I haven't met his parents yet... why??

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    Jul 04, 2012 3:26 AM GMT
    I had been seeing someone for about 8 months and never met his parents or brother, or even his close friends. We all live in the same city. I've asked why and he says they're just always busy. I feel like I'm not important or I'm not good enough for him and that's the reason why he won't let me meet them, yet he visit them independently every so often. What's wrong with this picture?
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    Jul 04, 2012 3:29 AM GMT
    OR

    He could be embarrassed of them?
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    Jul 04, 2012 3:29 AM GMT
    1) He's not out.

    2) He's embarrassed by THEM.

    Those are the two reason why I wouldn't bring a boyfriend home...or really meet my friends. My friends are quite immature and weird and I'd be quite embarrassed by their behavior in front of the guy I'm dating.
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    Jul 04, 2012 3:46 AM GMT
    BF and/or Parents in denial.

    May have to just live with it.
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    Jul 04, 2012 3:51 AM GMT
    my bf hasn't met my parents and we've been together for a total of like 3 years. they live in the state too
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    Jul 04, 2012 3:59 AM GMT
    Meeting the parents is pretty normal, it's not as easy to introduce a guy to your parents as it would be to introduce a girl. In my case, I would also wait a while for that to happen.
    As for the not introducing you to his friends, well that's a little weird unless he's in the closet.
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    Jul 04, 2012 4:03 AM GMT
    It's just strange because he's met all of mine, and my work colleagues. I'm almost insecure about it because he's more integrated in to my life than I am in his. Paranoia much?
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    Jul 04, 2012 4:04 AM GMT
    My last ex introduced me to his mom..... only to break up with me 2 weeks later. It's no big deal.
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    Jul 04, 2012 4:07 AM GMT
    huhwhat saidMy last ex introduced me to his mom..... only to break up with me 2 weeks later. It's no big deal.
    Awww that sucks! I guess I'm just a family man and like that sort of thing.
  • Gaymer

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    Jul 04, 2012 4:08 AM GMT
    Some people don't get along with their families.
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    Jul 04, 2012 4:09 AM GMT
    You don't have enough abs to impress his family and friends.
    Learn Paleo and start working out.
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    Jul 04, 2012 4:21 AM GMT
    Firebrand saidmy bf hasn't met my parents and we've been together for a total of like 3 years. they live in the state too

    You noticeably didn't mention why this is, so I'll ask...why?

    I've not met my BF's either but his only sibling lives in NC and his parents, who have issues with him being gay, live in southern CA. Someday we'll all meet. I'm guessing that your BF just isn't ready yet. A good pointed conversation without cornering him would be my suggestion, understanding that if he's not ready, you need to work with him not get upset with him.
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    Jul 04, 2012 4:34 AM GMT
    I can understand not meeting parents and family in some cases but not meeting his close friends means he either has none or is still in the closet. Not good either way. Somewhere along the line he is lying.. to you or them or all of you.
    Time for a discussion or to move on
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    Jul 04, 2012 4:39 AM GMT
    northoz saidI can understand not meeting parents and family in some cases but not meeting his close friends means he either has none or is still in the closet. Not good either way. Somewhere along the line he is lying.. to you or them or all of you.
    Time for a discussion or to move on

    Or is like me and is embarrassed by them. icon_confused.gif
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    Jul 04, 2012 4:42 AM GMT
    Maybe his family is unapproving of gays in general and he's protecting you (and the relationship) from them.

    Instead of us speculating here, why don't you just ask him? In a good relationship communication is key.
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    Jul 04, 2012 4:46 AM GMT
    CityRiver saidMaybe his family is unapproving of gays in general and he's protecting you (and the relationship) from them.

    Instead of us speculating here, why don't you just ask him? In a good relationship communication is key.


    But it doesn't feel like he's protecting me from anything, just hiding, and every time I ask he gets worked up and angry at me for asking. So unfair.
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    Jul 04, 2012 4:48 AM GMT
    be thankful for small miracles.... LOL
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    Jul 04, 2012 4:57 AM GMT
    hotrocket said
    CityRiver saidMaybe his family is unapproving of gays in general and he's protecting you (and the relationship) from them.

    Instead of us speculating here, why don't you just ask him? In a good relationship communication is key.


    But it doesn't feel like he's protecting me from anything, just hiding, and every time I ask he gets worked up and angry at me for asking. So unfair.


    Maybe he had a rough childhood....? How much does he interact with his family? Very little? If you bring up his childhood does he get irritated and worked up as well? If he had a lot of painful memories growing up, then of course he doesn't want you to see that part of him and therefore he hides.

    (I am, of course, speculating that)
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    Jul 04, 2012 4:59 AM GMT
    Maybe he is embarrassed of you. Maybe he is embarrassed of them. Maybe he isn't the "bring the guy home to the family" type. Maybe they don't live close.

    The options are endless.
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    Jul 04, 2012 5:05 AM GMT
    7Famark saidMaybe he is embarrassed of you. Maybe he is embarrassed of them. Maybe he isn't the "bring the guy home to the family" type. Maybe they don't live close.

    The options are endless.


    Or he is in the closet..
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    Jul 04, 2012 5:09 AM GMT
    Cranque_des_Epices said
    Firebrand saidmy bf hasn't met my parents and we've been together for a total of like 3 years. they live in the state too

    You should take him to meet your folks.
    They'll probably like him more than they like you.
    I imagine anyone would.


    128966567262284621.jpg
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    Jul 04, 2012 5:21 AM GMT
    Cranque_des_Epices said
    Firebrand saidmy bf hasn't met my parents and we've been together for a total of like 3 years. they live in the state too

    You should take him to meet your folks.
    They'll probably like him more than they like you.
    I imagine anyone would.


    lmao

    mad dino is mad
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    Jul 04, 2012 5:46 AM GMT
    When I met my last BF family I realized his roots were rather pedestrian and white trash and although he presented himself as educated and aware, I knew after meeting these slobs and good for nothing's, that he too would always fall back on their lazy and slack jawed ways. We broke up soon after that fateful meeting, I of course blamed it on the weather.
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    Jul 04, 2012 8:48 AM GMT
    I haven't met his mother because she lives in Venezuela. It's funny I ran across this thread because just this evening I was jokingly teaching me how to say " Hello Ms. ____. My name is ______ and I sleep naked every night with your son in the same bed" in Spanish.

    He's not out to her and was clowning around with me about her first meeting with me.

    He met my mother before she knew I was gay or living with him. She kissed him hello thinking he and I were just friends. She was told about a month later during their second meeting. No heart attack as she was forewarned.
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    Jul 04, 2012 9:26 AM GMT
    My question when I read such posts is...what did he say when you TALKED TO HIM about this?
    We don't have enough information to offer anything really helpful. It's just speculation. And speculation without details can sometimes be damaging.

    If you've been together 8-months and you haven't asked him about this, what's wrong with the picture is you two arent communicating well.