Help me! I'm boring! Conversation skills help!

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  Jul 07, 2012 6:57 PM GMT

  Help me! I'm boring, I never have much to talk about, I can never think of a topic to find in common with anyone! I've always been boring qnd I just don't want to waste any more of my life being boring, bur I can neber tthink of things to talkaboyt, what do you normally talk about with your friends? Any ideas on a good interest to develop?

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  Jul 07, 2012 7:03 PM GMT

  Depends who you're talking to. With strangers, I can tell you right now to NEVER talk about religion, politics or any hazy family things (for instance how your ma cheated on your dad with the mailman). Safe subjects like movies and music and working out. For instance, I can see just by looking at your avatar that you've been to Venice. I think thats Venice anyway.
  
  With your friends, who you know, everything is on the table. Sex, drugs. How long did you last last time you did it? How big is he? Man, I've got to go get tested...thats what my friends and I talk about.

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  Jul 07, 2012 7:04 PM GMT

  When all else fails, talk about sex.

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  Jul 07, 2012 7:22 PM GMT

  IceBucket saidDepends who you're talking to. With strangers, I can tell you right now to NEVER talk about religion, politics or any hazy family things (for instance how your ma cheated on your dad with the mailman). Safe subjects like movies and music and working out. For instance, I can see just by looking at your avatar that you've been to Venice. I think thats Venice anyway.
  
  With your friends, who you know, everything is on the table. Sex, drugs. How long did you last last time you did it? How big is he? Man, I've got to go get tested...thats what my friends and I talk about.

  
  
  Sofia, bulgaria actually.
  

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  Jul 07, 2012 7:26 PM GMT

  Talk about abortion, gay rights, and immigrants and you'll do just fine.

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  Jul 07, 2012 7:28 PM GMT

  Iceblink saidTalk about abortion, gay rights, and immigrants and you'll do just fine.

  Don't forget race relations.

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  Jul 07, 2012 7:30 PM GMT

  Read the news paper, that way you will always have something to talk about

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  Jul 07, 2012 8:59 PM GMT

  The secret of being a good conversationaist is being a good listener. Most people just want someone to listen to them. Ask questions that get them started; it usually doesn't take much. Then just pay attention to what they say and ask follow up questions that are specific so they know you're paying attention. They'll think you're the greatest guy going.

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  Jul 07, 2012 9:02 PM GMT

  barely speak and ask lots of questions...half listen. This is considered a good conversation by most people.

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  Jul 07, 2012 9:06 PM GMT

  Um, we can't tell you what to talk about.
  
  If you want to be interesting then you are going to have to talk about subjects that you are passionate about.
  
  Once you have that then conversation will come naturally. (especially if you find yourself talking to someone who shares that passion).
  
  

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  Jul 07, 2012 9:09 PM GMT

  I'm more of a listener than a talker. I don't think I'm a good conversationalist. Go with what works for you. If you don't have enough interests, then try to find some new ones.

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  Jul 07, 2012 9:10 PM GMT

  never have i encountered so many socially retarded people on the same site before.

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  Jul 07, 2012 9:31 PM GMT

  getnassty saidnever have i encountered so many socially retarded people on the same site before.

  
  
  Well, don't just sit there insulting them, give them a little assistance.

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  Jul 07, 2012 9:33 PM GMT

  
  darren, I suggest mentioning to people what you're interested in. Listen to what they're interested in. This way you find out who you can easily converse with, and who you can't.....yet.
  It's a start.

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  Jul 07, 2012 9:43 PM GMT

  starboard5 saidThe secret of being a good conversationaist is being a good listener. Most people just want someone to listen to them. Ask questions that get them started; it usually doesn't take much. Then just pay attention to what they say and ask follow up questions that are specific so they know you're paying attention. They'll think you're the greatest guy going.

  
  Along these same lines, someone did a survey some time ago and asked people who they thought the best conversationalists were. Television hosts, especially game show hosts scored high. They then analyzed what the game show hosts often said, and they were often just words to draw out the guests, and often phrases we would consider banal such as, "you don't say", "well what do you know".

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  Jul 07, 2012 10:12 PM GMT

  Crack a joke, even if it's at your own expense. Always worth it to see someone smile!

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• HndsmKansan
  
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  Jul 07, 2012 10:16 PM GMT

  Would certainly encourage your listening capabilities, it's what lacking in many relationships. I never have a problem with a conversation when I direct it...meaning, I usually don't have a problem with topics to discuss, even if it turns into a Q&A on my part.... the other guy has lots to talk about!

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  Jul 07, 2012 10:16 PM GMT

  paulflexes saidWhen all else fails, talk about sex.

  
  ^This.

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  Jul 07, 2012 10:19 PM GMT

  Talk about the pros and cons of circumcision. Sex, another good topic. LOL

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• Timbales
  
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  Jul 07, 2012 10:22 PM GMT

  When in doubt, get people to talk about themselves. Just say stuff like, "Really? that's interesting."

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  Jul 07, 2012 10:24 PM GMT

  starboard5 saidThe secret of being a good conversationaist is being a good listener. Most people just want someone to listen to them. Ask questions that get them started; it usually doesn't take much. Then just pay attention to what they say and ask follow up questions that are specific so they know you're paying attention. They'll think you're the greatest guy going.

  
  
  Yes! People by nature are generally narcissistic and love to carry on about themselves. A good friend of mine often says, "OK, I am really nosy and ask lots of questions, so if it gets to be too much just tell me to shut up. . . ." and then he goes into a list of questions beyond trite, first meeting chit-chat type questions.
  
  Getting people to talk about themselves is def a recipe for the rating you as a great conversationalist...even if you haven't said squat.

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• Webster666
  
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  Jul 07, 2012 10:27 PM GMT

  I used to think that we should be able to carry on a conversation with anyone.
  But, it just isn't so.
  We have to find people with similar interests.
  
  My friends and I talk about politics, what's going on in the news, and what's going on in our lives.

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  Jul 07, 2012 10:49 PM GMT

  Webster666 saidI used to think that we should be able to carry on a conversation with anyone.
  But, it just isn't so.
  We have to find people with similar interests.
  
  My friends and I talk about politics, what's going on in the news, and what's going on in our lives.

  
  But not necessarily the same point of view. Talking in an echo chamber is boring.
  
  To the OP, go live life. Develop some interests. Read something, listen to music, take part in your community. Then you can talk about that.

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  Jul 07, 2012 10:53 PM GMT

  darren222 saidHelp me! I'm boring, I never have much to talk about, I can never think of a topic to find in common with anyone! I've always been boring qnd I just don't want to waste any more of my life being boring, bur I can neber tthink of things to talkaboyt, what do you normally talk about with your friends? Any ideas on a good interest to develop?

  
  
  Maybe you are talking to the wrong people?

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  Jul 07, 2012 11:04 PM GMT

  It sounds really cliche, but when you can't think of a topic to start a conversation, bring up the weather. Everyone has an opinion about the weather. And talking about the weather inevitably leads to other topics like where people are from, places they've traveled, outdoor interests, etc etc etc.

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