being left out is more than a feeling - It's a way of life.


    Or become an actor- little money so you can't take holidays, work odd hours and most guys don't want to date you because your career takes you all over the place and you are seen as weird
    I'm used to that. We should date. icon_biggrin.gif


    Ok cool.

    Two weirdos dating each other ? Where have you been all my life, buttercup?
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    Jul 03, 2012 2:17 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidI grew up an outcast. It shaped me as a person in many ways in that I cultivated a lot of personal interests, hobbies, abilities (which kept me busy and allowed me to not have to dwell on being an outcast). Those social inadequacies in my childhood and teen years however carried over deep-rooted effects into my adulthood.
    Holy crap, you too, Really!?
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    Jul 03, 2012 2:40 AM GMT
    Aside from my deep personal connection with my maternal grandfather, one of my brothers in my childhood and senior year of high school; I can't recall any time in my life when I didn't belong to anything one group. I've always been estranged by my family's religions; my mixed racial background and appearance; and my lack of particular social skills necessary to carry on most typical conversations; though I can tell you a lot about shit you probably couldn't remember or care about. There parts of my brain that don't work well, and others kicked into overdrive.
    Growing up I saw a lot of the worst in people, namely my family, and how shallow and cold people could be. This made me hate people for the longest time, and I wanted to keep to myself and the few people that were, "normal" to me at the time. I drowned out the world with hours of television, and only hung out with people who I genuinely cared about my ornery ass.
    Somewhere along the line, after puberty and before graduation, I learned that not all people are so bad, and that most of the people I thought were beacons of light were just as messed up as anyone else on earth... including myself. Mind you, all this time I examined and psychologically dissected anyone whom I deemed a threat or wise. I was a real Dexter, without the laboratory.
    My party life was always fun, but had a constantly changing cast of characters, I called friends and homies in it. Moving every few years, made it easier for me to get used to the idea of starting over again, and again, and over again still... Right now, I'm in my 4th of 5th major move phase, and I can't wait for this one to end, or something good to change. I'm really tired of mindfucking the fuckers who've been trying to mind fuck me since they realized I won't conform to their idiocratic ways. I'm still a man without a home, career and haven't made a mark on the world that I'm entirely aware of; other than being the guy who says the shit noone cares to think about... but that has always been the case with me.
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    Jul 03, 2012 2:54 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidI grew up an outcast. It shaped me as a person in many ways in that I cultivated a lot of personal interests, hobbies, abilities (which kept me busy and allowed me to not have to dwell on being an outcast). Those social inadequacies in my childhood and teen years however carried over deep-rooted effects into my adulthood.


    Same here. And, I've turned what were deep-rooted feelings of social inadequacy into empathy and compassion for those whom society shuns and who may think to themselves, "I am shit".

    I also have a delicious way of dealing with those who may have the attitude of "I AM THE SHIT" and those who asphyxiate or steal hope from others.

    For them, the same tongue that with the precision of a "scalpel" which can save a life can also figuratively decapitate, castrate, and verbally disembowel.
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    Jul 03, 2012 3:37 AM GMT
    I tend to feel like an outsider everytime I move to a completely different country... it always subsides after a while though
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    Jul 03, 2012 3:38 AM GMT
    I'm generally a pariah...even on RJ =/
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    Jul 03, 2012 3:52 AM GMT
    CrankySpice saidFunny how differently people react.
    I grew up physically abused from the day I was born until I ran away for good at age 16. But instead of isolating me, it made me social and gregarious, so that during my school years I could always find some school activity or one of my huge number of friends to hang out with, anything to avoid going home and getting beaten up.


    That's very normal, from what I've heard. Physically abused children overcompensate by becoming extremely outgoing.
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    Jul 03, 2012 3:58 AM GMT
    CrankySpice saidFunny how differently people react.
    I grew up physically abused from the day I was born until I ran away for good at age 16. But instead of isolating me, it made me social and gregarious, so that during my school years I could always find some school activity or one of my huge number of friends to hang out with, anything to avoid going home and getting beaten up.


    icon_sad.gif I'm sorry you had such hardships growing up. I hope you' have better people in your life now.
  • creature

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    Jul 03, 2012 4:01 AM GMT
    ariodante, an outcast?

    2aikimc.jpg
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    Jul 03, 2012 4:02 AM GMT
    blactor said
    paulflexes said
    blactor said
    paulflexes saidGet a job that makes you travel a lot. Then being left out is more than a feeling - It's a way of life.


    Or become an actor- little money so you can't take holidays, work odd hours and most guys don't want to date you because your career takes you all over the place and you are seen as weird
    I'm used to that. We should date. icon_biggrin.gif


    Ok cool.

    Two weirdos dating each other ? Where have you been all my life, buttercup?
    I've been on work assignments everywhere except where you are. Well I did work work in Jersey City a few weeks...that's kinda close, sorta.
  • TheBizMan

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    Jul 03, 2012 4:08 AM GMT
    I see how it is Paul... icon_sad.gif

    asshole
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    Jul 03, 2012 4:10 AM GMT
    creature saidariodante, an outcast?


    Yep.
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    Jul 03, 2012 4:12 AM GMT
    TheBizMan saidI see how it is Paul... icon_sad.gif

    asshole
    Who says I only date one guy?

    Fringe benefit of traveling for a living. icon_wink.gif