How easy is gay adoption?

  • UCstudent

    Posts: 123

    Jul 04, 2012 2:00 AM GMT
    I am only 20 but I already know I want to adopt one day. I was hoping does anyone here have children with their partners or know anyone who has children? How easy/difficult is the process? expensive? just curious
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    Jul 04, 2012 3:28 AM GMT
    Is it difficult? Yes.
    Expensive? Yes.

    You have to prove that you're emotionally AND FINANCIALLY capable of raising a child.

    <-- Adopted.
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    Jul 04, 2012 4:14 AM GMT
    UC Student! Good for you man! I knew there were some other committed guys out there who want to be great dads. It is difficult, but you can do it. Here in Chicago, we do it ALL THE TIME!! In DC as well. Go to a local DCFS station and ask about the process. They'll be glad to guide you. International adoption is a different story, but again, here in Chi...every day :-) Go for it man! Be a great daddy! Happy Father's Day in advance ;-)
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    Jul 04, 2012 4:31 AM GMT
    caramelopelon saidUC Student! Good for you man! I knew there were some other committed guys out there who want to be great dads. It is difficult, but you can do it. Here in Chicago, we do it ALL THE TIME!! In DC as well. Go to a local DCFS station and ask about the process. They'll be glad to guide you. International adoption is a different story, but again, here in Chi...every day :-) Go for it man! Be a great daddy! Happy Father's Day in advance ;-)
    Be careful who you advise. He's 20 and single...not exactly high priority for adoption.

    Then again, the fact that you advised him to seek assistance from the pro's is good. Hopefully they can lead him in the right direction so that he can eventually fulfill his dream successfully and raise an awesome kid.

    To the OP, be advised that raising a kid is more than a hobby or interest. It's a complete change of lifestyle. And also be aware that once children are old enough to think and act on their own (WELL before 18 ), they will butt heads with you on many subjects. If you're not prepared for that, you could totally fuck the kid up for the rest of his or her life.

    <-- Still at odds with the majority of my family, and vehemently disagree with my mom every time we talk on the phone.
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    Jul 04, 2012 4:32 AM GMT
    According to Sex and the City you can get a Guatemalan kid for like $100
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    Jul 04, 2012 4:33 AM GMT
    7Famark saidAccording to Sex and the City you can get a Guatemalan kid for like $100
    But they don't love you long time. They only love you for an additional twinny dolla.
  • Relyks132

    Posts: 80

    Jul 04, 2012 4:39 AM GMT
    actually... in ontario, canada

    If you adopt via Children's services, its free, but it takes about 9 months to go through classes, police checks, doctor checks and financial checks, and a shitload of paperwork


    icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 04, 2012 4:41 AM GMT
    Relyks132 saidactually... in ontario, canada

    If you adopt via Children's services, its free, but it takes about 9 months to go through classes, police checks, doctor checks and financial checks, and a shitload of paperwork


    icon_biggrin.gif
    No psychological checks? icon_eek.gif
  • jsowneon

    Posts: 119

    Jul 04, 2012 7:42 AM GMT
    Of course it isn't an overnight thing and there is a lot of paperwork straight or gay adoption. It's a human life not a dog from the pound even if they might be treated similar sometimes. Just speaking from the adopted kid side. I was put into the foster system before I was 1 and was in it with multiple families until I was put with a women who was interested in adoption and had me as a foster kid for about a year while all the paperwork was getting processed and all the steps work taken. There will of course still be hard headed people out there who will say that a gay couple adoption is not right because it doesn't go along with the "Nuclear Family" picture. But speaking from someone who was adopted by a single middle class mother who worked 2-3 jobs, at a time, throughout my whole childhood to pay for everything for me and my younger adopted brother(from a different family) "Nuclear" is overrated.

    Also, the child's birth family information will be sealed until they are 18, with the exception that you are in constant contact with the family. As long as, you instill good values and are completely honest with them they should respect that. If they should find their birth family when their 18 it has more to do with them then you and if everything works out they could have 2 very important and just as loved families(depending on the birth family situation for putting them up for adoption).

    Finally it is good that you are thinking ahead because whether by birth or by adoption a new child is something you want to be prepared for but if you really want it And are ready for it you will do anything to make it happen, whether it be money or paperwork or waiting. Good luck with everything and I wish you the best!
  • josephmovie

    Posts: 533

    Jul 04, 2012 10:09 AM GMT
    Everyone who can't have children seems to think adoption is the way to go, but as someone who was adopted, along with my 3 siblings, I can assure you that it is not an easy option. Most (not all) of the adopted people I know have strained relationships with their adoptive parents, and my whole family falls into this category. There is a book called "the Primal Wound" which explains what many adoptees go through.

    Don't let this put you off through. But do realise that loving and providing for an adoptive child is not guarantee of a close relationship. There are many other uncontrollable issues at play.
  • Relyks132

    Posts: 80

    Jul 07, 2012 12:29 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    Relyks132 saidactually... in ontario, canada

    If you adopt via Children's services, its free, but it takes about 9 months to go through classes, police checks, doctor checks and financial checks, and a shitload of paperwork


    icon_biggrin.gif
    No psychological checks? icon_eek.gif


    actually included in the paperwork is a questionnaire with questions like:

    "When did you go on your first date?"

    "Do you feel your parents were: select multiple from the list"

    "How was your first sexual experience?"
    ....
    My parents tried going for it but my dad had a car accident a few years back and currently has brain damage. So they cannot foster or adopt children, from CAS anyway.