I want a boyfriend and I think my l.ife would be complete if I had one.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 11, 2007 5:47 PM GMT
    There, I said it.
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    Aug 11, 2007 6:10 PM GMT
    Did no-one ever tell you to be careful about what you wish for... you may just get it!
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    Aug 11, 2007 6:11 PM GMT
    cos then you'll have all those other worries. Just read some of the posts on here... will my boyfriend be faithful? Is he seeing someone else? He's spending too much time on the internet? Will he leave me if I get fat?

  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Aug 11, 2007 8:12 PM GMT
    You know what...?
    Try not to make the live and end all of getting a BF and you may just get one
    You're gonna have to be happy with yourself before you can attract someone else to you
    I know you'd like to share your life with someone else but it ain't gonna work until you are good with being sometimes alone
  • Lincsbear

    Posts: 2603

    Aug 12, 2007 1:29 AM GMT
    Chasersprize,the other guys are right.Learn to be confident with yourself and relax about being on your own,enjoy your own company.You`ll be surprised what can happen then.I was on my own for a few years,and reached a stage of being happy with myself.Then I met a guy and everything changed.Most importantly,I was ready for a relationship.Best wishes,John.
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    Aug 12, 2007 1:38 AM GMT
    A boyfriend won't make you happy. You think it will and for a while it, if you get a boyfriend, your will feel complete, but it will fade, because it is a superficial completeness. You have this empty space and you think that if you have a boyfriend it will be gone, but it won't. I say this not as a judgment, but as a human who has been through this predicament. The completion you seek has to come from within not from external sources.
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    Aug 12, 2007 5:01 AM GMT
    I feel the same way, however I haven't accepted myself yet and have no time. Though stressing over going away to school for the first time does knock it onto the back burner.
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    Aug 12, 2007 8:33 AM GMT
    I was engaged once and then he passed on. Ive often felt like there is no way I'll ever get to that point or beyond again. He completed me in a lot of ways but I know now that it wasnt he that completed me. he just showed me how to complete myself so that I could be fine on my own. Only now almost six years later do I realize it all. Your life will never be complete with any guy. You need to be at one with yourself before you take that next step. Its like a wise may once said "how can you help anyone else if you can't even help yourself?". There is much truth to that. you can expect anyone else to complete you since lord know we are never truely completely. All you can do is take life by the horns and keep on going. You need to feel complete with your own life. The grass might seem greener on the other side but thats never the case. Be happy where you are at and things just have a way of falling in to place. Kind of long but Ive often thought the same that if i had a guy in my life again everything would be better. I think now that when I am better he'll be there and well just be an added bonus to each other.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Aug 12, 2007 2:01 PM GMT
    Get your life complete and the B/F will come. Don't think that will be a means to an end. I was single for 3 years, by choice, and it was great. Good Luck.
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    Aug 12, 2007 2:11 PM GMT
    I totally need my boyfriend to function, but you must never say it aloud. It's not sexy to need someone
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    Aug 12, 2007 2:19 PM GMT
    As an answer to Colmdublin comment I would say that my husband needs me to function otherwise it's chaos.

    Being in a relationship is sometimes pleasant, sometimes quite a challenge. You have to work at it, happiness doesn't fall from the sky. You must earn it. We had our ups and downs but we are still together and in love... isn't that cute !!!!!!! lol !!!!! But that's the truth.

    My dear Chasersprize I wish you the best.
    Take care.
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Aug 12, 2007 3:02 PM GMT
    Having a boyfriend in great. I have several. It wonderful to have somebody to love you, making love to you, ask how you day and just holding your hand. I have wonderful memory of all my boyfriends. Just like that Julio Iglesias/Wille Nelson song "to all the boy we loved before". They fill my night with fantasy, teach me the meaning of loving and sharing and just like you say they complete my life. I agree with you

    My life will be miserable and meaningless without them.
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    Aug 12, 2007 4:45 PM GMT
    Until you accept yourself, whole heartedly and completely, you will not allow anyone else to accept you.


    Love thyself and love will find you.


    There are many struggles in this world, but the one that rages on inside in each of us is the hardest to win.
  • irishkcguy

    Posts: 780

    Aug 12, 2007 4:51 PM GMT
    I liked the movie Jerry Maguire up until the end. And then they threw in that "you complete me" crap. We are complete as we are. There is no need for us to find some other person (sometimes code named "The One") who is supposed to magically complete us or make us whole. That is a delusion the Hallmark people invented to sell greeting cards. HOWEVER, I do think another person may compliment us or enhance us. But I think we are fools when we want another person to complete us. We are already complete.
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    Aug 12, 2007 7:15 PM GMT
    I also think that "complete me", "the one" kind of mindset is just a distraction from the real issue of knowing yourself and taking responsibility for you own life and welfare.

    I do also believe that we are social creatures and biologically programmed to be with other people. Yeah we basically get lonely if isolated. I think if you are in this situation you need to give yourself a social outlet like friends, family, etc.

    But being alone can also be useful, because you are forced to confront yourself. Would you like to know you? Would you like to spend time with you? We should not expect someone to swoop down and solve all our problems -- especially in a partner relationship.

    If you are in need, seek out friends first. It not fair to lay a bunch of needs on a new boyfriend. Sometimes it is good to know someone who can just listen, but don't expect to much from friends either.
  • GeorgeNJ

    Posts: 216

    Aug 13, 2007 2:58 AM GMT
    Don't be afraid, buddy. I was once told, "George, there's someone for everyone." Be patient, be yourself, be fun, be loving. Mr. Right will find YOU!
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    Aug 13, 2007 3:55 AM GMT
    Yeah dude, there's a lid for every pot. Good luck!!
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    Aug 13, 2007 3:59 AM GMT
    I hate to say it but if you think having a boyfriend will make yr life ok then YOU would be the person to stay away from. No one wants someone that needy and has no life. Most guys are attracted to some one that has their own life and things going on, projects, work and stuff to do.
    I hope surely you didn't mean that completely. Your life is complete w/you and you alone and a boyfriend adds to that.
    A boyfriend fills in the blanks in parts of yr life but you are in no way INcomplete w/o one.
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    Aug 13, 2007 9:54 PM GMT
    Chasersprize, you are already a completee person. When you get that, you'll get the guy.

    In my experience, it happens when you least expect it.
  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Aug 14, 2007 2:41 AM GMT
    Chaser, PLEASE listen to the advice here!!!! Please don't ever fool yourself into thinking a BF will complete you. Take your time and work on you, You have to be comfortable with yourself before you find happiness with a guy. Trust me, I have had several BF's and all of them have helped me realize the type of men that I like. Take your time, date, go out, have some meaningless hookup sex, see what types of guys are out there before you drag him out to pick out china.
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    Aug 15, 2007 3:46 AM GMT
    Having a BF will not complete you. I thought having a wife would complete me and found that to be completely wrong.

    You have to be comfortable and confident in who you are. When you project these attributes then you will attract someone to you.

    Seeking out a BF for the sake of having a BF will only lead to greater issues that will cause you more heartache and frustration down the road.

    Let it happen naturally. It will come.

    -Chuck
  • liftordie

    Posts: 823

    Aug 15, 2007 4:42 AM GMT
    i always view a relationship as the icing on the cake! if i have one great and if i dont then that is fine too. i have never been the type to be with someone just to be with someone. that is neither fair to him or to me. i am however always receptive to the fact that he might come walking around the corner at any given moment. then life would be better though not necessarily complete. many other factors would need to figure into that also.
  • swimbikerun

    Posts: 2835

    Aug 23, 2007 8:28 PM GMT
    "I shouldn't play myself again
    I Should just be my own best friend.
    Not fuck myself in the head with stupid men"
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    Aug 23, 2007 8:35 PM GMT
    I've just recovered from fainting after reading scally's reply. I agree with him. I wonder if that means I have a high self esteem. teehee.
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    Aug 24, 2007 7:22 PM GMT
    I get what all of you are saying. I still want one, though.